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Mar 11 2014

When Your Friend is Pregnant, Sometimes it Hurts

By at 2:13 pm


“I’ve been reluctant to write this email and I keep putting it off.”

When you are not able to get pregnant and you get an email with that as the opening line, you know exactly what is coming.

“Even though I know you will be happy for us and excited, I know part of you will be sad. So I wanted to give you time to digest this on your own, rather than springing it on you in person. I know you are happy for us. I know that you are happy for so many people. But I also know it’s hard and don’t expect this kind of news to be easy.”

When my friend of 20 years told me she was pregnant, I felt a lot of things, including true happiness for her. But what I felt most was appreciation that she too was navigating her own balancing act. Read the rest of this entry →

Feb 3 2014

Burp Cloths Are Gender Neutral, Really

By at 2:08 pm


On New Year’s Eve, two of my dearest friends announced that they would be throwing me a baby shower. They also did my wedding shower, a co-ed garden party in my back yard. Guests were only allowed to bring plants or gardening products (seven years of pre-marital cohabitation meant we had all the pots and pans already, and we were doing a travel registry for the wedding itself). It was gorgeous, the food was delicious, and it was exactly the way I thought it should be.

“You have to let us do this one,” they said. “You were too much the boss of your wedding shower.”

Alrighty then! I was only too happy to let them take full creative control. After all, I had a proper registry to focus on, a task that I quickly realized I was in no way mentally or emotionally prepared for. It seems most akin to packing for a trip to another planet, unknown and unexplored.

Friends with similar baby product priorities–chemical free! baby safe! reasonably attractive!–helped out by sending their registries to me. Thus armed, I sat down after work this week and began sorting through the incredible amount of stuff in the world to decide what I thought my friends and family should help us out with for the baby. Read the rest of this entry →

Oct 24 2013

A Baby Shower to Remember

By at 5:03 pm

baby shower cake

Let’s be honest: unless you’re the guest of honor, or maybe a grandparent, most baby showers kind of suck. There are the mandatory feigned squeals of delight over bootie-appliquéd onesies, the cutting one-liners and hurt feelings from thoughtless relatives that inevitably arise during any large family gathering, and the awkward meetings of different friends who had no previous knowledge of one another.

At my friend Hannah’s baby shower on Sunday, it was perhaps slightly more awkward than others for me, who had to think fast to the question-of-the-day: “And how do you know Hannah?”

Trust me, the honest answer would put a fast halt to any conversation. Read the rest of this entry →


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