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Nov 4 2014

How I Taught My Son to Fail

By at 9:53 am

Teaching My Son to Fail

This past summer, I taught my child to fail.

This must defy some canon of parenthood, which compels us to equip our children with all the things they need to succeed.

But by summer’s end, my husband and I had exhausted our bag of tricks (and our patience) trying to teach almost-6-year old Emmet to ride his two-wheel bike: the same bike from which he had begged us to remove the training wheels, after watching a younger neighbor zipping around on two wheels.

At first, we tried balancing him on the bike without pedaling, so that he could feel the sensation of instability. Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 23 2013

I’d Rather Make My Husband Happy Than My Kids

By at 3:42 pm
silhouette illustration long hair

Long hair he wants? Long hair he gets.

I’ve suspected it for a while now, but it didn’t hit me–in concrete words–until the other day: I’d rather make my husband happy than my kids.

I do all sorts of things to make my husband happy.

He likes my hair long, so I keep it long. (Even though it’s a pain to maintain and, in the summertime, hot and sticky, as well.)

You know how they say that women dress for other women? So, so not true in my case. I could not care less about clothes or fashion. (If you don’t believe me, ask my mother. She begs to take me shopping so I might update the wardrobe I haven’t changed since roughly the late 1990s.) I dress exclusively for my husband. He likes to see me in long skirts and tight-fitting and/or cleavage baring tops. So I try to wear long skirts and tight-fitting and/or cleavage baring tops. When appropriate. I obviously don’t wear those to work. To work, I wear clothes from roughly the late 1990s.

For dinner, I try to cook what he likes to eat. (Though not everything he likes to eat. I am still worried about his weight.) Read the rest of this entry →

Nov 12 2012

Don’t Do Your Kids’ Homework

By at 11:55 am

colored pencilsThough our kids typically take the bus to school, not long ago I was one of the many 4th grade parents on the elementary school campus.

Parental chauffeuring was necessary in order to safely transport book projects from home to school. As I walked down the hallway, I was treated to an eyeful of lovely, highly-decorated, well-designed dioramas. Sophisticated and polished. Ones that looked NOTHING like the one Lilly had made. Read the rest of this entry →

May 30 2012

Breaking My Child’s Arm, and Other Parenting Fails

By at 10:22 am

boy with broken arm in castWhile I wrote about the multitude of ways I’ve failed professionally, and how I make a point of telling my children all about it and even encouraging them to fail, as well, I realized, after the fact, that one area of failure I’d managed to leave out (consciously? Unconsciously?) was my parenting failures.

Let’s rectify that right now, shall we?

When my oldest son was 4 years old, he got into the habit of shrieking everything. This, as you may imagine, was not pleasant. My husband and I told him to pipe down and, when that didn’t work, we yelled for him to pipe down. (Yes, I can see the irony now. But, when you’re in the moment, it seems to make perfect sense.) He didn’t. So we yelled at him some more. Read the rest of this entry →

May 14 2012

I’m a Failure… and So Are My Kids!

By at 2:47 pm

failed stampI didn’t sell any books last week. This may not seem like such a big deal. Except for the fact that I’ve pretty much bet the house and staked my reputation as a writer on the brand new, as yet untested notion that readers are ready for enhanced ebooks, i.e. my previously published novels “pimped out” with video, audio, and other multimedia features. Guess not.

In addition, a magazine pitch of mine was rejected as being too much like something they’d just assigned to someone else, while a completed piece was more or less re-written prior to publication.

I can’t wait to tell my kids about it. Read the rest of this entry →

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