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Jun 21 2013

Why You Should Definitely Follow Along As I Live-Tweet “Princesses: Long Island”

By at 3:07 pm
If you're not pregnant like me, I recommend washing the show down with a nice Long Island Iced Tea.

If you’re not pregnant like me, I recommend washing the show down with a nice Long Island Iced Tea.

Princesses: Long Island is a show that defies words. But fear not, Kveller readers–that will not stop me! I will be live-tweeting (as @Kveller) this car wreck of a “reality” show which implicitly defames Long Island, Jewish women, women in general, relationships, and basically all that is holy. My live-tweeting and the show will be on Bravo at 9 pm EST on (mark it on your calendars) Sunday night. And I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!

“Why on earth should I follow your live-tweets, Jordana, and about such an insane show?” you are thinking. “What’s in it for me?” I’ll lay it out for you below.

1. My credentials for both live-tweeting and reality TV are solid. 

I think of myself as a smart person, and yet in certain instances, I am drawn to reality TV the way some people can’t help but slow down when they see an accident being cleaned up on the Long Island Expressway. This has been true ever since I snuck out of work to watch Temptation Island back in 2000. There are certain shows that hit a nerve in me for their sheer idiocy. This show is one of those cultural moments.

I last live-tweeted for Kveller on Oscar night… and if you were there, you know what a hit that was. Admittedly, I was seriously inebriated at the time but JUST THINK HOW FUNNY I WILL BE ABLE TO BE SOBER!!! The mind reels. Read the rest of this entry →

Mar 28 2013

My Exodus from Brooklyn

By at 9:52 am

long island pierAt the beginning of October, just a month after my husband and I closed on our house in the suburbs, I made a promise right here on the blog that I’d let you know how it all looked a few months in. Back in that blog post, I wrote about how nervous I felt at the closing despite my energetic spearheading of this move-to-the-‘burbs project. I tried to stay upbeat, and wrote that the closing is really an “opening-up” and I recalled how the sellers got us excited by listing all of the wonderful things our new town has to offer.

I also explained that we were moving our young family to the suburbs because we wanted “more trees, more space, less noise, a basement!”

Update #1: We have all of those things now, and they are nice to have.  Read the rest of this entry →

Nov 6 2012

Photos from Hurricane Sandy’s Damage in Long Beach

By at 2:56 pm
flooded playground from sandy long beach

Magnolia Park, post-Sandy.

On the eve of Hurricane Sandy, I sent my husband to Long Beach to bring my parents to my Northern New Jersey home. The local government was evacuating the island but my parents refused to leave. They said last year, they blew Irene out of proportion and nothing was going to happen. I was livid. So very very worried. And then the storm hit.

My brother went out to Long Beach on Tuesday morning to rescue them. Except, my parents were safe. Their home was one of the only ones that was NEVER touched by water. But for now Long Beach is devastated. The National Guard is roaming the streets. There is no power, no cell service, no sewer system. Broken shards of boardwalk are strewn all over the city.

The following photos were taken by my brother and his Long Beach friends during and after the hurricane (photo credits Jeff Rosner and Matsi Chinskey). Read the rest of this entry →

Feb 7 2012

In What Town Will We Find “People Like Us?”

By at 2:36 pm

We’ve outgrown our apartment. We rented it almost two years ago, when I was not-yet-pregnant, and Jon was not-yet-convinced that Brooklyn was the place to be. Now, he is convinced, and we have twin baby girls, and we have to move.

The home-hunting process is hard. I could gripe endlessly about the seriously gross places we’ve visited, houses “priced to sell!” where sellers didn’t bother to take out the trash before a viewing, simply because their home sits on prized New York City real estate and therefore, buyers will swoon even if a roach or two creeps out from hiding. Read the rest of this entry →

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