Mayim Bialik with her two sons.
Jordana’s manifesto of the “normal” mom just trying to be happy sums up exactly what my point has been all along: our culture does not value parents being at home and we are not taught to see parenting the way our bodies tell us to as natural, normal, or fulfilling.
With all due respect, each of us do the best we can with the resources, support, and education available to us. Breastfeeding is the recognized best way to feed and nourish your baby. Wearing your baby, keeping them close to you, and cosleeping are things that facilitate breastfeeding. That’s just a fact. That’s why lactation consultants suggest it. Giving “an ounce or two” of formula historically and statistically leads to more formula, less demand at the breast, less milk being made, and eventual weaning. That’s why lactation consultants warn against it. That’s also a fact.
I don’t feel the need to combat every point Jordana makes. I mean, I do, but I choose not to. It astounds me that mainstream “conventional” parents get to devalue the very things that got mammals here, while if I were to post the equivalent, I would be accused of being self-righteous and judgmental.
The majority parenting style clearly gets the upper hand here and cries “judgment” when someone nurses, holds, or spends “more” time with their babies than others. Not all things are the same. That doesn’t make one choice better than the other, but to insist that we equate all choices as equal is, frankly, silly.
I will stop here and let you wait for my book to come out in March. My goal is to place attachment parenting in an historical and neurobiological context while allowing for everyone to make choices that work for them after being educated about why many of us “espouse” attachment parenting.
I also hope that we can put our country’s parenting trends in their proper perspective: a capitalist country emphasizes work, productivity, and wealth. Countries that emphasize natural birth, paid maternity and paternity leave and a culture of helping women see being at home as a legitimate and fulfilling job have their priorities where I want mine. And I hope we can get there.