“Apparently I picked the wrong number of kids to have,” a friend and mother of three kids posted on my Facebook wall the other day. “Maybe you are onto something?”

She–and every other mom of three kids I know–was referencing the recent survey by TODAY Moms (full disclosure, for which I’m a contributor). The survey came up with the unexpected finding that the moms who have it hardest are moms of three kids:

Mothers of three children stress more than moms of one or two, while mothers of four or more children actually report lower stress levels, according to an exclusive TODAYMoms.com survey of more than 7,000 U.S.mothers released Monday. Call it the Duggar effect: Once you get a certain critical mass of kids, life seems to get a bit easier.

Let me let you in on a secret that you probably already know: this is bullshit. Sorry. But here are the reasons: Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: family size, multiple kids, stress

I need a little advice, folks.

My daughters are currently enrolled in the Lenny Krayzelburg Swim Academy at our local JCC. It’s a great program, and I’m very happy with it (and not just because I don’t have to get in the pool with the girls!). My younger daughter (almost 3) is very happy in her private lesson, but my big girl (age 4.5) is, well, not so psyched about her group lesson.  Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: activities, swimming

Need some Mother’s Day gift inspiration? We’re asking our contributing editors the three things they want (and the one thing they can’t actually buy). Here’s what Tamara Reese is hoping for this year.

1. Smitten Kitchen Cookbook

I am so tired of wasting printer ink or schlepping my laptop in to the kitchen to use Deb’s recipes. Her website is amazing and the Salted Brown Butter Crispy Treats are to die for. I actually have the recipe memorized. Rather than memorizing the rest of them with my hot-mess of a Mama-brain, I’d rather just have the book.

2. Custom portrait of my family 

After a day when I want to strangle my preschooler and I’m touched out from an infant nursing non-stop I just want to sit down…and look at pictures of my family. True story, I have no idea why. I would love a custom print that captures what our family looks like right now: my sassy kid, my joyful baby, my husband who scoops us all up and hugs us close to his broad chest any chance he gets. And me, loving them all so much I eat, sleep, and breathe these boys. Having that captured would be more than a gift.

3. Tieks 

File this under “no way would I ever spend this much money on shoes” but the bright blue soles, the clover green hue–they whisper to me at night. In my dream these adorable flats show up on my doorstep tucked inside a Pro Series Vitamix. I of course remove them before making a smoothie. And then I wake up.

What would I want that I couldn’t buy:

Some indication that what I’m doing from dawn till dusk every day as a mother will translate into strapping young men with kind, loving hearts. It’s an impossibility, but it sure would be nice.

I’d also like to go an entire day without wiping someone else’s ass.

*By purchasing any of the above items through Amazon, a portion of the proceeds will go to support our work at Kveller. It’s a Mother’s Day mitzvah!*

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Mother's Day, mother's day gift guide

We talk a lot here at Kveller about mom friends. Where to find them, how to make them, the care and feeding of… The ritual of proper playground hook-up etiquette has become a mating dance of its own, with questions of when to call, what it means when they don’t call back, and the fear of coming off as seeming too needy.

But, the reality is that, in the year 2013, odds are that the parent you end up hitting it off with by the sandbox, the one you begin looking forward to seeing to help break up the monotony of your day, the one you start fantasizing about asking out for coffee without the kids so you guys can really talk and maybe become real friends with–sans sandbox–could well be not a fellow mom, but a dad. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, featured, Friends, mom friends

Need some Mother’s Day gift inspiration? We’re asking our contributing editors the three things they want (and the one thing they can’t actually buy). Here’s what Carla Naumburg is hoping for this year.

1. Pewter and Maple Hamsa by Emily Rosenfeld

Ever since my step-sister brought me a beautiful hamsa from Israel, I’ve started a small collection. This hamsa is not only unique and perfect for a spring holiday, but it’s made by a super nice Jewish Mama. (And if hamsas aren’t your thing, there are a number of other Emily Rosenfeld pieces available on ModernTribe.com.)

2. Jewish Fairy Tale Feasts: A Literary Cookbook by Jane Yolen and Heidi Stemple

Those of you who know me will probably be surprised to see this on my list, as I’m not much of a cook. This lovely book includes Jewish folk tales retold by Jane Yolen (the author of “How Do Dinosaurs” and nearly 100 other books) and corresponding recipes written by her daughter. This book inspired me to make chicken soup for the first time, so it will always have a place in my heart. (Yes, fine, I already have it which totally isn’t the point of this post. I get it.)

3. Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick

Amber Dusick is a Jewish mama, and a HILARIOUS ONE. If you’re not familiar with Amber’s work, check this out. And then buy the book. And then buy another one and send it to me.

The one thing I want for Mother’s Day that *my* money can’t buy:

I want a soundproofed bathroom with a baby-proof lock on the door. (Ideally it would also have some kind of invisible fence across the doorway, just in case, but then I’d have to put some kind of shock collar on my daughters and I’m pretty sure that’s not kosher.) I also want a ridiculously soft toilet seat in my favorite color, a giant whirlpool tub, an espresso maker, and a cafeteria-style conveyor-belt toaster. (The lifetime supply of bagels, cream cheese, and lox are a given, right?) I’m also going to need a waterproof case for my Kindle. Come to think of it, do they make this for grown-ups? Oh, and while we’re at it, this.

*By purchasing any of the above items through Amazon, a portion of the proceeds will go to support our work at Kveller. It’s a Mother’s Day mitzvah!*

See all our Mother’s Day gifts idea here.

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Mother's Day, mother's day gift guide

This post is part of our month-long series featuring different ways that parents of various religions have talked to their kids about God.

In my house growing up, the intellect was God. We were cultural Jews  We ate bagels and lox, matzah and kugel, but we rarely went to temple and but parents didn’t fast or keep Passover. Judaism was the way we stayed connected to family, an excuse to gather, which I loved. At 11 years old when everyone started talking bat mitzvahs and my parents started talking Hebrew School, they couldn’t argue when I said, “I have no desire to do this thing, its all about big parties, materialism, and monetary gifts.” Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: featured, god, god series

I admire those who can evolve on their own, shedding old bad habits through sheer mindfulness and mental discipline. For me, it takes acute laryngitis.

“You’ll become a good listener real fast,” a friend joked. So true! Here’s what else happened when I lost my voice:  Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Discipline, Sick

This month, the Kveller Book Club read the new novel The Mothers by Jennifer Gilmore (just in time for Mother’s Day, no less). Below, some Kveller contributing editors chat about the book, about the harrowing process of adoption, the essence of “motherness,” and cleaning up baby vomit.

Reminder: Be sure to join us for our Twitter chat with Jennifer Gilmore (@Jenwgilmore) TODAY from 12-1 p.m. EST. Follow along with #KvellerLit.  

Adina: Hi, all. Since this book is called The Mothers, it makes sense to start with that totally loaded word. Early in the novel, the main character, Jesse, who desperately wants a baby and is struggling her way through the adoption process, begins musing on what a mother “does.” She says, “…[a mother] fixes the past from the future. If you cannot be a mother, how do you fix the way in which you were mothered…”

The thing is, I don’t think I’ve ever considered my role as a mother as being related to “fixing the past,” at least not consciously. However, I am constantly aware that with each passing day I am becoming more and more like my own mother without even trying. Maybe that’s what a mother does: she edits herself until she becomes a version of her own mother that she’s comfortable with.  Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: book club, the mothers

Shavuot–the Jewish holiday celebrating the receiving of the Torah on Mt. Sinai–is coming up next week, May 15-16th. And what better way to get into the spirit of the holiday than to eat bucket loads of dairy? While the reason for the tradition to eat dairy on Shavuot is not entirely clear, the positive benefits of two days filled with blintzes, cheesecake, and rugelach sure are.

If you’re looking for some fun holiday recipes that are both kid-friendly and adult-approved, look no further than Get Cooking! A Jewish American Family Cookbook by Rachel Harkham and “Mama Doni” Zasloff Thomas. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: featured, giveaway, recipe, Shavuot

This month, the Kveller Book Club read the novel The Mothers by Jennifer Gilmore.

The story centers on a couple’s distressing journey through the adoption process. In the novel, Gilmore tackles the concept of motherhood and takes a hard look at marriage, too. What’s more, Jennifer and her husband were experiencing the adoption process while she wrote the novel and she has written extensively about their own journey. The result is that this book is vividly felt, hugely informative, and ultimately relatable to anyone who has wanted something so much its threatened to consume them.

We were lucky that she found some time between promoting her book and caring for her baby to chat with us about The Mothers. And what’s more, tomorrow from 12-1 p.m. EST, we’ll be hosting a live Twitter chat with Jennifer Gilmore. Be sure to join us by using the hashtag #kvellerlit at tweeting questions to @jenwgilmore.

In an essay titled, “What is Motherness,” for The Huffington Post you talk about how when a baby is adopted, the parents are “the same.” Can you talk more about that?  Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: book club, literview, the mothers