Being a dude is hard. You’ve got a family to support, your extra height means you’re always being asked to reach for things in high places, and sometimes it feels like no matter how much you do for everyone it’s never enough. Here are a few small things you can do for free and in less than 30 minutes that will get you all the appreciation you’ve been missing.
1. Have More Sex. (Sorry, you’ll have to clean first.) Studies have shown that men who do more domestic work like cleaning, laundry, etc. have more active sex lives. So next time you find yourself with an extra twenty minutes, find something dirty and clean it.
2. Finally get rid of that old leather blazer/yellow fleece/tie from your ex-girlfriend. Every dude has something in his closet he knows his partner loathes. Chances are, her taste is better than yours, so do yourselves both a favor and get rid of the relics from your heavy metal hair band phase or at least let the kids turn them into costumes.
3. Offer a surprise foot massage. Massaging a foot doesn’t take any real talent or skill, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome (especially for women that are always on their feet or in heels or both). So next time you’re sitting on the couch, watching TV, offer to relieve your lady’s tired soles with a good old-fashioned foot rub. All it takes is ten minutes to be the night’s hero.
4. Use your kids and their art supplies to make Mom a present. As much as we love getting jewelry (seriously, we love jewelry), giving it all the time can get expensive. So grab the kids, find some craft supplies you’ve already bought, and make something special for Mom. But also keep buying her jewelry.
5. Stand up for her (and your) legal rights. Your partner’s fertility is your fertility, and if the government is controlling her access to birth control, it is also dictating when you can and cannot get laid. So sign a petition, make a donation, or just speak your mind next time the issue comes up.
6. Write your own Eshet Hayil. The tradition of singing your wife’s praises at the Shabbat dinner table is an old favorite, but the lyrics are a bit outdated. (I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had a maidservant in years.) Compose your own ode to the woman who “arises while it is still night” and whose “value is far beyond pearls.” Bonus points if you give it a tune and get your kids to sing it with you.
7. Read Kveller! Okay, yes, this one is a little self-serving on our part, but hear us out. It might not be you doing the breastfeeding or throwing the baby showers, but it wouldn’t hurt to learn the lingo. And besides, who doesn’t want to learn to make orange popcorn?