Feb 28 2013
I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish world where at age 22, a girl was considered a cat-collecting spinster if she was heaven forbid, knock-on-wood, still single. In my world, girls at 22 were on the brink of “spinsterdom,” and girls who were 23, 24, or worse, 25 (gasp!), well, they were just ancient.
After graduation, I traveled to Jerusalem where I studied Hebrew, Israeli culture and customs, and visited the grave sites and the places of my Jewish ancestry. Each landmark visited reminded me that there was a world much bigger than Miami Beach, Florida, where I had lived for most of my life. Much like my classmates, I was studying in Israel for a year following high school. But unlike me, the girls I shared rooms with planned to continue on The Plan once they returned home. The Plan was to get “set up” with a suitable religious guy from a “good” family, who was either ambitious or extremely learned (depending on said girl)–a guy who would provide a comfortable life for the two of them and their soon-to-be children. The Plan was flawless. Read the rest of this entry →
Feb 22 2013
Jordana recently posted on Facebook about an article she’d seen on wsj.com. The title of the article, “Small Acts, Big Love,” pretty much sums it up.
Basically, a recent study shows that people who find small ways to show their partners that they care are happier in their marriages. Not surprisingly, when you’re compassionate, loving, just plain nice, you make your partner happier, and you feel happier, too. The research is focused on the small things–like warming up your husband’s side of the bed or peeling your wife’s orange or bringing home his favorite dessert. Apparently, the little things add up.
I read the article and it got me thinking about hot seat, a game my family would play on Friday nights growing up. Each week another family member was chosen to be in the “hot seat” and everyone at the table was required to say something nice about the person. Read the rest of this entry →
Feb 19 2013
Okay, so I know I’ve always been somewhat of a prude but…really?
My friend described a wedding shower she recently went to where the theme seemed to be “sexy underwear” and even the cookies had icing in the shape of bras and panties. Lingerie is the gift of choice at these events and everyone hoots and hollers when the nighties are held up for inspection. I heard about a bachelorette party in a bar in which the bride-to-be had pretzels pinned to her shirt and the other girls had to find (strange) men in the bar to bite them off. Read the rest of this entry →
Feb 14 2013
Earlier this week, we asked you how you met the love of your life for a little Valentine’s Day fun. And we must admit, it warmed our hearts to see our inbox filled with your stories of love.
We also noticed some trends that we thought were pretty interesting–like a lot of you met while volunteering (such mentsches!) or on AOL (hello, 90s), and a good number of you got married within less than a year of meeting your spouse. There were so many good stories that we didn’t just want to share one, so below you’ll find some of our favorites. Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 18 2013
This past week I celebrated my third wedding anniversary. Since I was sick and confined to bed, I had time to think about these last few years, how I got to where I am today, and how unlikely a journey it has been…
Remember when you were little and you dreamed your life would be a fairy tale? I forgot about those dreams until a few years ago. It was Memorial Day weekend in 2009 and after a dry spell with dating, I was on a roll. Great date on Friday night! Great date on Saturday night! Little did I know that Sunday night would change my life forever. Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 17 2013
My 14th wedding anniversary is this month. And now that I’m mere days away from passing the Seven Year Inch Deadline–twice over–I finally feel qualified to share the Three Relationship Tips No One Ever Tells You (or, to be honest, agrees with). But, I’m going to do it anyway. Because, like “Hooked on Phonics” says, “It worked for me!”
Tip #1: Never Compromise
My husband is a math teacher and an engineer by training. So he approaches all aspects of life like an engineer. And this is how he did the math: When you compromise, two people are left unhappy. When you don’t compromise, one person, at least, is happy. So how do we come to a final decision if compromise is off the table? At our house, the person who feels most strongly, wins. Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 15 2013
My father was 46-years-old when I was born. He already had two children in their early 20s, and had recently been through a bruising divorce. He raised my half-siblings through his own 20s and 30s, a time when he was building his career, buying his first house, and going to school part-time. Before he knew it, they were grown.
This happens to so many parents…so busy providing for our kids that we miss some of the magic of their childhoods. But how many of us actually have a chance to go back and do it all again? My dad did.
This time, he promised himself that he would be there to experience everything. As a kid this translated into Daddy and Me classes, frequent dinner dates, a built-in chauffeur for all my weekend enrichment activities, constant homework help, and much more. I took all of this for granted–it was the only thing I knew–but as a parent I now realize that he carved out an astounding amount of time to spend with only me. Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 10 2013
We all know studies have shown that married couples who share religious beliefs, practices, and values have an easier time maintaining a successful relationship. What about food values? This also matters.
First it’s just about the two of you. Then you have kids. That united front every child development expert will tell you to present, should probably include food. That has proven easier said than done in my house. I think we’ve become experts at the art of compromise. Read the rest of this entry →
Jan 4 2013
Erica Fleischer is OK with her husband working for a porn site.
Heck, I wouldn’t be OK if my husband were a Republican.
Which got me thinking (again) about marriages, especially as my anniversary was this week.
When we choose a life partner, we look for similar values, we look for “chemistry,” and (most of us) just fall in love. All of us hope for long happy lives together as we take a leap of faith. Read the rest of this entry →
Dec 28 2012
Whenever I make a passing reference to having been married prior to my current husband, the reaction is almost always the same. A moment of silence and then, “How long were you married?”
When I answer this question with, “About a year and a half,” the reaction is far different than when I say “We were together about seven years and a year and a half of that we were married.” It’s as if the asker wants to size up how much sympathy they should have for me based on the amount of time we were together. Married only a little over a year? Not that big a deal. But together for such a long time, far more tragic. Read the rest of this entry →