Nov 6 2014
I will never forget how I felt the first time a friend told me she had a miscarriage. We worked together and were leaving the office to get coffee one day (about 12 years ago). Before we even reached the elevators she blurted out, “I had a miscarriage yesterday.” I just stood there speechless, staring at her with what must have been an extremely odd expression on my face. I was truly shocked. In my social circle we did not talk about things like that so openly.
I gathered my courage and attempted to summon up inspiring and helpful words but good lord, nothing came. I had no idea what to say to her!
We finally made it into the elevator and she kept talking which made me more at ease. SHE had to make ME feel more at ease.
When I returned to my desk, after what seemed like hours, I started to do research on miscarriage. Read the rest of this entry →
Oct 15 2014
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Over the years, many of our writers have written poignantly about the heartrending experience of losing a child or pregnancy. For those who have experienced that pain, we hope these stories will resonate, provide comfort, and offer helpful suggestions for processing the loss. For those who haven’t, this might help you comfort a friend who has.
Here is a roundup of the most relevant articles from Kveller and our friends at Modern Loss about pregnancy and infant loss:
1. 17 Things to Say to Someone Who’s Lost a Child. It’s hard to know what to say to a friend who is mourning the loss of a child or potential child. A dad who has unfortunately found himself on both sides of the conversation offers some guidelines and suggestions. Read the rest of this entry →
Jun 18 2013
Tova decided to share her story about choosing to have a medical termination on Kveller, and now, she offers advice for what–and what not to–say to anyone who’s experienced a loss of pregnancy.
Despite the fact that pregnancy loss is so common, there still incredibly remains a veil of secrecy and stigma over speaking about it publicly, so people just don’t know how the heck to respond.
And so, after personal experience and informal research, I’d like to offer a guide on what and what not to to say to your friend, sister, wife, aunt, mother, neighbor, or colleague who just told you she lost a pregnancy. Read the rest of this entry →
The courage of the anonymous writer who recently told her story about medical termination on Kveller, and the positive feedback she received from grateful readers, emboldened me to now share my own story, which few people know about beyond my family and close friends.
My second pregnancy seemed fairly uneventful; in hindsight, my lack of nausea was a clue I completely missed and for which, after serious morning sickness during my first pregnancy, I felt immensely thankful for.
At the 12-week mark, it was time for the sonogram. Read the rest of this entry →