Apr 10 2013
The conversation was simple and direct: Mommy had a baby in her belly and in the spring, when the flowers came out, so would the baby. Our nearly 2-year-old son took it in stride, though my heart ached for his pending journey into big brotherhood. Our goal was to involve him as much as possible so he could feel like he was part of the process and not a victim of the change. Read the rest of this entry →
Dec 5 2012
My toddler is slowly but surely adjusting to his new baby brother. I try hard to foresee battles before they ensue and we’re slowly getting back to our old dynamic. I’m getting used to taking two kids everywhere and I’ve realized that a fully capable toddler and I did just “run in” to stores where as a toddler, newborn and I take HOURS to simply leave the house in one piece. There is no “running in.”
At our baby’s 1 month visit, my toddler also had his 30 month appointment. My husband was with me and it was easier to just do both at the same time. Our toddler loved all of the attention he got and admittedly two minutes of the appointment was spent examining the baby and 45 minutes was spent discussing Big Brother’s adjustment. Read the rest of this entry →
Dec 4 2012
When reading all of the advice posts to our editor Debbie about life with two kids last week, I started thinking about what I’d said to her the last time we saw each other. My son was 4 months old, my daughter was 3 years and 3 months. Debbie was about 8 months pregnant with #2. And she asked me how it was to adjust to two.
Without even thinking about it, I lied.
I blithely said, “Oh, it’s not so bad!” instead of telling her about how this baby would get so hysterical around 11 p.m. that he wouldn’t soothe for anything so I would spend hours upon hours walking and rocking him… which still didn’t work. Almost nightly, I felt so desperate that I’d put him down, walk away, and cry because I was so exhausted I couldn’t see straight. Read the rest of this entry →
Nov 27 2012
In response to Debbie’s plea for help yesterday in dealing with her daughter’s adjustment to being a big sister, Carla has some sage words of advice.
I was just trying to find the email I sent out a couple of years ago to all of my Mama friends with two kids–it was remarkably similar to yours. I’m certainly no expert, but now that my baby is almost 2 1/2, I’m a bit farther away from the shitshow that was our life for almost a year. (We’re still a mess on a far-too-regular basis, but it is SO much easier now.)
As you read this, keep in mind that my big girl was only 20 months old when the baby was born, and that she fractured her leg the day before I was due to give birth. Little sister was kind enough to show up five days late, which gave us some time to figure out life with a toddler in a hip-to-toe cast. So, if I seem a bit bitter or traumatized, well, I guess I was. But we’re better now. Read the rest of this entry →
Nov 26 2012
Dear Kveller Readers,
As many of you know, two weeks ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She did us the favor of waiting out both Hurricane Sandy and the presidential election. And so far during her short life on the outside she has continued to exhibit considerate behavior—sleeping long stretches, eating well, and making adorable faces.
Now, her 3-year-old sister is a different story. Last night I had a dream that bandits had kidnapped my older child and I was forced to negotiate her release in a produce market in South America from a guy selling mangoes. Not the most subtle dream I’ve ever had. Yes, it does feel like somebody has taken my sweet child who used to make me smile and laugh and replaced her with a child I don’t know, one who reduces me to a pile of tears.
So, I’m turning to you dear readers and writers to offer some advice. How oh how do we get through these first weeks? How do I help my 3-year-old understand that just because we have another baby we don’t love her any less? How do we help her understand all those big emotions?
And with that, I turn it over to you. We’re devoting this week to life with two (or more) and how to cope. Looking forward to advice from all you wise women and men.
Oct 24 2012
It’s funny how perspective can change in the blink of an eye (or in this case, 14 hours of labor). Before having my son, I thought my 3-year-old was still a baby. She was so little! She could barely do anything!
But then I had a baby. And when you compare a 3-year-old to an infant, that 3-year-old is like a giant. Not only can she walk, she can run, trip, scrape her knees, and shake it off. Not only can she talk, but she can express an argument as to why she should really be allowed to watch one more TV show. She can open the refrigerator, get out her own string cheese, and pull it into strings. Meanwhile, the baby really just sits there (though he’s an excellent smiler these days!) Read the rest of this entry →
Oct 11 2012
I’d heard of Second Kid Syndrome long before Baby Two was on my radar. I thought, “I won’t be that lax with the second kid.” Then I had him. Last week. And instead of a fully-prepared diaper bag, I took a plastic shopping bag to his first pediatrician visit.
It’s early onset Second Kid Syndrome. You probably know what I’m talking about. Symptoms of SKS include a much calmer approach to having an infant. Instead of giving my son a full bath and new pair of pajamas as soon as the smallest droplet of spit-up hits his footie, I wipe it away as best I can and declare the PJs’ condition good enough. Read the rest of this entry →
May 29 2012
I’ve heard the term “babymoon” described in several contexts–the most common being a romantic(?) vacation taken before the arrival of a new baby for the parents-to-be to celebrate their alone time before becoming a threesome. Marketed as: “This is your absolute! LAST! chance! to blow a bunch of money on a vacation AS A COUPLE before a baby comes and destroys all of the love and romance and replaces it with screaming and poop!!” I mostly see it as a way to capitalize on the arrival of a new baby much like Sweetest Day enables Hallmark to sell mushy pink cards twice in one calendar year. I’m not buying it. Read the rest of this entry →
May 15 2012
I’ve always felt a special kind of connection to the time of year between Passover and Shavuot, a Jewish period known as the Omer. (For Mayim Bialik’s Omer explanation, click here.) Here’s why. On Passover, the Jewish people go from being slaves to being free. Now, imagine that freedom. Your whole life, all you’ve ever known is following someone else’s arbitrary rules. And suddenly–no rules. No nothing, for that matter. The freedom must have been intense…and frightening.
But then, 49 days later, after wandering the desert, God gives the Jewish people the Torah, and with it, rules. In some way, those rules must have been a huge sigh of relief. No more crazy anarchy (golden calf, anyone?), no more feeling confused about how to build a society–God gave us everything we needed in the Torah. It’s nice to have a sense of structure to your life. Read the rest of this entry →
May 14 2012
When I was almost 27 weeks pregnant with my firstborn, I went into my OB’s office for a routine visit. My doctor was watching me closely due to cervical scarring that I’d incurred from some preventative procedures I’d had earlier in life.
Within two seconds of the exam, he backed away and told me to move to the ultrasound room. We waited nervously as the doctor pulled up the ultrasound machine and declared that I had next to no cervix left, was completely softened and dilated to 1 cm. He scheduled us the next morning for an emergency cerclage (a suture used to close the opening of the cervix) but when we arrived at the hospital the procedure was cancelled because the monitor showed my contractions were three minutes apart. Read the rest of this entry →