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Apr 4 2011

The $1,500 Stroller

By at 3:46 pm

Bugaboo's latest. They call it the "Donkey."

When I heard that Bugaboo’s new model was called the “Donkey,” I suspected that it was a belated April Fool’s joke. Then I heard the price tag for this stroller: $1,500. Oddly, it’s not an April Fools joke at all. In my opinion, though, if you’re going to sell a stroller for $1,500, it should be named the “Jackass.”

Any rational human being would acknowledge that there are few circumstances which would call for the expenditure of $1,500 on a stroller. I’m giving myself wiggle room there, because inevitably, someone is going to write in, telling me I’m ignorant and there is no way they could ever survive without this, the Messiah of Strollers, because their child has a particular issue that can only be addressed by this gift of stroller technology. Okay. For you, I’m glad such a stroller exists.

But for the rest of us, it’s not that the Donkey (honestly, I can’t even say that without laughing – aren’t the Bugaboo manufacturers laughing at us?) is so revolutionary. Yes, it can convert from being a one-kid to a two-kid stroller, which is neato. One kid can be a newborn in a pram-like attachment, and the other can be a toddler facing forward. And that’s cool, too.
I highly recommend going to the Bugaboo website and clicking on the two movies about the Donkey (snort). The first, the Bugaboo Donkey movie, involves parts of a stroller dangling from an all-white merry-go-round and is accompanied by two to three word spurts of narration. It sounds oddly like a Sacha Baron Cohen spoof.

But the second film, “Daily Life,” is the one that really gets me. It’s a film in which really attractive, clearly affluent, and exclusively white couples go about their daily lives with their Bugaboo Donkeys. Their daily lives bear little resemblance to mine.

For example, I do not walk briskly on three-inch heels through a forest, my husband’s arm linked in mine (perhaps for balance) as we push our two new babies in their magnificent stroller through the leaves. (By the way, in this version of daily life, assuming the woman is me, I am amazingly thin for having just birthed twins.)

I also do not decide, on the spur of the moment, to take my baby in a stroller on a wintry day to stroll alongside the ocean (sans diaper bag), laughing with my loving partner as the sun goes down, completely oblivious to whether or not the kid needs to be fed, changed, or go to bed.

So the Bugaboo, I learned from this movie, is actually more than just a stroller. It is, in fact, a powerful and amazing tool. It will help you walk on huge heels through muddy forests. It will get your husband off from work – which he goes to with your baby, obviously – with more than enough time to pick up your delighted, well-adjusted other kid from day care.

With the accessory of the Bugaboo Donkey, you will look remarkably relaxed, with your hair a perfect shade of blonde. You will stroll through a store with your loving spouse, newborn twins and toddler and thoughtfully choose a gift for someone. You will also wait to have it wrapped, because no baby will be awake or screaming and no toddler will be becoming acquainted with the word “shoplifting” as you turn your attention away from him for 10 seconds. Also, it will be no problem whatsoever to get your two kids and your over 40 lb stroller into the subway.

Now, all of THAT is definitely worth $1,500 and change.

Sigh.

Note: The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. All comments on Kveller are moderated. Any comment that is offensive or inappropriate will be removed. Privacy Policy

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