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Jan 18 2013

We Lost a Hero in Lance Armstrong

By at 11:57 am

Like many, I planned on tuning into Oprah’s exclusive interview with Lance Armstrong last night. And I was dreading it.

I was dreading it because I am angry with him.

I was dreading it because I really looked up to the guy.

I was dreading it because I was afraid that his responses would be full of sanctimonious excuses and trite apologies.

I was dreading it because no matter what others claimed over the years, I actually believed him when he swore that he wasn’t doping. That others were jealous, vindictive, and publicity-mongering.

Who is a hero? Read the rest of this entry →

Oct 3 2011

Thoughts on My First Anniversary

By at 3:22 pm

Jordana and her family, one year ago today.

Where were you a year ago today?

A year ago today, I was signing my ketubah. And now, I’m holding my two month old baby girl.

Whoever coined the phrase “what a difference a year makes” wasn’t kidding.

A year ago, I walked down the aisle in my favorite synagogue. Each step was fraught with significance for me. Each step toward the chuppah, on the arms of my parents, was one step further away from my previous marriage and painful divorce.  Each step was toward a new man, a new marriage, a new version of myself and a new future. Each step was one step toward fear – will I be good enough for my new husband?  – and yet away from it at the same time, as I told myself, I can do this. I can give myself to someone else without being afraid and without repeating history.

I came closer to him. I couldn’t look him in the eye, for fear that I would cry. I circled him seven times, carving out a space for us and our marriage that was separate from the world and yet part of it. Each step, I realized, was sacred.

Each step – one small step for womankind, one giant step for me — was a decision. Read the rest of this entry →

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