Even before the separation, I was a free-wielding mama. I used to let M and Little Homie color on the walls of her room with a crayon. I let my kids stand on chairs next to me and slice bread with a butter knife on the kitchen counter. Crumbs on the floor can be swept up. Stains on their clothes means that they had a good time. Bedtime is a fluid concept in our house, and if we’re all having a hard day I’ve been known to break out the Ben and Jerry’s. I (still) don’t censor myself, even though I know it means that one day the preschool director will probably call me because one of my kids said “shove it.” But, I love loyally and loudly. Mess with my kids, and I’ll cut you. Read the rest of this entry →

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: Discipline, featured, parenting style, separation, Television

It seems like kids (and adults) these days are always plugged in.

When I was pregnant, my husband and I did a lot of thinking about what kind of parents we wanted to be. How would we teach our baby-to-be about the world? What values would we exemplify in our lives? What aspects of Judaism would be important to us? And of course–what were we absolutely, positively, sure we would never do?

One of the things on that no-way list was letting our kids watch TV/movies anywhere and everywhere. I remember one Friday evening when we went to a restaurant in our neighborhood and saw a family of four having a lovely dinner out. (Ah, the days of being able to celebrate the restfulness of Shabbat by going out to dinner on a Friday night without needing a babysitter!) But when I looked closer, I saw that the daughter was listening to music on her ipod and the son was watching a dvd. I was really sad to see that. I thought to myself, “we’ll never let our kids do that.” After all, I’d grown up in a house where you weren’t even allowed to bring your book to the dinner table.

I’ve seen it more and more lately. There’s even a new restaurant in my kid-friendly neighborhood that caters to that mentality–they have booths with televisions and the kids can choose from an assortment of dvds. When I asked a friend about it, she said it was the only way she and her husband could enjoy a nice dinner.

I don’t know about that.

Now, my daughter isn’t quite 2 yet, so I haven’t faced this head-on the same way some of you have–but shouldn’t there be other ways to enjoy a nice dinner? Aren’t there other toys, games, or activities that you can bring to the table if you need your child to be entertained? Lately crayons and stickers have been our distraction of choice–and it seems to be working. When it stops working, I’ll try to find something else. To me, the ipod (with its videos of Laurie Berkner) is our last resort–and only used if one of us can’t take her out of the restaurant.

Of course I’m realistic, and I’ve broken my own rules a couple of times too. At one of our  Passover seders at a friend’s house, when we hadn’t wrapped up by 9 pm, and we weren’t putting our daughter to sleep there, we might have let her sit at the table watching a dvd. (Okay, we did let her sit at the table watching a dvd.) But those were extenuating circumstances–we should’ve thought ahead and brought the pack n play and let her go to sleep. My mom told me that my grandfather was probably rolling over in his grave at the thought of tv at the seder. I agree–which is enough incentive for me to not ever do that one again.

There was an article in the New York Times recently about families that were too plugged in–though they all sit in their living room together, each person has his/her own screen (from ipads to tv to cell phones) and thus, are totally separate. That’s not what I want for my family. So I’m going to do my damnedest not to let it happen. How? Starting with me. If I have fewer screens in my life, so will my husband, and so will our daughter.

I’m determined to do it. What about you?

• Posted in Parenting
• Tags: dinner table, friday night, shabbat, teaching values, Television

After having a kid, there’s so much that comes back to you from your own childhood. The books you read, the outfits you wore (some of which are amazingly back in style), the recipes you made, the television you watched.  Perhaps that’s why I kind of love my daughter’s Sesame Street obsession.

Somehow addiction to Sesame Street feels okay because I grew up watching Sesame Street too. And, of course, because it’s educational.

So when I heard that Sesame Street was making a new version of Shalom Sesame, which is basically Sesame Street taking a trip to Israel, I was beyond excited.

Last week I got invited to a sneak peek screening of Shalom Sesame. (Ah, the perks of working for a Jewish website.)

First, you should know that when you get off of the elevator at Sesame Workshop, you actually feel like you’re on Sesame Street. The elevators are painted red, yellow, green, and blue. The sconces have the faces of Bert and Ernie on them. When you get to reception, there’s two life-size Muppets to greet you: Oscar the Grouch and Telly. Now, this was exciting for 31 year-old me. But this was beyond exciting to 16 month-old Abigail. She was saying the names of every character over and over and over. And then they took us to an Oscar the Grouch ride…heaven. The kid was in heaven. All of this before we even got to the screening!

As for Shalom Sesame? I really liked it. So did Abigail—she danced to the opening credits, and when she saw that her friend Grover was visiting his friends in Israel, she just had a look of wonder on her face, as if thinking, “Wow, Grover is everywhere!”

There was one segment where the letters of the Hebrew alphabet dance around to a jazz beat, and I looked over and saw another little boy who was totally grooving in his seat. The kids were enraptured.

Personally, I liked when Debra Messing told me about her Hebrew name, and as an educator, I was impressed with how they told the story of Eliezer Ben-Yehuda’s work to make Hebrew the national language of Israel. (In fact, this show could be used at home or in the classroom). The segments flowed together to connect back to the episode’s theme (Grover learning Hebrew) and it felt like Sesame Street, just with some Israeli flair.

So do I recommend it? Yes. Do I think it would make an awesome Hanukkah gift? Yes. Do I wish they were releasing the whole thing all at once so I could convince Grandma and Grandpa to buy the series for Abigail (read: for me) so she could watch the whole thing at once? Yes. But unfortunately the DVDs will roll out two at a time for about the next eight months, at $14.99 each. Sigh. (Buy ‘em here).

But in the meantime, we’ll get ourselves a mini mensch t-shirt and call it a day.

• Posted in Activities
• Tags: Sesame Street, Television

One’s a TV star. The other’s a writer and newly-discovered yogi. Can you guess which parent allows their kids to watch TV, and which one doesn’t? Mosey on over to the mainland at Kveller to read two persuasive tales about the advantages and disadvantages of the old idiot box. It’s an epic battle for the ages, and we swear we didn’t pin them up against each other just because their last names rhyme (but can you say bonus effect?) Once you’ve read them, come back here and let us know whose side you’re on. Let the rumble begin!

The Case for Television versus Taking a Stand Against TV

• Posted in Activities, Parenting
• Tags: featured, Television