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Aug 28 2014

Is Your Toddler Obsessed with What’s Fair? So Was Moses

By at 8:34 am


This post is part of our Torah commentary series. This Shabbat we read Parashat Shoftim. To read a summary of the portion and learn more, click here.

My kids, like yours, most likely, are obsessed with what’s fair. Sure, this is a classic toddler hang-up: Nothing is fair, but everything is fair game for a tantrum. And when you have twins, the fairness stakes rise exponentially. Beware the tiny fairness police.

The thing is, it’s very, very hard to predict what will elicit an “its not fair” from the peanut gallery. My husband and I try to anticipate–purchasing dual copies of the most coveted items, spending one-on-one time with each child as often as humanly possible, being generally far more patient and attentive than either of us have the bandwidth to be, and yet, we’re repeatedly surprised by how our kids can find unfairness in the most unlikely places. Read the rest of this entry →

Jul 16 2014

My Sons Grow Farther Apart Every Day

By at 2:10 pm


There are moments in parenting when all the rules go out the window and only pure instinct remains. This was one of those moments.

My son Dalen climbed into bed with me, his long lanky body curling into a ball of elbows and knees that jabbed into my stomach every time he sobbed.

“Charlie said he’s never going to play ‘Crazy World’ again!” The words bubbled up with each wave of tears and got stuck in his throat.  Read the rest of this entry →

Nov 6 2013

When One Son Wins an Award & The Other Son is Jealous

By at 11:59 am


My middle child won an award last week. It wasn’t a Pulitzer, an Oscar, or a Nobel, but it did come with a ceremony and a cash prize. And it did prompt his older brother to whine, “How come he always wins everything and I never win anything?”

I took a moment to remind my son that the previous few months had been more or less a non-stop party dedicated to the theme of: Yay, You Got into NYC’s Top Public High School.

“That’s not the same,” he pouted. “I never get prizes for the things I do.”

I noted that he’d won the handwriting prize at school–twice! (Anyone remember the book/movie The Bad Seed where the mother laments, “What kind of school gives out only one award, and it’s for penmanship!”)

I recalled that he was picked to be featured in an art exhibition where he was the sole child among adults (my husband observed at the time, “I think we’ve got the only artist here with a bedtime.”). Read the rest of this entry →


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