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Jan 9 2014

Losing My Sh*t at IKEA in Front of My Kids

By at 5:02 pm

ikea

There have been a few times so far in my life where I have taken my kids on an outing and everything works out perfectly: the birds chirp and the sun shines, I’ve miraculously packed enough snacks, and the kids behave like mensches. Perhaps most importantly, there are eyewitnesses to note my kids’ wonderful behavior and shoot me admiring looks for this Gisele-like scene of perfect parenting.

Listen, we all need a little external feedback sometimes for emotional validation. Even if you’re Gisele.

These rare occasions have falsely instilled a belief that most outings will go as smoothly, despite considerable evidence to the contrary (baby poop explosions and the realization that I forgot the wipes at home, temper tantrums in aisle six, etc.). So with a confidently optimistic attitude, I blithely set off for IKEA on New Year’s Day with two slightly hungry children who were antsy to get out of the house. I had never been to IKEA before, but people love it and the catalog makes it seem like a fun place. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 2 2014

Looking Back at Life Through What I Wrote

By at 2:19 pm

sarah tuttle-singer typing

I’m looking back through the old scraps of writing I have saved over the years.

And in the detritus of keystrokes, here is what I find: lines about my mother and watching her die, lines about the family I used to have in all its discombobulated beauty.

Thoughts about the baby boy growing inside me and the little girl who would kiss my big old moon belly. Sarcastic strike-throughs to hide the fear I felt during those months and the boredom that followed when I would spend my days watching shadows crawl across the ceiling.

Notes about the man who would bring me Klondike Bars in the middle of the night when I was eight months pregnant, notes about an occasional date at the sushi place down the street, notes that offer no real insight into what would go wrong just a few short years later. Read the rest of this entry →

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