My two kids.

Last week was all about the dudes on Kveller, and all this man-talk got me thinking.

In May 2008 and then a scant 18 months later in December 2009, I grunted and screamed and threatened to cut my OB and openly prayed that I wouldn’t lose my shit all over the delivery table I lovingly gave birth to my two children. I breastfed for three and a half years. I’m clearly a Mama. But over the last five months, I sometimes feel like I’ve stepped out of that role and into the traditional male role. In my high heel hooker boots.

Who’s your daddy? Yes I am. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, kibbutz, separation, working moms

Why isn't it Amazon Parent?

People seem to think that my husband is an anomaly. He has spent the last three years splitting our parenting duties evenly, spending a day a week with our children and working the other four days. He took advantage of a program at his company that allowed him to have this schedule and, when he left it to start his own business, we made sure that he was still able to do it. He builds ramps out of cardboard boxes, teaches my son about cooking, encourages my daughter to cruise by tempting her with Cheerios, and adds little quirky things to our lives like “Twinkle Alligator” (the creative version of “Twinkle, Twinkle” that we sing to my son every night).

To me, none of this seems so strange. What does seem strange is when my husband comes home from dropping our son off at preschool and tells me that a woman stopped him on the street to congratulate him for spending time with his child…again. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week, work-life balance

The following piece is written by the husband of frequent Kveller contributer Cara Paiuk. Cara has written about the ups and downs of her fertility treatments, and here, Alejandro offers the man’s perspective.

“Do you have the specimen?” the pretty nurse behind the counter asked me. I timidly handed over the plastic jar with my name on it. “Ummm, I noticed that on this form here it says that we weren’t supposed to use lubricant. Uhhh, I didn’t know that. Is the, er, specimen ruined?”

A few moments later, she handed me a new jar and told me that I had to try again. And so, my one contribution to my wife’s fertility treatment I had managed to screw up. I felt embarrassed to be in that office, embarrassed of what I had to do next, and embarrassed that I had somehow let Cara down. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week, infertility, ivf

5:05 a.m.: The baby screams. She does this sometimes–wakes up, realizes it’s still dark, then goes right back to sleep. A second later, I hear her snoring. Baby-snores! The awesomest, most disruptive sound in the universe. She’s like a tiny tyrannosaurus.

6:00. I’ve been lying in bed for nearly an hour, awake, trying to force myself back to sleep. That’s my limit. I leap out, pass my still-sleeping wife, grab my laptop off the floor. We watched our token episode of TV together on it, The United States of Tara, before crashing last night. That was a few hours ago. It was our couple-time for the night. Basically these days, Toni Collette is the third person in our marriage. (I’m the token non-Australian.) The screen’s still up, and it makes a momentary loud noise before I close that window. My wife stirs, then falls back asleep. Whew. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, day in the life, dude week, featured

I am a (soon-to-be) divorced dad. What this means on a practical level is that I parent day to day without the input of anyone else, for the most part. Of course I have plenty of role models, but on the ground, I am winging it without another adult.

My daughter Ronia is 4, and though she is a curious and highly observant individual, she does not really pepper me with questions in the matter of some kindergartners in literature. Nor does she really respond to my questions/reveals in an outsized manner. When I warned her I was applying for a job with super long hours (I am fortunate enough to have only worked full-time for one month of her life) her reaction was: “Does that mean I can have more sleepovers with [her friend from school]?” Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, Divorce, dude week

Early in life, I think it’s easier for men to make friends than it is for women:

Kindergarten: I like soccer. Me too. Let’s be friends.

Middle School: I like girls. Me too. Let’s be friends.

High School: I can burp the periodic table. Me too. Let’s be friends.

College: I like beer. Me too. Let’s be friends. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week, Friends

We’ve introduced you to the JDILFs. You’ve gotten your latest issue of the Dad-Dish. And now, it’s time to test how much you know about those celebrity Jewish dads.

Who’s married to who? What did they name their kids? Who makes the most money? (Just kidding, we don’t really ask that.)

In honor of Dude Week, take the Famous Jewish Dads Quiz on Kveller today!

