Feb 4 2013
Yes, I talk about my kids on Facebook, and occasionally may brag about them. Deal with it.
No one should have to, though, according to many, most recently Bruce Feiler at the New York Times who recently wrote, “What subject could possibly be so clear-cut it has elicited once-in-a-generation unanimity? That parents should stop bragging about their children.”
Well, consider that unanimity destroyed. Read the rest of this entry →
Dec 26 2012
I am that mom.
If you have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or a blog, you know the kind of mom I’m talking about. The one whose posts constantly contain some halfway funny anecdote about her children. Whose photo albums are so filled up with pictures of a day-by-day documentation of their little ones that you have to scroll through 100 different images of Junior covered in food to find one of her. Status updates, links to news stories, pictures of messy faces, smiling faces, crying faces, all of it stares out at you from your newsfeed as one giant example of what is annoying and over the top.
Yep. That’s me. Annoying and over the top. Read the rest of this entry →
Dec 18 2012
I have lost a couple of friends over my conversion to Judaism.
At least, it seems to be the reason after I mentioned in passing that my husband and I were going to start conversion classes. The next thing I know, none of my repeated phone calls get returned and they are no longer my friends on Facebook. No other reason could possibly make sense, because we hadn’t had a fight or falling out.
The other most common reaction when people learn I’m converting to Judaism is to invite me to a Christian bible study. Now, this reaction may be more common here in the Bible Belt, but it still strikes me as odd. Read the rest of this entry →
Nov 29 2012
We truly are an entitlement-driven culture.
I’m not talking about welfare or tax breaks–I’m talking about people feeling entitled to KNOW things they have no business knowing. I could blame it on the internet, or too much information, or Facebook for encouraging over-sharing. Truthfully, though, this sort of butting in happened waaaay before the internet age made everyone experts on any number of things, including medicine, politics, and entertainment. My favorite examples, though, involve knowing (and judging) someone else’s childbearing decisions. Read the rest of this entry →
Oct 5 2012
Two of Alina's kids (on the outside) with a friend in the middle.
I really enjoyed (and appreciated) Erika K. Davis’ piece: Do You Talk to Your Kids About Race.
I was all set to answer her question with delightful and pithy anecdotes about how we do things in our interracial, interfaith and intercultural household (dad: African-American, mom: Soviet-born Jew, three kids: all of the above), when my eyes fell on some of the comments both on the original article, and the Kveller Facebook page:
I am not sure that it’s necessary to have a specific talk about race unless your child brings it up or encounters or observes some type of racist behavior….
Yes, but not unless it brings itself up naturally. There’s no reason to address it otherwise…
It should be a non-conversation….
Kids don’t notice it until you tell them about it…
First of all, the latter comment is blatantly untrue. Read the rest of this entry →
Jul 11 2012
A few months ago, our own Mayim Bialik decided that it was time to pullback on Facebook. It got me thinking about my own social media habits and if I was revealing too much online about my family. Read about it here in my latest column for the Forward.
A few hours after my daughter was born, she made her big debut on Facebook. My husband posted a photo of her, wrapped in the hospital-issued blanket, with the message: “Exhausted but now the father of this little girl. Her name is Mika (that’s Mee-ka), born last night around three in the morning.”
In a matter of minutes, 44 people commented on the photo and five others “liked it.” In the following days he posted dozens more, encouraged by all the support and affection. Also, we liked posting photos and updates because it felt nice to have our child adored by others, not just us.
More than two and a half years have passed since her birth, and Mika has already had quite a public life. In addition to Facebook, Mika has been the subject of blog posts on things like breastfeeding, teething, co-sleeping and more. This has a lot to do with the fact that I, her mother, am the editor of a Jewish parenting website, Kveller.com, that traffics in these sorts of parenting conundrums.
Read the rest of the article here, and feel free to chime in about where you draw the line.
Jun 22 2012
My life is so public (you saw my birth photos yesterday, right?), my friends don’t even bother calling me anymore.
Many of us at Kveller admit to oversharing and I’ve definitely done my fair share of it, both here and on Twitter/Facebook. I post pictures of our family and my status updates reflect funny things my husband says or anecdotes about parenthood. If you are friends with me you probably know we have a taco party once a week and that my 2-year-old put his mouth on the rim of our toilet last week. When I typed that status I didn’t think to myself, “Will this embarrass him in 10 years?” But a recent article in The Wall Street Journal made me wonder if sharing details about my family on the internet could be a problem later in life, or even a threat to our safety. Read the rest of this entry →
May 25 2012
Yesterday, Mayim told us that she was taking a break from Facebook because of all the negative comments she has to deal with. Today, Jordana Horn pleads with her to rethink that decision:
And I do mean “dear”! I’ve interviewed you, I’ve argued with you, and I’ve learned from you. It’s a great honor being a Kveller contributing editor with you.
You are an awesome person. I’d go so far as to call you an aishet chayil–and have actually done so in print–which means a woman of valor, whose value is beyond rubies. We don’t agree on a lot, but you are a deep, kind, intelligent and thoughtful person and I feel so grateful and fortunate for our friendship. Read the rest of this entry →
Apr 19 2012
Your baby can have this onesie too at uncommonlycute.com
Don’t put your baby on Facebook!
Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. But Wall Street Journal writer Janet Paskin isn’t refraining from posting the cute baby pictures out of fear that she’s compromising her kid’s digital security. Rather, Paskin writes, “I worried that, by publically [sic] donning my mom-hat, I might be hurting myself.” In other words, keeping baby off of Facebook isn’t for his or her own good–it’s for yours.
Paskin writes that she’d rather not post pictures or items about her baby on Facebook because “women with children fare worse, professionally and financially, than women without. Moms face more difficulty getting hired and earn less than their childless peers. It’s worse for new, breastfeeding moms, who are judged to be less competent and less likely to be hired than bottle-feeding moms and who suffer more severe and prolonged earnings loss. Even controlling for all the extenuating circumstances that make salary comparisons really hard, the evidence seems pretty conclusive: Moms earn less, and have less success, than women without children.”
Clearly, I disagree with this completely. Frankly, I’m not even sure where to begin. Of course, I take issue with the underlying premises that mothers are somehow crappier workers–if anything, mothers are perhaps the most kickass multitaskers in the universe. The breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding mom hiring stats are almost too stupid to mention.
But I am particularly offended by the idea that in order to succeed in the workplace, I would need to hide who I am. Read the rest of this entry →
Mar 21 2012
Have you ever been bullied on the Internet? Thanks to a discussion about the horrible murders in Toulouse, I have.
I’m a journalist and writer, and my work often attracts comments online. Those comments are not always nice and fuzzy. But Facebook feels somehow more intimate, though, than comments after an article. I’d always thought that “friending” someone meant a sort of tacit agreement to have discourse in a way that could be acrimonious, but would always be mutually respectful. After all, according to Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers)–”Your friend’s dignity should be as precious to you as your own.”
I was very, very wrong. Read the rest of this entry →