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Apr 30 2014

How Do I Explain to My Daughter that Sometimes Friends Break Up?

By at 10:11 am


Like all relationships, adult friendships can be complicated, but how exactly do you explain your friend “break up” to your child?

For these purposes, let’s call this friend Sally. Sally was close to my kids, through dinners, outings, and birthdays. She and her husband spent time with us at the pool and they would even babysit when we were in a pinch. Every time we pass their house, Cara would wave out the window to them with the nicknames her brother gave them. So when Sally stopped coming around, Cara asked why, and I couldn’t answer her.

There are no books for this. Throughout their young lives, we teach our children to be friends with everyone, and here I am defriending this woman and all Cara wants to know is, where’s Sally? And every time I tell her maybe we’ll see her soon, Cara says, “I’m sad not to see Sally.” Read the rest of this entry →

Feb 24 2014

When I Finally Developed My Daughter’s Camera, Her Photos Took My Breath Away

By at 1:53 pm


It began, as so many things do these days, with a nudge that turned into a whine. Ima. Eeeeeemmmmaaaaa. When are you going to charge my camera for me?

Orli, my older daughter, has her own camera, a small Fisher Price deal that takes relatively fuzzy pictures–especially given how crisp digital images are these days–unless the light is absolutely perfect. I thought buying it was a mistake.“Why are we giving her a camera that doesn’t even work well?” I wondered, at the time.

It was late last spring, and Orli was in that strange space pre-school age children get into when they are anticipating a sibling they desperately want, and yet, on some level, understand will upend their lives. She wanted a camera. Very, very much. And so we got her this guy, with its sturdy, drop-me-I’ll-be-fine thick plastic walls. It is pink and white. I hated it. Read the rest of this entry →

Apr 30 2012

Should Our Kids Not Have Best Friends?

By at 10:02 am

bff necklaceI’ve sat silent as I read about teachers not using red pencils to mark up students’ work because the color is “too stressful.” I’ve soaked up articles about helicopter parenting, Tiger Moms and a “Bad Mother.” But this piece about schools dissuading children from having best friends or circles of close friends has me meshuga.

Disclaimer: I know the author. I have a picture of myself holding hands with him at maybe my third birthday party. Today we are loosely in touch via Facebook, which is how I came across this article, and I want to make clear it’s not necessarily him with whom I disagree. It’s the whole idea of sparing children emotional pain, which is the basis for the movement he writes about. Read the rest of this entry →


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