Nov 1 2012
“I’d rather shove a fork in my eye.”
That was my response when my husband said his parents called and asked if we’d like to come spend the last Shabbat of Sukkot with them in the ultra-Orthodox community my husband, children and I recently moved out of. It wasn’t any one thing in particular that gave me the knee-jerk, panic-stricken reaction to shout, “NO!”
In part, it was the fact that my relationship with my in-laws has been cordial but not particularly warm. It was the idea of spending 24 hours in a place where I’d never felt like myself. And much more basic than that, I hate packing my boys and all their belongings up and taking them somewhere unfamiliar to spend the night. They don’t ever sleep well, which means I don’t sleep well and that translates into one miserable weekend for everyone. My husband said, “Think about it and we’ll let them know tomorrow.” Read the rest of this entry →
Sep 13 2011
So much tired, so little sleep.
Israeli sleep coach, Batya Sherizen is taking questions from Kveller readers. Send your problems to firstname.lastname@example.org.
My 3-month-old is a restless sleeper. We have a consistent bedtime routine: we bathe him, I feed him, then we swaddle him and my husband sings to him until the baby is very drowsy. Then he goes in his co-sleeper and my husband stays with him until he falls asleep. He usually does a great job sleeping from 7:30 until 2 or 3 when he wakes up for a feeding. I know this is a wonderful amount of sleep for a baby this age. My question is about his restless sleep. He used to only be squirmy and somewhat gassy from the middle of the night feeding until the morning. Now he is restless and a little gassy almost all night. He is waking himself (and us) up. I give him back his pacifier and shush him until he falls back to sleep (I don’t pick him up unless he is hungry). Is there anything we can do to help him (and us) have a better night’s sleep?
It’s great that you have such a set routine in place for your baby. It sounds like he knows how to follow the proper cues to wind down for sleep and remain asleep. Read the rest of this entry →
Jul 11 2011
I have a 21-month old daughter. She is usually a great sleeper at night. Though lately she’s been waking up in the middle of the night and wanting to get into bed with us. It started when she was sick so we acquiesced. Though now she’s all better and she’s still getting up! We let her cry one night for an hour and in the end she still came into bed with us. Help!
OK, re: the sleeping–I probably won’t be telling you anything you don’t know here. I assume that she has her own room and won’t be disturbing other siblings? And that she has had a regular bedtime, around 7 pm, and has been asleep until this waking.
First principles: this is a behaviour which you wish to change. It takes up to 2 weeks to extinguish and reset behaviours, and consistency is the key.
So when Cuddles comes to your room and climbs into your bed (and I imagine, starts to kick you both out of bed as all toddlers do), soothe her, hug her, and IMMEDIATELY return her to her crib or bed. If she cries, think about what she wants: Grade A treatment, i.e. in this case, to return to your bed. You should not offer her nothing at all and leave her to cry in the dark, feeling abandoned. You should offer her Grade B treatment. Cuddle her, soothe her, explain to her that you love her but she has to stay in her bed, and then put her back to bed and leave the room, saying, “See you in the morning!” Read the rest of this entry →