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Jun 12 2013

Why We Don’t Celebrate Mother’s Day, but Do Celebrate Father’s Day

By at 10:00 am

father's dayI have never liked having a fuss made over me. I skipped both my high school and my college graduation ceremonies because I didn’t see a point to the long-winded, tedious ritual (held outside in the heat, no less). My husband and I got married at City Hall, because I felt the same way about weddings. (Maybe I inherited the trait from my own mother. Whenever we go to a friend’s wedding, she always tells my husband and I, “Thank you so much for not putting me through this.”)  Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 11 2013

How I Went from a Baseball Hater to a Baseball Dad

By at 12:14 pm

little league baseballI am not a fan of baseball. I’ve never understood the draw of the game, and could never comprehend the passion people have for it. My closest friends from college are all crazy baseball fans; they’re involved with fantasy leagues, spending hours arguing over who has better players.

I didn’t get it. After all, I didn’t play baseball as a kid. I never watched it on TV. I never played catch with my dad, who was never around. My only real experience with baseball was occasionally–very occasionally–going to Shea or Yankee Stadium to see games with my camp or friends. We’d sit all the way at the top, in the cheap seats, directly in the summer sun. There we’d sit, broiling, as all the action occurred amongst the ants on the field far below.  In my opinion, a slower, duller game could not have been invented. Y-A-W-N. Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 5 2013

Don’t We All Need Better Work-Life Balance, Regardless of Our Genitalia?

By at 2:40 pm

working dad coming home to daughterI recently read an article in Bloomberg BusinessWeek entitled, “Alpha Dads: Men Get Serious About Work-Life Balance.” Don’t be fooled, though–these are not dads who fight for work-life balance for all. Rather, they’re serious about work-life balance…for dads. Deloitte Dads, one such organization, is a group to help fathers with time management and family issues in the name of spending more time with their kids. Dads, they contend, are an unacknowledged victim of all the talk about mothers’ work-life balancing act.

“Men have to feel valued and wanted for the balance of their skills,” as Warren Farrell, author of The Myth of Male Power and Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap–and What Women Can Do About It puts it. “People don’t invite the man who raised his children really well back to the 50th high school reunion to talk about it.” Read the rest of this entry →

May 31 2013

Friday Night: Shabbat in Small Doses

By at 10:10 am

two small candlesShabbat was what sold me on Judaism in the first place. As a convert, it’s always been my favorite part of being Jewish. It was the first thing about Judaism that felt like it was mine, the first thing that made me feel like I wasn’t just doing it for someone else, this was what I wanted. For me, for my husband, and for my kids. It’s the foundation for me, it’s what keeps me grounded in Judaism. I don’t speak Hebrew or Yiddish, the emphasis on the Torah is sometimes confusing to me–but Shabbat, Shabbat I understand. Shabbat brings me back, week after week, to what I want most for my life.

So why is it so hardRead the rest of this entry →

May 17 2013

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting for My Wife to Give Birth

By at 11:35 am

two painkillers and glass of waterSo I was reading The Week this past week and I saw an article about Tylenol. I guess a study was recently done proving that Tylenol doesn’t only help with physical pain, but also existential pain or angst. My first thought was, “Damn, why didn’t I find out about that two weeks ago!”

You see, my wife is due to give birth to our second child (a girl) June 1. But really, we have a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now. Wait. Back up. SHE has a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now, but I trust her knowledge of her own body.  Read the rest of this entry →

May 9 2013

Can Moms & Dads Be “Just Friends?”

By at 9:54 am

mom and dad getting coffeeWe talk a lot here at Kveller about mom friends. Where to find them, how to make them, the care and feeding of… The ritual of proper playground hook-up etiquette has become a mating dance of its own, with questions of when to call, what it means when they don’t call back, and the fear of coming off as seeming too needy.

But, the reality is that, in the year 2013, odds are that the parent you end up hitting it off with by the sandbox, the one you begin looking forward to seeing to help break up the monotony of your day, the one you start fantasizing about asking out for coffee without the kids so you guys can really talk and maybe become real friends with–sans sandbox–could well be not a fellow mom, but a dad. Read the rest of this entry →

Feb 1 2013

Friday Night: Reuniting with Dad on Shabbat

By at 1:07 pm

familiy meal with mom dad and kidsTamara’s experience of Friday night, erev Shabbos, is very different than my own. To me, as a young child, Friday night was extra special precisely because my father was always there.

When I was a kid, my father traveled for business. He would leave on Sunday night, my mother, siblings, and I tearfully waving him off as he waited for the elevator. He would return Friday morning or late Thursday night. Every single week for as long as I can remember. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 28 2013

News Roundup: Bluetooth Onesies & Birth Control Sabatoge

By at 2:25 pm

All the parenting news you probably didn’t have time to read this week.

- This short video provides a succinct roundup of some of the most intense baby-monitoring technology out there, from apps and cameras to bluetooth onesies and motorized strollers. Spoiler alert: most of it probably isn’t worth buying. (BBC News)

- Dads get credit for being great parents when they’re really just doing the basics–further proof that expectations for dads are appallingly low. (The Atlantic)

- Stay-at-home-dads are using tech and DIY skills to bring a sense of masculinity, the way that women in the workplace have brought listening and empathy to office culture. Um, okay. (Wall Street Journal)

- OB/GYNs are being trained to look for signs that a male partner is intimidating a female partner into getting pregnant when she doesn’t want to be, and/or sabotaging birth control efforts–a surprisingly prevalent problem. (NPR)

Jan 22 2013

The Surprising Best Part of My Father-Son Weekend

By at 9:54 am

roller coasterIt all started with a simple invitation.

“I’ve got a movie in the Orlando Film Festival,” chimed an old pal, “and I’m bringing Ari [his 6-year old son] with me. How about you bring Gabe [my then 5-year-old] and we’ll make a father-son weekend of it?”

Sounded great to me. I was fired up for our first solo getaway, picturing an iconic weekend of roller coasters, cotton candy, pictures with the characters–the full Disney treatment. I’d create a memory to last a lifetime. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 2 2013

Stuff I’ve Learned from My 16-Month-Old

By at 10:15 am

elad nehorai with daughterI’ll be honest with you: when I was preparing to become a father, I had this image of myself handing out life lessons right and left. I imagined myself being this wise man with deep thoughts and ideas for my children that would mold them into incredible beings, perhaps one day reaching my great heights.

Well, my daughter is 16 months old, and although I haven’t been able to teach her so much yet, what with her inability to speak/listen, I’ve become distinctly aware that my imagination was way off.

The truth is, my daughter has taught me so much more in her little 16 months of existence than I will probably ever teach her over the rest of my life. She’s just awesome like that.

What did she teach me? Let’s start from the top. Read the rest of this entry →

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