May 17 2013
So I was reading The Week this past week and I saw an article about Tylenol. I guess a study was recently done proving that Tylenol doesn’t only help with physical pain, but also existential pain or angst. My first thought was, “Damn, why didn’t I find out about that two weeks ago!”
You see, my wife is due to give birth to our second child (a girl) June 1. But really, we have a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now. Wait. Back up. SHE has a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now, but I trust her knowledge of her own body. Read the rest of this entry →
May 16 2013
We’ve all heard horror stories about potty learning. From ill-timed accidents to elaborate bribes, teaching (“training”) children how to use the potty turns even the most sensible people into frantic angry shut-ins. I bought into the hype reading “three day potty boot camp” books and prepared to sit in the bathroom with my naked kid eating salty foods, drinking water, and letting his Curious George doll pretend to pee on the toilet.
I was tired of changing diapers. Infant diapers are an inevitable part of my day, but huge man-sized turds from my 25lb toddler were driving me insane. His lanky body was awkward and unstable on public changing tables and the smell could clear a room in seconds. My blood boiled as I watched him walk behind the couch, drop a deuce in his diaper and then demand I change it immediately–or rather hiding it from me until his butthole blazed with a fiery red rash that required a teary mid-day shower.
I wanted him to put that shit in the toilet. Literally. Read the rest of this entry →
May 14 2013
Shavuot, the holiday that celebrates the receiving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai, begins tonight at sundown at lasts through Thursday at sundown. Which means the Kveller office will be closed and we’ll be off eating way too much cheesecake.
If you’re looking for some tips to celebrate Shavuot with your kids, check out this post conveniently titled “Everything You Need to Know About Shavuot.”
And if you’re looking for delicious dairy recipes, check out all of our Shavuot recipes here.
Chag Shavuot Sameach to all! See you Friday.
Daniel in the lion’s den.
Living in a predominantly non-Jewish environment, we make a conscious effort to cultivate our kids’ Jewish identities. So I bought a couple of Bible storybooks, wanting to give my kids the main highlights of biblical narrative.
While I love Torah study and recognize that every word is ripe with meaning, I now see how the “juicy” parts of biblical narrative are difficult to digest. And when we cozy up on the couch at bedtime, I am confronted with page after page of troubling tales. There’s the fratricide of Cain and Abel, the slavery and the killing of the firstborn child in Egypt, Samson murdering his aggressors and committing suicide in the Samson and Delilah narrative, and of course, a Prophet Daniel and his brush with death in the Lion’s den (spoiler alert: he comes out alive). Night after night I find myself sanitizing these stories, glossing over the violent acts that are hard for me to swallow. Read the rest of this entry →
Don’t go on Facebook on Mother’s Day.
“Look at the breakfast my kids cooked for me,” one of my friends posted, proudly displaying a picture of some beautifully plated granola, coffee, and bud vase of flowers. Honestly. Other friends posted several photos of floral bouquets of varying size. There were status messages that said things like, “Oh, thank you so much, blah blah husband, for letting me sleep until 11! I have the best family in the world!”
When you write, “I have the best family/husband in the world,” the only thing it’s really conveying is “and YOU DON’T!” (Out of curiosity, how would one possibly measure the “best” spouse in the world? In good deeds? Penis/breast size? Bank account? Some combination thereof? And what does it matter if your spouse is the “best in the world”–doesn’t it matter more that that person is the best for you?) Read the rest of this entry →
This post is part of our month-long series featuring different ways that parents of various religions have talked to their kids about God.
When our daughter, Hot Shot, was 4, we followed the advice of the Gospel according to Anne Lamott and sent her to a Jewish day school for kindergarten. See, Anne Lamott says, if you’re going to be an atheist, then fine, so be it, but don’t take it out on your kids. Give them spiritual mentors, she tells us. Allow them the opportunity of faith!
We figured we better listen, because, you know, what did we have to offer our little girl but an ambivalent pragmatist and an atheist Jew? Anne Lamott was raised by pragmatic atheists and she became a Born Again. We couldn’t have that! Read the rest of this entry →
Ruth clings to Naomi.
Conversion to Judaism is a profound thing. Stepping into the ritual waters has a ripple effect on everyone close to you, for better or worse.
My decision to convert was met with long blank stares masking mountains of internal dialogue. Many people inconsequentially convert to religions within Christianity, but for someone who was raised Christian to convert to Judaism is by definition a rejection. Rejecting that the Messiah has come can be interpreted as a dismissal of the morals and lessons you once lived, and in many cases a rejection of those who raised you. It can also be seen as a choice that was made that wasn’t entirely your own. Read the rest of this entry →
May 13 2013
All the parenting news you probably didn’t have time to read this week.
- Since February, Dannon has been selling its kid-friendly Danimals Smoothies with 25 percent less sugar, but did not market it as such for fear that people wouldn’t think it tasted as good. Also, why is there so much sugar in yogurt for kids?! (NYT)
- What happens when you’re pregnant and uninsured? Mira and her husband made too much money to qualify for Medicaid, but not enough money to afford private insurance. (Guernica)
- Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz explains “how she does it” for a new series on Motherlode, in which busy mothers break down a typical day to explain how exactly they keep all the balls rolling at once. (Motherlode)
- Is the Bangladesh Factory Collapse the Traingle Shirt Waist Fire of our time? Here’s hoping we can turn the tragedy into a moment of reform. (Forward)
Kveller.com is seeking an editorial intern. We’re a Jewish parenting website for smart, savvy moms, but the good news is you don’t need to be a mom to work here. You also don’t need to be Jewish, though some familiarity with Jewish culture could help. What we’re really looking for is someone who can write, tweet, find interesting articles our users want to read, and help identify writers we should hire. It would also help if you’re comfortable with WordPress and Photoshop.
The internship is available immediately and would last at least through the end of August. The position is 10-15 hours a week and pays $10 per hour. Applicants must be available to come into our Midtown Manhattan office. To apply, send resume and cover letter to email@example.com with “Editorial Internship” in the subject.
Last Monday morning, my family gathered for the bris of my new nephew. He’s the first in his generation, and after several rough years with many funerals, my family was really ready to celebrate. I had offered to bake for the bris, and my sister (the proud mama) accepted, so I spent Saturday night baking up a storm, making some classic family recipes that are delicious, and that would bring the memory of my mother and aunt into the celebration.
Standing around before we got started, the women of the family looked at the trays of goodies that I had baked, and immediately began the traditional recitation of guilt. “Uch, this is SO BAD. I should NOT eat any of this.” “Don’t let me have ANY of this.” “This isn’t going to help me stay good.” And on and on. Read the rest of this entry →