I like to think I am a hip young mom. I am 35. I love Neko Case and the Avett Brothers. I am not scared of people with tattoos. I enjoy drinking and despise “the system.” I may not know much about technology or pop culture, but again: I like to think I am a hip young mom.

Then last month’s Rolling Stone came.

My husband likes Rolling Stone, but somewhere in the 1990s, it seemed the emphasis shifted to a lot more half-naked women being featured, while the monthly editorials tend to be on either a beautiful girl being murdered or the latest rich white kids who were peddling drugs and hiring prostitutes for their friends. The day my older son asked, at not even 4 years old, “Mama, why is that woman in her underwear on this magazine cover?” was the day I told my husband that I was no longer a fan of Rolling Stone lying around the house. I thumb through it once in a while, usually annoyed by the misogyny that seems to dominate its ads and articles, and occasionally amused by candid photos and lengthy interviews with Elvis Costello, Bruce Springsteen, and other such musicians that 35-year-old people sometimes like.

Back to last month’s issue.

Last month’s issue featured famous musicians listing their favorite music for different scenarios. Ke$ha (I feel so silly using a dollar sign for the “s” in her name, but whatever) was to list her favorite “Party Starters.” Sounds innocent enough, right?

Not so much.

Ke$ha, in one fell swoop, made me feel like an old lame mama. Here’s my top 5 reasons why. And for the record (by which I am not referring to an LP), I have nothing against her personally. I know nothing about her except that “Tik Tok” is sort of addictive.

1) Old people like cursing to be for cursing. Ke$ha uses curse words in more than half of her list. I don’t have a “no cursing” thing (I am, after all, hip and young, or so I thought), but I also disdain cursing when it’s blatantly unnecessary and non-specific. So Ke$ha says, for example, that a certain song makes her ”want to go fucking crazy,” but it’s unclear to me why “fucking” has become synonymous with the word “totally” or “completely” or “really.” Any of those words would not have made me feel old and lame, because some songs make me “want to go really crazy.” Why so much cursing, this old hag wonders.

2) Old people are elitist. Wayne’s World is her “favorite movie.” Okay, that’s just a knife in my heart.  I am not trying to be a snob, but I clearly am being an old lady when I want to say, “That’s your favorite movie!? Of all the movies in the world that one could love, Wayne’s World is your favorite!? It’s the best movie ever? It is so entertaining, so thrilling, so moving, that it gets the word “favorite” to modify it?!” Oy.

3) Old people like lofty heroes. Iggy Pop is one of her heroes. I don’t even know how to touch this one. I mean, he is innovative for sure. He is outrageous. He has a distinctive sense of style and music. But one of her HEROES!? Again, could I feel any older to be wondering why Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, or–for the love of God–Moses is not her hero?! Old people like heroes to be people like that. Or at least Bono.

4) Old people like to keep private things private. One of the songs she lists because she first heard it “while getting laid in the back of a car.” Now, I have been in the back of cars. I used to be young and sometimes young people do fun things in cars. But I would never in a magazine list a song as my favorite in reference to it first being heard as I was “getting laid in the back of a car.” Old people think those details are best left for private conversations.

The Maccabeats

5) Old people like knitting. Activities she cites as part of her life, both past and present include: going to strip clubs, destroying hotel rooms while being “hammered,” and her and her friends giving each other “tattoos” on the inside of each other’s lips while drunk, ending in “a disgusting, bloody mess.” Old people don’t much like women going to strip clubs as an activity, destroying hotel rooms, or carving things on the insides of sensitive mucous membranes while drunk (or sober for that matter). We, apparently, like knitting, listening to Jewish a cappella music (preferably the YU Maccabeats), and studying the Talmud. Ahem.

I don’t even know what else to say. I guess I am officially old for those 5 reasons and more. Ke$ha says so. Totally completely really old. Dagnabit.

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: featured, Ke$ha, Mayim Bialik, Music

This is photoshopped, in case it's not obvious.

