Some time in the middle of April, my family decided to go meatless for a month.
Actually, I proposed it after we'd had a discussion about whether or not vegetarianism was a healthier lifestyle. I…told my kids that you can be a vegetarian, or even a vegan, and subsist on pasta, veggie hot dogs, and Oreos--not the healthiest of diets, per se. I proposed that we go meatless for a month, and try to be as adventurous as possible. Frankly, our meal plan was in need of a shake… >> Read More
Christmas envy has been well documented. There are many Jews who are less than subtle about their yuletide longings: the lights are shimmery and sparkly, that tree smells fantastic, the music is…just so very merry, and who doesn't want an eggnog latte? Many of us have made our peace with the little bits of the all-encompassing Christmas barrage that we have come to love--I myself feel like I can have my Bing Crosby and eat it, too. But this time of year there's another sort of… >> Read More
I am not a sports fan. I might even describe myself as the anti-sports fan. Occasional viewing is fine, and so is mild fandom, but for many years I neither encouraged nor approved of…sports-obsessing. (In my mind the only things worth obsessing about are politics, Springsteen tour dates, and the odd celebrity scandal). It all seemed silly, pointlessly aggressive, and boorish (sports, not politics. OK, maybe both). When I first got married I made my distaste for sports-watching immediately known--and no sport was more disdained by me than… >> Read More
As a kid I learned that the so called Gates of Heaven opened on Rosh Hashanah and stayed open until the end of Yom Kippur. I therefore had about 10 days or so to get all my prayer in until The…Gates slammed shut and I had to wait until next year to apologize for all my lies or ask for a Wonder Woman outfit. I thought about this business with The Gates while I was in Foot Locker with my boys yesterday. Shockingly, the sneakers I had purchased for them a short while ago had… >> Read More
Now that we are officially in the Jewish month of Adar, I am in a complete Purim panic. I do not panic about baking hamantaschen, because for the sake of all involved, I do not bake. I do not…panic about putting together mishloach manot for friends and neighbors, because I generally believe that less is more. (If you get a Ziploc with two Twizzlers and an Oreo inside, you’re quite welcome.) No, I panic because Purim to me represents the yearly realization that my children might be completely missing the "dorky costume gene,"… >> Read More
I was recently trying to explain to a terrific--if not slightly incorrupt--new friend what the word "clusterf**k" means. It was early in the day, I hadn’t slept much the night before, and my…watery iced coffee (I love you, Dunkin Donuts, but really, a little more coffee and a little less ice) wasn’t doing the trick. Nothing I said made much sense. She continued to stare at me blankly. And then it hit me. “You know, a clusterf**k? Like Friday night dinner?” Light bulb. We suddenly understood each… >> Read More