Feb 2 2012
Is my stroller good enough for you?
Renee Septimus’ article “Enough Already with the Mommy Wars” about the battle between stay-at-home and work-outside-the-home moms (because we are all working moms) got me thinking about judgment. It makes me cringe to think of how critical moms can be of one another’s career choices, and it extends beyond paychecks. If you don’t have the right car seat/stroller/enrichment class, other moms might smile (out of sympathy?) to your face and then badmouth you to anyone who will listen.
My answer to, “What do you do?” is, “As much as I can.” My first job and priority is SAHM. After that, I am a freelance journalist, and I teach group cycling classes at local gyms. I work when my daughter sleeps or is at preschool. When she is around, she has my (mostly) undivided attention. Read the rest of this entry →
Nov 21 2011
I took my little one to get his hair cut last week. I wanted so badly to wait until his third birthday for an upsherin but having him mistaken for a girl (or worse – Justin Bieber) was starting to get to my husband. I cannot fathom a day when the clippers come out to buzz my little boy, but a trim was in order. Once he was done, I plopped him in the stroller and headed to the desk. A middle-aged woman sitting in the waiting area looked down at him and said, “Did this little boy just get a haircut? It must have been really long, because it’s still kind of… long.”
I chose to ignore the comment but watched as she surveyed him from his hair all the way down his body. Her eyes widened in horror once she reached his dangling feet.
“I’m not a neglectful mother if that’s what you’re thinking,” I said. “He just refuses to wear shoes right now.”
She gasped. “Well, (harumph!) At least the boy has socks on. I see these mothers running around in the cold all bundled up while their poor baby has bare toes.”
I thought about keeping my mouth shut and quietly leaving. Clearly this lady needed to be punched was a barrel of fun, but I added this before walking out: Read the rest of this entry →
Aug 2 2011
Christina Applegate made a video about prenatal pole dancing.
A few years back when I was working as a freelancer, I took an assignment offered to me by the New York Post‘s Page Six Magazine. I will justify writing for them this way: $2 per word. The article I was asked to write was about the crazy things that a certain set of Manhattan ladies do to avoid getting fat while pregnant. At the time I was in my late 20s and the idea of pregnancy was about as foreign as say, exotic dancing. And here’s where these two seemingly disparate things overlap.
I managed to find a sweet, unsuspecting pregnant lady who was pole dancing while the fetus inside her was growing. I was invited to the class though I was told there was no watching. Only participating. So, there I was, in the basement of a synagogue where the studio had set up their overflow class (this is weird, I know, and what must the rabbi think?) watching a woman eight months pregnant swing around a pole in sweaty darkness to Prince’s “Sexy M.F.”
Needless to say, she was an easy target. A pregnant woman! Being sexy! Dancing around a pole! The gall! I wrote the piece and the tone was nothing short of nasty. And the editors (always blame the editors!) made it all the nastier. And when the piece came out I felt bad. Very bad. And then several years later when I was pregnant, I felt like a big old jerk. Who was I to judge?
I think about this a lot these days. In the world of mommying it seems there’s a whole lot of judging going around. And I just sometimes think that everybody should just take a big breath and mind their own business.
So, the next time you see a pole dancing pregnant lady, just remember that.
May 4 2011
Our resident grandmother blogger, Renee Septimus, likes to take on controversial topics: Breastfeeding, cell phones, and now, sleep. When she posted yesterday that letting babies cry it out was a form of cruelty, we were surprised to see the strong show of support she got from Kveller readers (more than 100 Facebook likes!). Parents piled on with support in the comments section citing that “extended crying in infants causes brain damage.” Brain damage!
That’s a lot of judgment to heap on parents who have found that this method works for their families. When we reached out to bloggers to see if they wanted to respond, one woman said she wanted to but didn’t feel ready to talk publicly about her sleep choices. “Sleep has become more private than breastfeeding,” she said.
Then the responses started flowing in. So, today, we are publishing two posts by women who disagree with Renee. As always, we here at Kveller think the most important thing is to support parents in their choices (unless said parents are doing really bad things like feeding their kids Twinkies all day long).