Here’s a joke for you: what do a Jewish manager, a Hebrew tattoo, and the Shema have to do with Hanukkah? Apparently nothing, if you ask Justin Bieber, whose debut Christmas album, Under the Mistletoe drops today. And according to his inappropriately blunt manager, his testicles have dropped too, rendering him deeper than ever! Yay?

Justin sings two octaves lower on his new album, but for you pre-pubescent falsetto lovers, he’s also belting it out in his girly voice with Mariah. He’s a favorite amongst tribe members, but overlooking even a driedel mention could be detrimental for his rep in the holy land.

Me? I’ll be adding JB’s holiday mash up to my collection alongside Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers Once Upon A Christmas and NKOTB Funky, Funky Christmas (don’t judge).  When I converted to Judaism, I surrendered three boxes of snowman ornaments, my Jesus cookie cutter (because Jesus cookies are delicious), and our annual tree-cutting – on ONE condition – I was able to keep, AND LISTEN TO, all of my holiday music.  I am totally THAT PERSON who programs my car radio to the Christmas station the day after Thanksgiving and belts out jingle bells with the car windows down in the middle of a snow storm. I’m hardcore, people. You couldn’t pry my precious holiday CD collection out of my steely grip if you promised me chocolate hands and painless childbirth.

I can’t tell you the number of people (including my husband) who have tried to tell me, “There really is some beautiful Hanukkah music out there, you should try it.” Does it include a boy drumming? Perhaps a serene chariot ride through the woods to your bubbe’s house? Does it talk about winter or snowy wonderlands? No. No it does not. And while there are a lot of things about Judaism that are just as special, if not better than Americanized Christian celebrations, winter holiday music ain’t one of them. Admittedly, I do own a few Hanukkah albums, including the Adam Sandler classic and my favorite Hanukkah song is by far, “Ocho Kandelikas” (I dare you to listen to that song without shaking your hips!) but there really isn’t a comparison and probably explains why my husband plays The Maccabeats “Candelight” on repeat for eight nights. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Traditions
• Tags: Christmas, conversion, featured, Hanukkah, justin bieber, Music

A mom, a rock star, and an Orthodox Jew.

Chanale Fellig is a mom of two, and a Jewish rock star. But a very specific kind of Jewish rock star. Chanale is Orthodox, and follows a law called kol isha, prohibiting men from hearing women sing. We’ll let her tell you more about that in her own words below.

But even though she only plays for 50% of the population, she has a huge following. She’s just come out with her fifth CD and her first music video, called Taking Over My Heart. We’re kind of fascinated by her and we bet you will be, too.

1. What inspired you to get into music?

Growing up with six girls, we spent a lot of time singing and dancing in our kitchen to all kinds of Jewish music. Back in the eighties, practically all the Jewish music was by male soloists or boys choirs. Then Ruti Navon, a superstar from Israel, became a Ba’alat Teshuva (converted to Orthodox Judaism) and began performing for all-female venues. The first time I saw her perform, I was absolutely amazed.  I remember being mesmerized by the glamor, the passion and the confidence she had. And it was all in the realm of modesty! She wore a great big curly wig, sang with enthusiasm and made all these women so excited and happy. All of 10 years old, and I wanted in.

2. Why perform just for women and girls? Can you explain kol isha to our readers and why it’s meaningful to you?

In my opinion, singing for an audience of only women is the greatest experience a female singer can have. Women connect faster, emote deeper, and enjoy more thoroughly when they are in a room filled with only women. As a songwriter I write songs specifically with my female fans in mind so I can perform them completely focused on each and every woman and girl in the room. I don’t consider kol isha a restriction, but rather a privilege. My songs (“Perfect By Design”, “My Business”, “Her Home”) have always been custom-designed for women and I love this niche in Jewish music.

3. How did having kids change your music?

Having children has cracked my heart wide open and I am sure my fans will notice that in my latest album. My kids have taught me that life is precious and that motherhood is an all-encompassing experience that I cannot separate from my music. I sing from my heart, and my heart is filled to the brink with love for my children. So that’s what you’re gonna get from me right now.

