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May 14 2014

Rabbi Julie Greenberg, Single Mom of Five, Explores Race, Class, and Unconventional Families in New Book

By at 2:00 pm

Julie, as a new mother, with first born Rosi.


Rabbi Julie Greenberg is a mother of five, the founder of Mountain Meadow, a camp for children with LGBTQ parents, and was one of the first rabbis in the world to do same-sex weddings, to welcome interfaith couples and families, and to work closely with clergy from other faiths in co-officiations. We recently discussed her latest book, “Just Parenting: Building the World One Family at a Time,” about raising her five children by and large as a single parent with the help of sperm donors, adoption, women lovers, former lovers, and a gay male parenting partner.

She is graciously offering Kveller readers a discount on the book: just use the code “KVELL” at checkout here.

How is this book different from all other parenting books? Read the rest of this entry →

Feb 11 2013

Contest Alert: How Did You Meet Your Spouse?

By at 4:31 pm

valentine's day heartsLove (or anxiety, if you haven’t figured out a gift yet) is in the air as Valentine’s Day fast approaches this Thursday. In honor of this celebration of love, we thought it would be fun to travel back in time before diapers and sippy cups filled our lives with joy, back to the time when romance and dating didn’t come with a babysitter’s fee.

That’s right, we want to know how you met your one and only.

Whether through a matchmaker, Jdate, the bar scene or a chance encounter at the DMV (hey, it could happen) we want to hear your funniest, weirdest, most romantic or silliest stories of how you met your future spouse.

Send us your story between 100-200 words of how you met your significant other for the chance to win fame and glory (i.e.  publication on Kveller) and a copy of Brooklyn Love by Yael Levy, an orthodox Jewish romance novel about three young Orthodox women searching for love. All submissions should be sent to with “Valentine’s Day Contest” in the subject line. Send them to us by this Wednesday, February 13th and we’ll announce the winner on Thursday.

Jan 17 2013

Three Secrets to a Long-Lasting Marriage that the Relationship Books Don’t Tell You

By at 5:01 pm

secrets to a long-lasting marriage alina adamsMy 14th wedding anniversary is this month. And now that I’m mere days away from passing the Seven Year Inch Deadline–twice over–I finally feel qualified to share the Three Relationship Tips No One Ever Tells You (or, to be honest, agrees with). But, I’m going to do it anyway. Because, like “Hooked on Phonics” says, “It worked for me!”

Tip #1: Never Compromise

My husband is a math teacher and an engineer by training. So he approaches all aspects of life like an engineer. And this is how he did the math: When you compromise, two people are left unhappy. When you don’t compromise, one person, at least, is happy. So how do we come to a final decision if compromise is off the table? At our house, the person who feels most strongly, wins. Read the rest of this entry →

My Daughter & Her Boyfriend’s Jeans

By at 2:54 pm

torn jeans with holeI’m standing at the kitchen sink when my eldest walks past me to the table to pack her lunch.

“What’s all over your pants?”

“They’re distressed.”

“Did you rip them?!”

“No, they came like that. It’s a style.” She pauses for effect. “And they’re not my pants. And you said I looked cute in them.”

Now I’m distressed. I look more closely at her pants. They are black jeans, ripped and frayed on both legs. I hadn’t noticed that–looking up from the bottom of the stairs–when I’d complimented her.

“Are you wearing [boyfriend name]‘s pants?!” Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 4 2013

How to Readjust Your Marriage

By at 11:47 am

Erica Fleischer is OK with her husband working for a porn site.

Heck, I wouldn’t be OK if my husband were a Republican.

Which got me thinking (again) about marriages, especially as my anniversary was this week.

When we choose a life partner, we look for similar values, we look for “chemistry,” and (most of us) just fall in love. All of us hope for long happy lives together as we take a leap of faith. Read the rest of this entry →

Dec 21 2012

Don’t Forget About Your Marriage

By at 11:43 am

We’re thinking of going on a trip to Russia. I suddenly realized that I have no idea what happened to the arch villain of my youth, the Soviet Union. I know it broke apart, but why and when I can’t tell you.

I also realized that there are specific social references to popular TV shows and music that are unfamiliar to me. Totally. Never heard of them.

When I thought about it, it came to me that the 80s were my lost decade. Actually, I lost from 1976 to 1992. Those were the years that I was immersed in raising young children.

Everything from those years seems to be just a blur, although I do remember large shoulder pads. Read the rest of this entry →

Nov 19 2012

A Letter To My Daughter About Fighting Back

By at 9:44 am

playground in israelTo My Darling Daughter,

I watch your eyes glow when the kids in preschool want to play with you. I see how it matters to you what they say and how they smile.

I watch your bottom lip tremble when someone hurts your feelings.

And I watch you on the playground–your face flushed, and your breath staggered as you chase the child that was mean to you. I know you, and I know you are blaming yourself for their bad behavior.

