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Jul 30 2013

Some Parents Don’t Need Jewish Day School, But I’m Not One of Them

By at 9:55 am

hebrew letters on notebookI read Jordana Horn’s piece in the Jewish Daily Forward about “Jewish Homeschooling” as an alternative to Jewish Day School with great interest. In it, Jordana states, “I’m not against day school, per se. I just don’t think that day school is essential in order to raise children who are Jewish and proud to be Jewish.”

Of course she’s right. Committed parents don’t need day school to make Judaism a joyful and central part of family life, as Jordana suggests in her piece. She also briefly acknowledges that parents who don’t feel Jewishly educated enough can avail themselves of books, online resources, and synagogue communities.

This is where things get a little tricky for me.  Read the rest of this entry →

Jun 24 2013

I Cheated My Sons Out of a Jewish Education

By at 5:04 pm

empty classroomMy oldest son graduated from the 8th grade last week. His father and I picked this particular school for its academic rigor. By the time his nine years there were up, my son had visited England, passed Algebra 2, read Virgil (in Latin), played Katherine in a full staging of Shakespeare’s Henry V, and drawn a map of Europe freehand, including mountain ranges and bodies of water, with only the latitude and longitude as guidelines.

We were ecstatic about his education and how well it prepared him for the future.

Though the school is ostensibly non-denominational, their crest does feature a cross. When my son inquired about it, he was informed that the cross represents all religions. (He thus proceeded to refer to it as The Cross of All Religions for the past several years. It was funny the first time. Not so much the 74th.) Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 7 2013

Ban the Bar Mitzvah: A Rabbinical Student Rethinks The Time Honored Ceremony

By at 12:21 pm

As a rabbinical student, I know that one day I will have to tutor your kid for a bar or bat mitzvah. But guess what: I don’t want to.

Don’t get me wrong, because I love kids. Especially during holidays. There’s nothing more fun than watching kids beat each other at dreidel, or get their hands all gross from honey on Rosh Hashanah and chase after one another. That’s good stuff. The bnei mitzvah? Not really worth anyone’s time or money: and there are four big reasons why. Read the rest of this entry →

Oct 18 2010

Too Young For Torah?

By at 7:24 am

My daughter turned 2 last week (yay!), and I’m wondering if perhaps I’ve been jumping the gun a bit with her Jewish education.

In general, in parenting, I tend to have a “less is more” approach. Not when it comes to the things that really matter–eye contact, loving touch, focused attention–these I try to provide with few limits. But when it comes to activities, I prefer letting my daughter learn about the world by grocery shopping with me, rather than attending the myriad of toddler classes offered in my neighborhood. And when it comes to toys, homemade and simple usually win in my book. (Some call it “slow parenting, ” some call it lazy or cheap, both might be right…)

And yet, very much not in keeping with this approach, I find myself shlepping my little gal to Tot Shabbat every Saturday and to a Jewish music class every Friday–where the parents sing their hearts out while the toddlers do what toddlers do. My particular toddler is pretty timid in groups, and generally she sits at these events completely still, playing the part of the perfect student. But I know she’s really frozen in fear.

At home, she happily sings the songs from these events. So I can see she’s learning. Great! Jewish education has begun!  But in all honesty, she’s just parroting a bunch of Hebrew words she’s heard over and over, with little understanding. Am I rushing things? She has so many years ahead of her for formal education–maybe a wiser mother would opt out of Tot Shabbat and just stay at the playground. Give her time.

I take seriously the idea of fostering my child’s religious and spiritual development, so I’m genuinely uncertain here. I can attest that she is genuinely captivated with at-home Jewish rituals: Putting money in the tzedakah box, lighting Shabbat candles, making havdalah. Maybe now’s the time for her Jewish life to be just in the familiar comfort of home, connected to activities that bring her closer to her parents and loved ones. And, even more challenging, maybe now’s the time for me to nourish my own religious and spiritual development, so that when my daughter is older and more ready, I’ll be able to offer her something more real and sophisticated than the classic Dinosaur Shabbat Song


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