4. Clearly you love your kids, but are there any annoying habits they’ve recently acquired that drive you nuts?

In the last few weeks, their new shtick is running out of bed, (holding hands), giggling like maniacs, like two partners in crime. I think they believe I will be less angry if they come out together, a united front, and although I can’t get enough of their cute faces, I honestly would like them to get into bed and STAY THERE!

5. On a purely superficial level, what are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a sheitel (wig)? Are there no bad hair days?

As a girl my hair was always long and curly and had to be revived every morning or stuffed into a ponytail. My curly wig rests comfortably on a stand, and is not subjected to all the “dirty work” parenting consists of. (Really? Do I have to expand?) Most days, a wig is the answer to my prayers, instantly glamorizing my denim-skirts-and-hoodies look. As the official face of Milano wigs, I am working with them on customizing something super special for on-stage, when I need all the help I can get transforming from Mom to Star. So in my world, sheitels are a lifesaver.

6. Are you your daughters’ favorite singer? Or have they fallen to the way of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber?

My daughters are definitely fans of their mom’s music but I can’t say they haven’t been exposed to a little Taylor Swift on the side.  I AM guilty of telling them she is Jewish, though…

• Posted in Activities, Parenting
• Tags: Jewish interviews, Music, Orthodox, singing, wigs

Last week, we kicked off our first ever Kveller singalong in Brooklyn with the amazing brother and sister duo Ora and Yoshie Fruchter of Yellow Sneaker Productions. We expected 5 or 6 kids to show up and instead we got 45! Plus their parents and babysitters. Hey, we’re not complaining. There were songs sung, puppets puppeteered, and guitars strum. And we’re doing it all over again tomorrow. For those of you in Brooklyn, please come join us.

What: Kveller Singalong

Where: Two Boots Brooklyn, a great local pizza and Cajun food joint. 514 2nd Street between 7th and 8th Avenue.

When: Thursdays from 10:00 – 10:45 am (We will meet every Thursday between September 15 and December 10, except for September 29 and October 13.)

Check out the video above for a glimpse of last week’s craziness.

We can’t wait to see you there. For more info, email info@kveller.com.

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Classes, Music, Singalong

One of the stars of our new weekly singalong, Joey the Kangaroo.

Most of the things we do here at Kveller are online. We are a website, after all.

But recently we got to thinking…what would Kveller look like in person? So here’s one idea. Starting THIS THURSDAY, September 15, we’re hosting a weekly drop-in singalong for parents of kids ages 0-4 in Park Slope, Brooklyn. (Many apologies to those who don’t live nearby! But it will be worth the trip.) It will be led by the phenomenal Ora and Yoshie Fruchter, a Brooklyn-based guitar-playing and puppet-acting duo. (Want a puppet sneak peek? Check out our Purim video).

A little music, a few stories, and a lot of fun for parents and kids. We can’t wait to see you there. For more info, email info@kveller.com.

Where: Two Boots Brooklyn, a great local pizza and Cajun food joint. 514 2nd Street between 7th and 8th Avenue.

When: Thursdays from 10:00 – 10:45 am (We will meet every Thursday between September 15 and December 10, except for September 29 and October 13.)

• Posted in Activities, Baby & Toddler, Preschooler
• Tags: Classes, featured, Music

The American Jewish community has suffered two great tragedies over the past week – the death of singer/songwriter Debbie Friedman and the shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ).  (At the time of this writing, the Congresswoman is in critical condition.)

To be honest, I don’t know much more about either of these women than one can read online.  However, I have been reading about both of them frequently over the past few days.  I am struck not only by what a tremendous impact they have each made on our country and our community, but that they have done so as Jewish women.

If someone had taken aside my grandmother and told her that it would be a Jewish woman who would revolutionize Jewish music, she would have never believed it.  Yet over the course of her career, Debbie Friedman created an entire genre of beautiful, accessible songs that have been embraced by Jews across the country.  Chances are that if you have been in a synagogue lately, you’ve heard one of her melodies or sang her lyrics.  As Amy noted in her recent post, one of Debbie’s most famous songs is her version of the Mi Shebeirach, or prayer for healing.