I know you are trying to get a second chance at friendships not worth having.

You are so much like me that it takes my breath away.

Please. Don’t be this way. Read the rest of this entry →

Mar 20 2012

Prepare to Be Shocked: Kids Will Change Your Relationship

By at 10:07 am
friends with kids movie poster

Or, Attractive People with Kids.

You may not know that in my spare time (ha!), I’m also a bit of a film buff/reviewer. I’ve interviewed my share of A-list film stars and directors, and I’ll take you with me when I cover the Tribeca Film Festival for the Forward next month. I love the feeling when the lights go off and the screen lights up with other people’s stories. And one film I saw recently about parenting made me think, wow, you’ve got it all wrong.

Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 6 2011

Our Dependence Day

By at 2:43 pm

Tamara and her husband three years ago.

My husband and I were married on July 4, 2008. This week we celebrated our three-year anniversary and by celebrate I mean we tried to find at spare moment between his busy work schedule and my toddler wrangling to exchange lame cards and attempt to have sexy time amidst exhaustion and spontaneous lactation (me not him).  Three years in and we’re already “those people” who have fallen into a rhythm where our time together looks more like friendship and parenting than romance and animal magnetism.  We still hold hands and he grabs my ass any chance he can get but if you pass us on the street we’re probably pushing  a stroller filled with an adorable boy and talking about our finances.

People say that when you have children you have to make it a priority to put your marriage first. There are days that I don’t shower and he doesn’t eat so how are we expected to live up to that kind of standard?  Most days we just pass like ships in the night and I feel like our marriage is at the bottom the to-do list below “change the cat litter” and “make a dentist appointment.” Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 31 2011

What’s Age Got To Do With It?

By at 10:10 am

“Wow,” my husband J. mutters, looking at his mail. “Wow.”

I can tell by his reaction that the letter in question wasn’t a “You Have Won!” from Publishers’ Clearing House.

“What’s up?” I ask.

“Do you really want to know?” he replies.

“Uh…YEAH,” I say.

“Promise you won’t get upset,” he says.

Ah, the wonderful combination of “Do you really want to know?” and “Promise you won’t get upset.” I start envisioning heretofore-undiscussed illegitimate children in Thailand.

“I can’t promise that, but try me.”

He holds up an envelope. “I was just invited to join the AARP.”

There’s a 12-year age difference between myself and my husband—he just turned 50 (which really is not octogenarian territory, for the record). Generally, it feels like no age difference at all. This, of course, is due to our shared sense of humor, our love for one another and my incomparable maturity. But at a moment like this one, as I sit next to him, four months pregnant with our first child, it seems like other people want to highlight the significance of the age difference.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, we were fooling around in a local department store, trying on winter hats. I put on a particularly warm one with fur earflaps.

“You look so cute,” my husband said to me, as an older saleslady, complete with glasses on a chain around her neck, came up to us.

“Oh, that’s a terrific hat, young lady,” the saleslady said. “And it’ll keep you nice and warm. Do you go to school up North?”

It took a minute for it to sink in. She thinks I’m in school, I thought. That must mean she thinks my husband is my…

Oh, God.

“No, I don’t go to school up North,” I responded as my husband laughed.

We joked about it later (with me telling him that I had chickened out of responding that he wasn’t my husband, but my professor). I still maintain that that lady needed a new optical prescription, but it was admittedly disorienting.

My husband has prematurely gray hair, a young face and heart, and is an incredible, brave man. In his late forties, he married me, taking on the responsibilities of becoming a stepfather to two young boys after not having had any children of his own in his first marriage. And now, comparatively late in life, he will get to fulfill his dream of being a dad as well as a stepdad.

If anything, I think that with age, we become more aware of our blessings. He and I frequently bemoan the fact that we didn’t meet one another earlier—but the fact of the matter is, as he pointed out in the car on our way home from dinner last night, “You were in high school. I just don’t think that would have worked.”

In seriousness, we were each leading our own lives with our own experiences and mistakes. He was listening to the Sex Pistols; I was learning how to read. But the late combination of our separate lives somehow led us to one another. Because of having had such a long time apart, I think, we appreciate one another wholeheartedly, without reservation. This is love that’s seasoned by time—the time apart as well as the time together. We know what life is like without each other—and how much better it is together.

And so, I look at my husband, whose normally happy face looks somewhat sad.

“Do you think we could get me a spousal membership?” I ask.

The sadness fled his face. “We could probably get some good discounts,” he says, gleefully.

As we laugh about it, the tension fades away. I think of him carrying (non-adult) diapers and baby bottles in the AARP tote bag I envision we will be given as a membership gift. And I smile, laugh, and go back to my work, picturing my 37-year-old self showing my AARP membership card at the movie theater in an attempt to get a senior discount.


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