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Sep 10 2013

Will Your Only Child Turn Out OK? Don’t Ask Me!

By at 1:17 pm

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The other day, I was chatting with a mom friend of mine who has a baby a little younger than my 9-month-old. (We’ll call this baby B… ya know… for “Baby.”) After a lengthy chat about which solids we’re feeding our babies (we’re still doing fruits, veggies, grains, and she’s trying baby led weaning), she gave me an apologetic look and said:

“I think we’ve decided that B is going to be an only child.”

I wasn’t sure how she wanted me to react. It’s up to everyone to decide (with their partner) how many children they would like to have. Sure, sometimes life throws a curve ball with multiples, “accidents,” or fertility issues. So, I was happy that she and her husband came to a consensus together that they wanted baby B to be an only child. But the fact that she was looking at me with almost a disappointed look on her face left me confused. Read the rest of this entry →

Aug 27 2013

Will I Have Another Baby in 5774?

By at 9:59 am

question mark with baby feetTo have another or not to have another? That is the question. That is what I am thinking about as Rosh Hashanah approaches. Not about apples and honey and atoning for all my lashon hara the past year, but is it time to have another baby?

Thankfully, I got knocked up easily the first time around. I don’t take it for granted that at 33 I became pregnant our second month of trying. Isn’t it ironic how much of our 20s we try NOT to get pregnant? Then when we start trying in our thirties, it’s not quite as easy as my high school health teacher made it seem. I remember Mr. Putnam saying if there was any semen within five feet of your vagina, there was a chance you could get pregnant. If we do have another one, I pray that it is as easy to get pregnant the second time around.  Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 17 2013

How Meditation Helped Me Decide Whether I Should Have Another Child

By at 9:45 am

carla naumburg two girlsJust over a year ago, I wrote about my ambivalence about having a third child. In that post, I said that we had always wanted a big family, but after having two kids in less than two years, we were exhausted and not so sure. I also said that I hoped we would make a decision by the time our younger daughter turned 2.

We celebrated her 3rd birthday almost two weeks ago.

I think we may have come to a decision last week. Maybe. Probably. I’m pretty sure.

I’ve spent the past year angsting about this situation. I felt my biological clock was ticking away, albeit increasingly slowly as the months went by. I longed to be like my friends who just decided to “pull the goalie” (that’s hipster lingo for ditching the birth control, in case you were wondering) and let nature take its course. Although nature has not been on our side when it comes to reproduction, science has. I knew that having a third child would require more than a nice bottle of wine and a babysitter. We would need doctor’s appointments, consultations, and insurance approvals if we wanted to expand our family.

It would require an active decision on our part to make the leap. Again. And we just weren’t sure. Read the rest of this entry →

May 9 2013

No Matter How Many Kids You Have, You’ll Be Stressed

By at 4:14 pm

three kids in car“Apparently I picked the wrong number of kids to have,” a friend and mother of three kids posted on my Facebook wall the other day. “Maybe you are onto something?”

She–and every other mom of three kids I know–was referencing the recent survey by TODAY Moms (full disclosure, for which I’m a contributor). The survey came up with the unexpected finding that the moms who have it hardest are moms of three kids:

Mothers of three children stress more than moms of one or two, while mothers of four or more children actually report lower stress levels, according to an exclusive TODAYMoms.com survey of more than 7,000 U.S.mothers released Monday. Call it the Duggar effect: Once you get a certain critical mass of kids, life seems to get a bit easier.

Let me let you in on a secret that you probably already know: this is bullshit. Sorry. But here are the reasons: Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 31 2012

Where Will This Baby Sleep?

By at 9:35 am

three car seatsOne night, my husband, Heath, and I talked about how the pace of life with two kids would be easier than three. We noted how cramped our bed becomes with two extra little people in it on Sunday mornings. Where would a third go?

I had just read a New York Times article about preserving the environment by having no more kids than would outnumber the parents in order to maintain, instead of increase, the carbon footprint. I thought it was a very solid argument. It helped to justify our satisfaction with two kids. Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 17 2012

Is My Middle Child Doomed?

By at 1:37 pm

three kidsReading Jeffrey Kluger’s fascinating book, The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us, I learned that “Schoolhouse Rock” may have lied to me.

Three may well not be a magic number.

In fact, when it comes to the ideal number of children per family, three might possibly be the very worst one. (Fun fact: I have three kids! I would go for four, but my husband has informed me that while I may have as many children as I see fit, he’s never changing another diaper again. I am to do with that information what I will.) Read the rest of this entry →

May 10 2012

Top Things People Say When Told I’m Having My Fourth (!) Kid

By at 9:38 am
minivan

Ain't. Gonna. Happen.

Yes, that’s right, boys and girls! I am thrilled to report that I’m pregnant and we will be having a new Kveller blog subject little girl, all going well (pu pu pu) in October, who will with great fanfare join her older two brothers and sister. I feel unbelievably grateful–having met and married each other late in life, my husband Jon and I are making up for lost time as quickly as we can.

When I told my two boys that we were going to have another baby, they were incredibly excited: “Now we EACH get to have our own baby!” Yes, boys, that’s why we did it, so that now, you will each get to have your own baby. Just think–in some families, kids get hamsters. Read the rest of this entry →

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