Although the first Jewish woman was elected to the House of Representatives in 1925 (Florence Kahn of California), my grandmother would have been even more shocked to learn that a Jewish woman can also be, according to the New York Times, “an avid equestrian and motorcycle enthusiast, repository of arcane health care data, successful Democrat elected three times in a Republican Congressional district, French horn player and wife of an astronaut”.  Yet Congresswoman Giffords is all that.  She is widely respected for her political smarts, outgoing nature, and willingness to cast difficult votes on issues she believes in.

As I think about the loss of Debbie Friedman at such a relatively young age (Ms. Friedman was in her late 50’s), and the callous violence that has so gravely injured the Congresswoman, I can’t help but think of my own daughters, two Jewish women in the making.  Who will they grow up to be?  What will they accomplish?  And how can I protect them from illness and violence?

I know.  I know.  I can’t really protect them.  But I can teach them that in this time, in our country, Jewish women really can live the life of their dreams.  And I can also teach them that yes, terrible, painful things happen, but we Jews are no strangers to tragedy.  That in these times of loss and pain, we rely on each other, on our faith, and our history to remember that life goes on, and that we must take advantage of every opportunity and feel grateful for each gift we have been given.  I can teach them about the amazing Jewish women who have gone before them, and who continue, each day, to lead tremendous lives that would have been unimaginable to their great-grandmother.

So, today I would like to say thank you to Debbie Friedman, z”l, for sharing your song with us.  Perhaps we can all remember you as we sing the Mi Shebeirach for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who has truly found the courage to make her life a blessing.  We pray for her full recovery.

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: debbie friedman, featured, gabrielle giffords, Music, politics

NPR did a nice piece about the death this weekend of Debbie Friedman, a musician whose music impacted thousands and thousands of Jews around the world, and how her most famous piece, Mi Sheberach, was sung at the  healing service for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, held at Giffords’s synagogue, Congregation Chaverim in Tuscon.

I’ve heard a lot of people mention Mi Sheberach in the wake of Debbie’s illness and subsequent death, but I think the song of hers that has become most ubiquitous is actually her havdalah.

I have to be honest here in saying that Debbie Friedman’s music is not my favorite. I’ve always respected her work and the passion others feel for it, but to me her music felt too sing alongy, which isn’t what I want at shul.

That said, I’ve been really impressed at the way her music blanketed the Jewish world, from the Reform world that she came from, to the Orthodox world. I will never forget the first time I heard an Orthodox synagogue leading havdalah using Debbie Friedman’s melody. To me, what was so amazing about her work was its ability to transcend borders you wouldn’t have thought were at all porous. The loss of Debbie Friedman is really a loss of a bridge that connected communities that didn’t always want to be connected.

• Posted in Activities, Parenting
• Tags: Music

I stumbled across Jewish Rock Radio this weekend (maybe “stumbled across” isn’t the right term — “saw on facebook” is a little more accurate). And they mean what they say–they play Jewish rock.

The site launched mid-October, and their mission is to “…strengthen Jewish identity and connection in Jewish youth and young adults by providing a mass communication channel utilizing the power of music to attract, inspire, entertain, and educate.” An interesting premise. They also explain that secular and Christian rock has a huge base of radio stations, TV, and merchandising. Jewish rock, not so much. So Jewish Rock Radio was brought in to fill the void.

So I turned it on. The first song I heard was by Balkan Beat Box and if you’ve never heard them, they’re kind of awesome. A rock-reggae-pop-combination had both me and my 16 month old dancing. Next came Debbie Friedman, which seemed like a slightly strange transition as I think of her as more spiritual than rock. Nevertheless, we were still dancing around the kitchen. The music ranged over the next half-hour. Some of it was awesome, some of it didn’t speak to me, but besides occasional random interludes, it all felt like actual Jewish rock.

The next time you’re looking for some new music, check out Jewish Rock Radio. Tell them Kveller sent you.

• Posted in Activities
• Tags: Music

Marc Dauer can replace the hair on your head and sing to your kid about why it's important to pee. Now, that's talent.

Ok, let’s just get this out of the way, Dr. Marc Dauer is a hair replacement specialist. He deals with eyebrows, heads of hair, etc. But in his free time he’s also a musician, a pretty damn successful one too who goes by the name Doc Dauer.

