Just to give you a bit of context: I’m at home, parenting two kids–one who’s 3, the other who was just born. And I’m typing this post on my phone. While breastfeeding. While my older child watches TV. So please forgive the sentence fragments.
I just wanted to say a few things about being a mom of two:
1) 1+1≠2. Though that’s what you were taught your whole life in math class, it’s not true when it comes to parenting. Because even when you’ve got two parents home caring for the kids (and maybe even a grandparent or two), your kids might both need mommy at the same time. My baby has cried more in his first four weeks of life than his sister did in her first four months–because I could almost always pick her up right away. It’s a little bit heartbreaking.
2. I forgot how bad the hormones get. I cry about anything and everything. I made the mistakes of choosing to stream Friday Night Lights when breastfeeding in the middle of the night, and man! Sports stories–especially when men cry–always get me. (Speaking of sports stories, as a lifelong Red Sox fan, I was in tears when Jewish player Kevin Youkilis was traded to Chicago recently… Yes, hormones once again.).
3. But–on the positive–the other day the baby was crying, and my daughter went up to the bassinet and said, “don’t cry Benjamin. I’ll keep you safe.” And the baby already quiets down when he hears his big sister’s voice. It’s amazing to be able to envision how much they will love each other.
4. And finally–at the hospital, on that first night after I’d given birth, I sat in my bed, breast feeding my brand new infant, and thought to myself–there is nothing better in the world than this. The feeling of having carried a pregnancy, labored for hours (I’ll tell you about that another time–suffice to say, being induced is not a fun experience), pushed a baby out into the world– and then be able to nurture him and provide for him? It is the most special thing. And even then, as I still felt the residual pain of my pitocin-laced contractions, I thought to myself–I hope we have another one.
What do they say the definition of insanity is? In my mind, it’s postpartum hormones.