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Dec 18 2014

I Married a Man Named Christmas

By at 9:24 am

I Married a Man Named Christmas

I would have liked to marry a Jewish man, but obviously not enough to make sure it happened. But why, out of all the men I could have picked in this great big world, why did I have to fall in love with a man with a preposterously non-Jewish name? As my mother said, “If you had to marry a non-Jew, couldn’t you at least have found one with a last name like Smith or Harris? Did it have to be Christmas?”

I ask myself the same thing.   Read the rest of this entry →

Dec 11 2014

The 8 Weirdest Things People Say to Women Pregnant with Twins

By at 9:47 am

pregnant with twins

You’d think people would be used to the idea of twins by now, but pretty much every time I tell someone I’m carrying multiples, the news is met with something along the lines of “Holy crap!” In fact, I’ve had some pretty interesting reactions from friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers along the way–some helpful and encouraging, others not so much. And so I’ve decided to share some of the most memorable lines I’ve heard so far–along with my thoughts on the matter. (Warning: sarcasm imminent.)

1. “Huh? How’d that happen?”

Are you asking me to explain the biology behind multiple gestations? Or are you asking a prying, invasive question you have no right to be asking? If it’s the former, I can refer you to a number of internet sites that explain the phenomenon quite well. And if it’s the latter, please reexamine the concept of personal boundaries and consider withdrawing your inquiry.

2. “So did you plan for that to happen?”

Um, is it even possible to plan to have twins? Isn’t that kind of like asking someone whether she planned to have a boy versus a girl? Read the rest of this entry →

Aug 5 2014

“Apparently Kid” is (Apparently) Having the Best Day of his Life

By at 1:04 pm

noah_ritter

Here’s one kid that doesn’t take anything at face value.

Noah Ritter was (apparently) just minding his own business at the Wayne County Fair in Pennsylvania when (apparently) a local television reporter approached him to get his review of the rides. Though (apparently) it was the young fairgoer’s first time on live television, he managed to steal the show and (apparently) the internet’s collective heart.

WATCH: Read the rest of this entry →

Aug 4 2014

I’m the Comedian, So Why Will My Daughter Only Laugh for Her Dad?

By at 9:52 am

laughing-girl

The instant my husband walks in the door, giggles fill the room from our 20-month-old daughter.

It is the most beautiful sound a mother could hear. It is also the most jealousy-inducing sound a comedian could hear.

As a mother and a comedian (momedian?), I often find myself feeling this strange mix of emotions. I want my daughter to laugh, but I want to be the reason she’s laughing. Read the rest of this entry →

Aug 5 2013

Wolverine: A Film by Woody Allen

By at 11:34 am

Thank you to the group Official Comedy for making this amazing parody of what the X-Men movie Wolverine would be like if Woody Allen directed and starred in it. Neuroses, awkward romances, and Jewish jokes–“Try being a mutant Jew–nobody hates me more than myself, which I guess is like a normal Jew, but you get what I mean”–ensue.

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