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Feb 6 2014

Top 10 Ways Winter Makes Me Feel Like a Crappy Parent

By at 3:35 pm

Top 10 ways winter makes me feel like a crappy parent

There has been some sort of snow or ice on the ground in Pittsburgh since Thanksgiving. I am six months pregnant, driving a brand new (covered in dirt and salt) minivan, and schlepping around two kids. Did I mention we moved a mile down the road to a bigger place at the end of December and then my whole family got H1N1 a few weeks ago?

Yeah, I’m over it.

These are my normal “I’m a mom of two” standards: There is dust on my TV stand but I scrub the toilet bowl and sweep/vacuum bi-weekly (as in, twice per week). My kids don’t eat cereal for dinner but I am not opposed to Trader Joes frozen meatballs or Spaghetti O’s. I shower every other day, and shave at least once per week. My kids wear clean clothes every day but pajamas can be used two nights in a row. Bath night every other night. My kids each get two stories before bed and a song. There must be dessert in my house; my kids aren’t usually allowed to eat it. Milk plus back up milk, fruit, and peanut butter at all times.  One or two TV shows after naptime, and family movie night is Friday with popcorn if you ate a decent amount of dinner.

Currently? There is dust all over my house and pee all over my toilet. My kids ate frozen waffles and bananas for dinner the entire week I was sick. Fruit snacks now count as a fruit. I still try to shower every other day but you could braid my leg hair right now. Kiddo bath every third night, smell jammies on the floor to see if they are clean. Bake to keep the house warm, ration each child one cookie/brownie per day, eat the rest yourself after they go to bed. Go outside only if we run out of milk. Listen to the Toddler Pandora station in the morning, maybe one episode of Daniel Tiger, then a movie after nap. Sure kids! Eat all the pretzels you want for snack if it keeps you quiet. That means you will be less hungry for dinner which is good because I have no idea what we are having which is a problem because it’s 7 p.m. Read the rest of this entry →

Jan 14 2014

Top 10 Ways to Respond to People Who Ask if You’re Pregnant (When You’re Not)

By at 1:50 pm

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The other day in the office we got talking about how awful it is when someone audaciously asks you if you’re pregnant…when you’re not. Seriously, I don’t even ask people when they’re 8 months pregnant, just because… just because! There’s an unspoken rule to keep your “mazels” or probes on pregnancy to yourself until the mama feels like telling you.

Yesterday we posted a question on our FacebookThat awkward moment when somebody asks if you’re pregnant and you are most definitely not… what’s the best way to respond to this?

You all came up with so many hilarious responses, we decided to choose 10 of our favorites. Without further ado…

1. “It’s not appropriate to ask a woman if she is pregnant even if she is crowning.”

2. “Yes… It’s your husband’s!”

3. “Stroke your tummy and say ‘food baby.’” Read the rest of this entry →

Dec 31 2013

Carla’s Favorite Kveller Posts from 2013

By at 10:09 am

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2013 has been another big year for Kveller, and our community keeps growing. We have had more readers and writers than ever before, and in case we run out, the team has been doing our part to produce the next generation. Jordana welcomed her fifth child (and started writing a column for the Jewish Daily Forward), Tamara announced her third pregnancy, and Associate Editor Molly Tolsky became an aunt again. Kveller Editor Deborah insists she didn’t really do anything this year, but I think adjusting to life with two kids while running a successful and growing Jewish parenting website is a pretty big deal!

Beyond the whole baby thing, Sarah and Tam both had posts go viral, Mayim was nominated for another Emmy and her first SAG award, and Kveller contributor Avital Norman Nathman’s first book, The Good Mother Myth (featuring several Kveller writers), was published. I sold my first book (Learning to Stay, to be published by Parallax Press, Fall 2014), and Adina and I are working with Jewish mama, historian, and sociologist Judith Rosenbaum on an anthology exploring the experience of modern Jewish motherhood, which will also feature a number of Kveller writers.

Of all the pieces I write for Kveller over the course of a year, I think this is my favorite. I spend several hours combing through every single post that we have published, and as I read them, I am just blown away by how thoughtful, funny, eloquent, and honest our writers are. It’s never easy to narrow the list down to 10, but I have done it again this year. Read the rest of this entry →

Dec 30 2013

Top 10 Most Popular Kveller Posts of 2013

By at 7:01 pm

With 2014 just a few days away, we rounded up the 10 most widely read Kveller posts of 2013. From breastfeeding to eating placenta to over-the-top bar mitzvahs, we’ve left no parenting category unfulfilled. Without further ado…

10. Hobby Lobby Doesn’t Cater to Jews by Jillian Scheinfeld. Not only did Hobby Lobby choose not to sell Hanukkah items at their craft store this year, an employee also irately declared that they did not “cater to Jews.”

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9. Sam Horowitz Bar Mitzvah Boy Live at the Omni Hotel by Molly Tolsky. Let’s just say Sam Horowitz had a more extravagant bar mitzvah than you, your son, your neighbor; anyone.

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8. The Day Two Women at the Dollar Store Changed My Way of Thinking by Sharrona Pearl. After overhearing a conversation about “hungry babies” in the dollar store, Sharona realized just how lucky she was to be able to afford to feed her own kids. Read the rest of this entry →

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