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Apr 7 2014

What’s Your Exodus: Breaking Free from Hiding My Same-Sex Marriage & More Reader Responses

By at 3:37 pm

As Passover approaches, we asked our readers and writers: What do you need an exodus from? Today we hear from four Kveller readers as part of our “What’s Your Exodus?” series. 

From Rita Collins:

"what's your exodus?"

I think twice about telling co-workers or customers that I’m married to a person of the same sex when I meet them. When they talk freely about their spouses of the opposite sex sometimes I feel like I’m shackled by fear of their reaction, especially if they are very religious (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise). I need an exodus from my own self-conscious embarrassment that is only brought on by me. Some will support and some will treat me with disdain, but that isn’t the fear I need to be free from…it is the fear that the ones who treat me with disdain are right. I need to love openly with a full heart and know that they are wrong and then it won’t matter to me what they or anyone thinks. I’m a woman, and I love my wife and I love our children. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 30 2014

The Calm Before the Same-Sex Parenting Storm

By at 11:52 am

clock

My wife and I are planning to start trying to conceive in March, and suddenly, two months or less out, I find myself trying to freeze time. I don’t mean feeling immobilized or freaking out and not wanting that time to come. I mean that I am living in and enjoying every moment until then.

I’ve spent the past couple years agonizing over when we could have a baby. Not every second, of course. We were occupied with house-hunting, moving in and settling in, my conversion to Judaism. A lot of wonderful things have been happening, and we’ve had a great first couple of years of marriage. But I’ve also been acutely aware throughout of our financial struggles and goals as well as the complicated and expensive process of family-building for us as a same-sex couple, and that’s kept conception always just past the horizon. Now we have a realistic time frame and it’s right around the corner!

A first consultation and then following up on some initial fertility issues kept us busy and distracted throughout late fall and early winter. Now we’re just kind of…waiting. Waiting to get a little more money for this very expensive process so we don’t have to dip into savings or charge it or go on a payment plan. Waiting for our upcoming mandatory counseling session so we can be approved to order sperm.

And in the meantime, I am reveling in the smallest, sweetest details of domestic marital bliss. Read the rest of this entry →

Mar 7 2013

Returning to the Mikveh After Giving Birth

By at 11:55 am

mikveh jewish ritual bathOnce a month when I was kid, I would watch my mother remove her nail polish, gather her small bag, and head out from home in our station wagon after dinner. We always knew where she was going.

Even though the ritual immersion (mikveh) traditional Jewish women do monthly is done at night and is considered a private affair, my brothers and I were pretty nosy, we lived in a small house, and my parents were very open. That and coming home from an appointment with wet hair at 9 or 10 p.m. was certain to elicit questions from little children. She always spoke about this time in the ritual bath so beautifully–the warm waters, the time alone, the space to think and feel whatever she did without the voice of my dad, her co-workers, or her children in her head. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 16 2013

We Proudly Present: The Purim Superhero

By at 9:50 am

the purim superhero

As you may have guessed, we’re huge fans of Jewish children’s books, which is why we were very excited to co-sponsor the launch of The Purim Superhero, the first LGBT-inclusive Jewish children’s book in English!

This book, written by Elisabeth Kushner and illustrated by Mike Byrne, was the winner of Keshet’s National Book-Writing Contest, and we couldn’t be happier to finally see it released from Kar-Ben Publishing.

So what’s it all about? Read the rest of this entry →

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