Dec 19 2014
Years ago I told my husband that if he expected me to give up cheeseburgers and shrimp cocktail for bagel brunches and heavily salted meats, I was going to need some backup. Though I was raised in a conservative Jewish home in Allentown, PA, my ideas of Judaism were mixed up with my ideas of a social life, which is to say that the boys I liked were decidedly not Jewish.
I made Christmas cookies one year with a junior high school boyfriend’s mother, flinging the dough around his dressed-up-for-the-holiday home when I accidentally lifted the hand mixer out of the bowl, probably gesturing in some handsy Jewish way. Read the rest of this entry →
Aug 23 2013
My daughter has jeans that fit… but I don’t.
We’ve been following along with Emily on her path to becoming a single mother by choice. Her daughter is now 6 weeks old.
Today I went shopping at Destination Maternity–again.
No, you didn’t read that wrong. Yes, I had my wonderful little baby girl six weeks ago. We’re having a great time getting to know one another. She is smiley, wiggly, and wonderful. She even sleeps for long chunks of time at night–knock on wood! But, she left me with a very stretched out uterus. In fact, my OB recently told me that I still have a 10 week sized uterus.
Big deal, so does Kate Middleton and she’s being photographed by paparazzi every day. Still, there is one thing that Kate and I don’t have in common. OK, fine, more than one thing! But, there is one difference that makes my experience of this still-pregnant-looking-body a more serious matter. I’m single. Read the rest of this entry →
May 2 2013
We’ve been following along with Emily on her path to becoming a single mother by choice. She is now 32 weeks pregnant.
For most of my life, I have had a strong attraction to men who could be described as wiry, nerdy types. I dated lots of guys who wore smaller jeans than I did and it might have seemed that spectacles were a requirement for the men I chose. In fact, at one point, when my sister and I were playing Hodel and Tzeitel in a regional production of Fiddler on the Roof, she joked that I had taken my search for a modern day Motel the Tailor a little too far! Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 24 2013
When we last heard from her in October, Emily decided to go with IVF to become a single mother by choice. Today, we have an exciting update.
If you have spent any time on Jdate–or any other dating site, for that matter–you know that there are lots of checkboxes. You can check off that you are single, separated, divorced, or widowed. You can check a box that says you have children, or that you don’t. You can even identify if you want children or not. Recently, however, I have noticed that Jdate lacks a checkbox for expectant-single-mother-by-choice-still-actively-seeking-the-love-of-her-life. So, what’s a girl to do in the absence of such a perfect checkbox? Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 17 2013
I’m standing at the kitchen sink when my eldest walks past me to the table to pack her lunch.
“What’s all over your pants?”
“Did you rip them?!”
“No, they came like that. It’s a style.” She pauses for effect. “And they’re not my pants. And you said I looked cute in them.”
Now I’m distressed. I look more closely at her pants. They are black jeans, ripped and frayed on both legs. I hadn’t noticed that–looking up from the bottom of the stairs–when I’d complimented her.
“Are you wearing [boyfriend name]‘s pants?!” Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 16 2013
“My son David? He only likes WHITE PIZZA,” the mother said, highlighting the words with the tips of her fingers. “You know, the kind with NO SAUCE.”
These are the words of a mother of a child, David [name changed], with whom my son, now in second grade, went to nursery school. David’s mom said them to the teacher–and about 20 sets of parents in the room–at Back to School night at the nursery school, at the point at which the teacher asked, “Are there any questions?”
You may have noticed that David’s mom’s question wasn’t actually a question. It was more of a proclamation, made in response to the teacher’s having mentioned that the kids would celebrate Shabbat with pizza brought in for the class. It was a proclamation that David had very definite tastes–and that those tastes shouldn’t be challenged. It was a Marie Antoinette-like statement for our age: instead of “Let Them Eat Cake,” it was “Let Them Eat White Pizza (Because That’s What David Likes!).” Read the rest of this entry →
Oct 16 2012
Over the past few weeks, Emily has been chronicling her journey about deciding to become a single mother by choice. Today she talks about what this means for her dating life.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the dating implications of becoming a single mother by choice.
It has always been my dream to find a wonderful man, fall in love, get married, buy a charming colonial in the suburbs, and make a bunch of babies. As you know if you’ve been reading this blog, things haven’t taken that path for me. I’m 37, single, and trying to become a mother. Read the rest of this entry →
Jun 19 2012
So my husband sounds like Radiohead. Big deal.
So, it turns out I am a very jealous woman.
Case in point:
Once upon a star-studded night in Berkeley, just a few short months after we first hooked up, B and I sat on the stoop of my boarding house next to some girl from the neighborhood. And while we smoked our American Spirits, the conversation turned to music. OK, full disclosure time: I don’t like Radiohead. But B did. And so did this girl, apparently, because she went on and on and on about how ah-may-zing Thom Yorke is and how B’s band’s recent single “reached her” (gag) in the same way that the song, Creep, did when she was in high school.
(Vomit.) Read the rest of this entry →
May 1 2012
If you grew up with a Jewish mother, chances are, at some point or another, she wanted to know how your love life was going. And she may have even shared an opinion or two on just what kind of person you should be dating. And when you’ll be getting married. And when you’ll be finally giving her grandchildren.
Today, the world of finding a match has the added bonus (or nightmare, you decide) of online dating. And while many Jews turn to certain websites where they can meet other Jews, online dating is still online dating, and for the most part, it can get ugly out there.
That brings us to TheJMom. TheJMom.com is a new dating website that, like JDate, is geared for Jewish Americans, but unlike any other dating site, it puts the ball in the dater’s mom’s court. That’s right. Moms create profiles for their sons and daughters, and then interact with other mothers who are looking to set up their children. We sat down with Danielle and Brad Weisberg, the brother and sister team who started TheJMom, as well as their mother, Barbara, to talk about why JDate isn’t enough, the potential downfalls of letting your mother choose your profile picture, and the age old question: Do Jewish moms really know best?
What was the initial impetus for starting the site?
Danielle: We launched TheJMom in 2010, but the story begins a year earlier. We both were on JDate and our mother had asked numerous times to look at Brad’s online dating profile and search the site to see if she could find the perfect girl for him. Brad finally gave in and let her go to town, searching the site as she pleased. Read the rest of this entry →
Mar 13 2012
It’s Dude Week here at Kveller, which gives me the perfect opportunity to ask a question that has been bothering me for years now.
Where are all the single Jewish men?
You may think that Kveller isn’t necessarily the right forum for such a question, seeing as how we tend to be more play-date than J-Date around here. But as long as we’ve got the men’s attention this week, I have to ask, where are all of your single buddies? (Please don’t say Israel–nothing against the homeland, but we were hoping for a distinctly American answer in this case.) Read the rest of this entry →