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: celebrities, Dads, dude week, pop quiz

Gentlewomen of the jury: I used to spend time with my kids. Honestly. Lots of time. Backyard-soccer-and-creating-family-newspapers-and-weird-board-games kind of time.

Don’t do that so much anymore.

Nowadays, when we do fun stuff, like this Gordon Family Pie Fight, it has to be scheduled after office hours or on the weekend.

Y’see, for the last decade or so, I had been a freelance writer and editor, working most of the time at home. Then, in January 2011, I got a full-time office job.

Back in the vocational day, I pretty much always had time to drop off and pick the pishers up at school. I would also hang out and have a cup of Keurig Coffee with our day school‘s cool admissions officer (Boker Tov!) in the mornings. My kids and I would play endless games of run-from-the-monster on the playground afterschool. If someone forgot a book or a lunch, I could easily tear back home and deliver it to the appropriate school locker. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week, featured, work-life balance, working

Being a dude is hard. You’ve got a family to support, your extra height means you’re always being asked to reach for things in high places, and sometimes it feels like no matter how much you do for everyone it’s never enough. Here are a few small things you can do for free and in less than 30 minutes that will get you all the appreciation you’ve been missing.

1. Have More Sex. (Sorry, you’ll have to clean first.)  Studies have shown that men who do more domestic work like cleaning, laundry, etc. have more active sex lives.  So next time you find yourself with an extra twenty minutes, find something dirty and clean it.

2. Finally get rid of that old leather blazer/yellow fleece/tie from your ex-girlfriend. Every dude has something in his closet he knows his partner loathes.  Chances are, her taste is better than yours, so do yourselves both a favor and get rid of the relics from your heavy metal hair band phase or at least let the kids turn them into costumes.


3. Offer a surprise foot massage. Massaging a foot doesn’t take any real talent or skill, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome (especially for women that are always on their feet or in heels or both).  So next time you’re sitting on the couch, watching TV, offer to relieve your lady’s tired soles with a good old-fashioned foot rub.  All it takes is ten minutes to be the night’s hero.

4. Use your kids and their art supplies to make Mom a present. As much as we love getting jewelry (seriously, we love jewelry), giving it all the time can get expensive.  So grab the kids, find some craft supplies you’ve already bought, and make something special for Mom.  But also keep buying her jewelry.

5. Stand up for her (and your) legal rights.  Your partner’s fertility is your fertility, and if the government is controlling her access to birth control, it is also dictating when you can and cannot get laid.  So sign a petition, make a donation, or just speak your mind next time the issue comes up.

6. Write your own Eshet Hayil. The tradition of singing your wife’s praises at the Shabbat dinner table is an old favorite, but the lyrics are a bit outdated.  (I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had a maidservant in years.)  Compose your own ode to the woman who “arises while it is still night” and whose “value is far beyond pearls.”  Bonus points if you give it a tune and get your kids to sing it with you.

7. Read Kveller! Okay, yes, this one is a little self-serving on our part, but hear us out.  It might not be you doing the breastfeeding or throwing the baby showers, but it wouldn’t hurt to learn the lingo. And besides, who doesn’t want to learn to make orange popcorn?

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week

A while back, Susie Felber brought us the Top 20 Stylish Jewish Moms in History, and admire them we did. Now, in honor of Dude Week, we are very pleased to present to you Susie’s new collection of stylish Jewish dads, also known as JDILFs. Enjoy!

1. Roman Abramovich

This Russian mega billionaire has got six kids, a 40-person security team, a yacht with a missile detection system and he’s single! Did I mention the yacht also has a laser shield? Now I did! Yeah I’m using a lot of exclamation points because he’s the #1 JDILF bad boy, what with arrests and allegations as long as his lovely long arms. Hells bells–his eyes are the color of whatever sea he’s sailing on. Who wouldn’t want to take a Roman holiday with this smoking hot real-life Bond super villian? Rowr!

2. Mike D

Beastie Boys. Genius. Two kids. Supports his director wife’s cooking for kids show. Debated semantics of Illin’ on Stephen Colbert recently. No debate about how hot he is. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Dads, dude week, featured, men