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Nov 6 2014

I’m That Mom Who Missed Her Daughter’s First Ballet Recital

By at 9:43 am

I Missed My Daughter's Ballet Recital—And That's OK

With her wild, curly hair pulled back in a neat bun, and her pink tights, leotard, and ballet shoes in place, my little girl tapped her toes and lifted her arms in rhythm to the music of her first ballet recital. At least, that’s how it appeared from the video that my sister-in-law sent me and I watched on my iPhone while I attended a wedding two hours away.

For four weeks I sat on a hard, cold bench in a stale waiting room listening to classical music coming from my 3-year-old’s closed-door ballet class, longing to get a glimpse of what she was learning. But her ballet school has a strict student-only policy until the day of the recital, which left me in the dark about her pliés and pointed toes. Even when she emerges from her class with a smile stretching from ear to ear, she won’t show me what she’s learned, insisting that I have to wait until it’s my turn to watch. Read the rest of this entry →

Oct 13 2014

Becoming a Grandmother Turned Me into a Total Sap

By at 3:32 pm


Yesterday I picked up my eldest grandchild from her ballet class. She is 7 and she is about to be in her first concert with her class of eight little girls. She wasn’t quite finished when I got there, so she invited me in to watch her rehearsal.

She is tall and lean and leggy, and she has been learning ballet for only a few months, but she really looked the part with the white leotard and pink slippers and little crossover cardy. I don’t think that I will spoil anything by telling you that her dance is to “I Want to be Where the People Are” from “The Little Mermaid,” and she isn’t Ariel.

She was tip-toeing and wafting her arms around in the chorus and doing little jumps and knee-bends (we used to call them petits jetesand plies and porte-de-bras, but I guess they don’t anymore) and I did what I usually do every time I see little kids trying so hard to do things that the teacher wants: I cried. Read the rest of this entry →

Sep 4 2014

Dear New Parents: It Gets Better, I Promise

By at 11:53 am


“I shower. ALONE. While my girls are in the house. {Insert dramatic pause here.} And my husband is AT WORK. And they’re FINE.”

At this declaration, my friends’ eyes got wide as they watched their 18-month-old daughter smear a mushy banana all over her face. Their little girl was beyond adorable, but like most toddlers, she poops in her pants (OK, actually in a diaper, but you get the point) and sleeps in a cage crib and wanders aimlessly around the house flinging toys and pulling plugs and breaking things her parents didn’t even realize they owned.

Those days are long passed in my house. (OK, mostly passed. Mostly.) My daughters are 4 years old and 5 and ¾ (God help me if I forget the ¾) and they sleep in big-girl beds and they can pee in the potty (I’m not saying they always do. I’m saying they are capable of it). When they’re being annoying it’s mostly because they are choosing to be annoying, which is more than we can say for most toddlers. Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 23 2014

Orthodox Mother Challenges Convention With Her Own Dance Studio

By at 10:48 am


One of the challenges of being female and Orthodox is straddling the line between halachic modesty, artistic expression, and personal empowerment. Take it from Mina Black, a professional dancer and Orthodox mother of four.

“Being an artist in our community, a dancing artist, is a very odd thing. You’re not allowed to express your body. It’s not modest. A woman is supposed to be covered, humble,” says Black.

One of 14 siblings, Mina was raised in a haredi Jerusalem neighborhood where professional dance was strictly forbidden, and she spent a lifetime struggling to find a niche for her talent. Today she lives with her family in Long Island, where she owns a ballet studio for Orthodox girls, blending prayer and spirituality with the art of dance. Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 16 2014

My Brief Life as a Stage Mom

By at 11:14 am


My 4-year-old daughter participated in her first dance recital yesterday. It came after a full year of classes with her 3 to 5-year-old peers. I admit to feeling a little nervous for her: being on a stage, the lights, the full audience. She got nervous when I told her I was leaving to go sit with my husband, mother, and mother-in-law. So, I applied more lipstick (yes, I put some make-up on my 4-year-old), fixed her costume, and tried to leave the room.

Something occurred to me then: I am being a “stage mom.” This is so not me!

She was tearful and wavering and while I was telling her how much fun she was going to have, I was really thinking: You will get on that stage and dance and you will like it! I was thinking of all of the money we put into the class, shoes, and costumes. And I was thinking I did not want her to regret sitting it out. I became consumed with the need for my daughter to complete her dances on stage and feel good about it. Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 6 2013

The Ballet-Hating Mom Goes to a Recital

By at 9:53 am

ballerina sistersWhen my daughter was 2 years old, she requested ballet lessons. I promptly put her off. The world of ballet, in all of its pink, graceful, waif-like glory, is decidedly not my thing. I didn’t want it to be hers either.

The mere mention of the B-word triggers painful memories of a brief period in my childhood when I shoved my awkward pre-pubescent body into pink tights and a matching leotard and stumbled and suffered through a class in which I was at least a head taller and 15 pounds heavier than every other girl in the room. I was not slender or graceful, and my blunt bob was not nearly long enough to put into a bun. It would be the first in a long string of experiences in which I felt like the outsider, and I didn’t want to experience that again, even vicariously through my child.

After six months–a lifetime for a 2-year-old– of requests, I decided to give it a go. Surely it was a phase, I told myself, surely we’d be in bejeweled soccer cleats within a few months.  Read the rest of this entry →

May 23 2012

My Week as a Dance Mom

By at 10:00 am

giselle ballet american ballet theater“Have a great time being Dance Mom!” my 12-year-old son chirped mischievously as I set off with my 8-year-old on his first day of rehearsal for Giselle with the American Ballet Theater at the Metropolitan Opera House in Lincoln Center.

My younger son has been taking dance classes for almost a year now, so when another mom told me about the casting call for background Village Boys in Giselle, we thought we’d give it a shot.

My feeling was it would be a one-of-a-kind, priceless experience. How often, after all, does the average child–or adult, for that matter–get to be on stage at the Met, standing within a few feet of some of the world’s greatest dancers and getting a view even a front-row ticket couldn’t buy? Add to that the chance to work in a professional environment, surrounded by gifted, extremely dedicated and hard-working people, and have the same level of professionalism and hard work expected from you in return, and I figured, yes, that’s worth a week of my life. (And if he failed, well, you know how I feel about failure.) Read the rest of this entry →


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