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Apr 23 2013

I Have No Idea What Happens Next

By at 9:54 am

uncertainty ahead signI have “control issues.” Anyone who has spent an hour with me knows this, and loves and respects me because or despite it. It’s what makes me good at my job as a festival director. It keeps our domestic life running on track. I have learned to embrace this part of my personality, to work with it.

I used to create “18-month plans.” And yet, today I can’t see even three months into the future.

My husband is in the last weeks of his PhD, with no offers yet for the fall. And I have no idea what comes next. Read the rest of this entry →

Dec 12 2011

How I Almost (Sorta, Kinda) Lost My Eyes and Peeked into the Future

By at 4:06 pm

“People often get scared when they hear the word ‘glaucoma,’” the woman on the video at the doctor’s office said knowingly.

Um, yeah. That’s because it’s REALLY FREAKING SCARY, I thought, trying my best not to throw up in the examination chair out of panic and fear.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let it be known that as a general rule, I’m not afraid of pulling the “doctor” trigger when it comes to the kids. I generally err on the side of caution. Baby G’s bellybutton looks a little weird in a way I can’t possibly describe? Off we go to the pediatrician (bellybutton diagnosis negative).  R’s balance looks a little off? Let’s go to the ENT and the orthopedist and check it out (and find out he needs to get ear tubes, yet the fact that he doesn’t listen has no medical explanation).

But when it comes to my own health, I’m not so quick to make myself a doctor’s appointment. It’s possible that that is rooted in some weirdly wrong idea that the parent is supposed to be the healthy one and have no problems. And ideally, that would be the case. Read the rest of this entry →

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