Nov 26 2014
I don’t think I realized when she began sleeping through the night. Sure, she’s done it on and off for the last few years, the rollercoaster of toddler sleep cycles: alternating bouts of smooth, uphill climbs with no night-waking at all, interspersed with sudden, steep declines marked by nightmares at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., and 4 a.m. in rapid succession.
But the other night it struck me that I couldn’t even call to mind her last mid-night visit. Couldn’t remember the last time I was stirred from sleep by the warmth of her breath rolling across my cheek, whispers of “Mama,” and bright eyes peering in the blackness just above the mountain of blankets.
And it’s exactly as it should be. This year, she started public school, which means she hasn’t aged only in years, but seems to age in maturity on an almost hourly basis. More than that, she’s tired. Physically and emotionally depleted in ways I never imagined were possible at the budding age of 5. And so she sleeps. Long, deep, replenishing slumbers, often waking later than the rest of the house. Read the rest of this entry →
May 6 2013
I got a tattoo today.
That is a sentence I never imagined I would write. I have been a tattoo admirer in the past, but never a tattoo desirer. I couldn’t imagine an image or word I would want drilled into my skin. I would get sick of it, I thought; I would regret it when I got older. Then, a couple of months ago, I realized that my kids’ initials, in birth order, are AHA–I’m not sure how this never occurred to me before–and my first thought was “I want that on my body.” A true AHA moment.
Of course my kids are already inscribed in my flesh… the scar from the emergency c-section I needed with my first baby; the scar from the tearing I had with my last baby; the effects of eight cumulative years (and counting) of nursing on my breasts. But a tattoo is different. A tattoo is more conscious and direct, a story written on my body that I’m happy to share in public. Read the rest of this entry →
Aug 31 2012
Close your eyes. Relax. Focus on your breath. Be present. Be in the moment.
Those directions for meditation could well apply to parenthood.
It goes fast. It really, really goes fast.
Be present so that one day you’ll remember, and be glad.
I knew, even at the time, that the wonderful time I had raising small children was fleeting. Even during the very hard times, I somehow realized that this was the most important, joyful time of my life and I should treasure it. I tried very hard to be in the moment. To be conscious of the wonder.
I somehow knew that even though some days crawled by, the time would fly. Read the rest of this entry →
May 23 2012
Everyone is busy and everyone has trouble keeping up. While I don’t claim any special level of industriousness for myself, I can say that, in the phrase people often use, I have a lot on my plate.
I’m divorced, and I live in Israel, where I have no family, other than my children, to help me out with life’s occasional emergencies. My sons are 16 and 12, and my older boy was diagnosed with autism (PDD/NOS) at age 3. He goes to a number of afterschool therapy appointments every week and sometimes I fill in for his aide at school during the day. My younger son has his own afterschool activities, some of which he cannot get to on his own. I work as the movie critic for the Jerusalem Post, reviewing films, covering the Israeli movie industry, and interviewing Israeli and foreign filmmakers. Read the rest of this entry →