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Jul 3 2014

The Only Thing Keeping My Son From Being Independent

By at 3:33 pm

Fruit loops spilling on a table

Independence Day has come a bit early in our house.

As a mother of just one, all my maternal energy is focused on my single offspring. With no sibling living full-time in our house, Emmet gets all my attention–undivided and unsolicited. I watch every tennis lesson, bring him to every birthday party, and beg him for all the minute details of his day: who he sat with on the bus, what games he played during recess, and exactly what he ate for lunch.

While I am lucky to have three lovely teenage step-kids who dote on Emmet, he is my only biological child. One of the pitfalls of being an only child is having a mom who clutches to moments and milestones, knowing that each one is the first and last time she will be able to experience it. I know, I know: in order to fly, baby birds need to leave their nests, snag some air space, and spread their wings, sometimes with a push from their mamas. But sometimes, their mamas need a push, too.

This became abundantly clear these first days of summer. Read the rest of this entry →

Nov 13 2013

The Six Hardest Things About Being a Stepmom (And the Two Things That Make it All Worth It)

By at 10:10 am

the six hardest things about being a stepmom

If there’s anything I’ve learned from being a longtime Kveller reader and contributor, it’s that raising kids is HARD. Kids need attention and love all the time, but they also need dinner, a bath, and a bedtime story, all before 7:45 p.m. or you will pay for it in the morning. Diaper changes and temper tantrums, picking a school, picking up toys, monitoring screen time–it’s endless.

All of that said, I envy all you moms and dads out there, because being a parent seems (from my no-doubt warped perspective) a whole lot simpler than being a stepparent. There are approximately 673,491 difficult things about being a stepparent, but here’s my top six list (and then two things that make it all worth it).

1.You never did any of the awesome bonding.

Those first few months after the baby arrived you probably didn’t get much sleep. And you may have felt like kind of an imposter (who let you take this baby home from the hospital? Don’t they know you have no idea what you’re supposed to do?) but you figured it out. You suffered through the sleepless nights and the cryfests because your baby was gorgeous and perfect and you just LOVED looking at her while she nursed or playing peek-a-boo with him. You watched him laugh for the first time, take her first steps, and you cried when he first said “Mama.” Read the rest of this entry →

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