His first record for kids, “The Body Rocks,” is a 17-track collection of songs and skits that turn the organs of the human body into playful characters. It builds on Schoolhouse Rock, as well as his label-mates They Might Be Giants (whose Grammy-winning Here Come the 1, 2, 3′s could be the prequel for Body Rocks), explaining the matter-of-factness of science in a weird, fun, and occasionally gross way that kids will not only laugh at, but understand.

But Marc Dauer is also a musician in his own right. He plays and sings in a band, Jukebox Junkies, as well as being an award-winning composer for film (American Pie) and TV (90210).  And the guest talent on the record includes Minnie Driver, Guster, and Liz Phair–the latter singing on half the songs. We asked him about singing about pee, his other career, and how he felt about the singer of “Girls, Girls, Girls” singing on a kids’ album.

Kveller: Did your parents want you to grow up to be a doctor?

They certainly encouraged me. I definitely had a dual influence–from my father being a physician and my mother being an artist. I was inspired on both sides of the brain. As a kid, I used to go to work a lot with my father, on summer and weekends. I would help out in his office. I guess it sprung from there.

What got you excited about the human body?

My overall interest in science, and my interest in the profession. I do practice hair restoration surgery. I was an ER doctor for many years, and then 6 or 7 years I transferred over to hair rest, and I really enjoy it. It’s personally satisfying, and it’s artistically based. I create eyebrow patterns, hair patterns.

Do you think there’s anything particularly Jewish about wanting to know about our bodies, and the reasons that it does the things it does?

I think our knowledge of the human body probably reflects on our wonder of the amazing beings that we are. And that, in and of itself, is probably faith-based. You have to ask yourself: How could something as complex as the human body come about, how can it exist? And that probably has something to do with faith, for some people.

You have a song called “Pee Keeps Our Insides Clean.” There’s a stigma about thinking that the human body is gross, especially things like skeletons and muscle tissue. What made you want to write about it?

That was part of my goal with the album — to take some of these things that kids may think are gross and explain what they really are and what their purpose is. To inject some understanding into what we think about our bodies…for kids and for adults.

Certainly kids like saying “pee,” and that’s part of the fun of that particular song. They also like singing the song “Food Gives Energy to Me and You,” because it has the word “poo” in it. But I’m also trying to make it okay to say, you know, certain slang words. It’s okay if you’re using them to describe bodily functions, in the context of learning about the actual function.

When I was 14, Liz Phair was my favorite singer. Mostly I liked that she spoke about all the stuff that nobody else would — she had lyrics like “I take full advantage/of every man I meet” and “Every time I see your face/I get all wet between my legs.” Were you concerned about putting her on a kids’ album? Are you afraid that your kids are going to say, “Ooh, I want to hear more,” and then start rocking out to “F*** and Run”?

Liz is my scoring partner, and we’ve scored a number of TV shows together. She’s such an amazing presence and a great singer that it seemed natural to ask her to help out with this album. Also her father’s a physician–a well-known immunologist, and she has her own experiences.

Liz brought something very special to the album, as she does with everything. I wasn’t concerned with some of her own song topics, just because this is a completely different project from what she usually does, and Liz has many different components to her own artistic personality. This allowed her to branch out in a different way.

All the guest singers are really close friends of mine, and people whom I’ve worked with in other contexts. I asked if they wanted to be involved, and they all offered up their services.

You’re in a successful band, and you score music for TV and films. What drove you to kids’ music?

It sprung from my dissatisfaction in a lot of kids’ music that was out there. A lot of artists are dumbing down their music in order to make kids’ records. I thought that kids were more sophisticated than that — they appreciate more complicated music, but I wanted to write lyrics that would appeal to them. I wanted to make an album that would teach kids something and yet would entertain them and would give them musically sophisticated songs as well.

Do you have kids of your own? Did they help out?

I do, I have three — 12, 9, and 7. They were definitely good sounding boards. I would bounce songs off them and have them critique them. They’d say they wouldn’t like something, and it was back to the drawing board.

• Posted in Activities
• Tags: featured, Music