Jun 18 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 1:17 pm
This post is part of Mayim’s month-long series about the Jewish aspects of divorce.
I didn’t grow up knowing anything about the mikveh, the ritual bath religious women enter before their wedding and each month after their menstrual cycle ends. When I learned about it as a teenager, it sounded gross. It sounded like women were treated horribly there, and it sounded like Judaism thought I was dirty and it did not appeal to me at all.
As I increased my Jewish learning at UCLA and specifically through UCLA Hillel, I learned that there were movements of women who were “taking back” mikveh as a transformative and mystical experience. Women who, after divorce or cancer treatment or miscarriage or abortion, were entering the sacred waters to rejuvenate and start again. They were liberating the experience from halachic restrictions and were making a new world of mikveh open to all women. It was beautiful, I thought. Read the rest of this entry →
Jun 14 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 4:36 pm
This week’s most popular posts, in case you missed them.
- A Non-Jewish Surrogate Gave Birth to My Son, And Then We Held a Conversion Ceremony. Alissa’s son was born through a non-Jewish surrogate, and since the halakhic laws go back and forth on whether that he means he’s Jewish, Alissa decided to make it official through conversion when he was 4.
- I Need to Stop Yelling at My Kids. Growing up, Yael felt terrible when her mother yelled at her, and she swore she’d never do that to her own kids. But lo and behold, she finds herself yelling quite often, and for the coming year, pledges to stop.
- I Was a Breastfeeding Snob… Until I Had Twins. Racheli couldn’t understand why any mother who was physically able to breastfeed would choose not to. Then she had twins, and realized that breastfeeding is not always for everyone, and there’s no point in judging other mother’s for their choices.
- Jewish Divorce: Getting a Get With Mayim Bialik. As she navigates through her own divorce, Mayim shares some of the Jewish aspects, like getting a get, the legal Jewish way to break a marriage contract.
By Mayim Bialik at 11:50 am
This is an ad for cologne featuring my fake boyfriend in the Puerto Vallarta airport.
Remember last year when I posted about going to Mexico with my family? And wearing my awesome modest bathing suit?
Well, I did it again last weekend with my boys. This time, I went to the Villa La Estancia Riviera Nayarit near Puerto Vallarta. I took my oldest bestie and her daughter and it was really lovely. We swam in the pool, admired iguanas who lived near the hotel, ate more guacamole than I care to admit, and took a boat trip to a private beach. Read the rest of this entry →
Jun 12 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 12:26 pm
This post is part of Mayim’s month-long series about the Jewish aspects of divorce.
As a woman who is observant-ish and has led an observant lifestyle, divorce presents some very interesting challenges. I don’t know that I am yet ready to present my personal decisions about some of these challenges, but I wanted to share what the challenges are in hopes that other women might find them helpful.
Jewish weddings are held in a religious ceremony that has its own set of laws and rituals. A Jewish wedding is sealed with a ketubah, a marriage contract ensuring protection for the woman in case of mistreatment, neglect, or refusal of rights, such as–not kidding–the right to be sexually satisfied by your husband. Judaism is one of the first religions producing a document (thousands of years ago, mind you) that held the woman’s rights in any esteem, so it’s a very big deal. Read the rest of this entry →
Jun 7 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 4:20 pm
This week’s most popular posts from Raising Kvell, in case you missed them.
- Three Years of Trying & Still No Baby. Their doctors have informed them they’re doing everything “right,” but for Sharon and her husband, three years of trying to have a baby proves just how difficult infertility can be.
- Should a Mom Be Jailed For Her Own Stillbirth? A mother in Mississippi has been accused of manslaughter after traces of methamphetamine were found in her system when she had a stillborn baby. Rabbi Jill Jacobs argues why a conviction like this would open a dangerous slide for prosecuting women for any adverse behavior while pregnant.
- Coming to Terms with Medical Termination. At three months pregnant, this mom found out that her baby had a rare chromosomal abnormality, and she and her husband had to make the difficult decision to abort the baby.
- Since My Divorce, What Do I Do About Covering My Head? The first in a series on the Jewish aspects of divorce, Mayim Bialik talks about how traditionally, once a woman becomes divorced she no longer needs to cover her hair, but it’s a ritual she’s not so ready to let go.
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By Mayim Bialik at 9:52 am
The last post I wrote about head-covering after divorce was the first in a four-part series of posts I have written about Jewish aspects of divorce.
My goal with these posts is to be educational without being excessively emotional; I am told that I am an emotional writer and so it’s hard to separate those. As a writer and public person, I don’t share “everything” and I choose very carefully what to share, always trying to think of my motive. Do I share things just because I can? Or can my writing serve a purpose which is not strictly narcissistic!?
I hope that these divorce posts will accomplish two things. First, I hope they educate people about aspects of divorce in the Jewish community they may not have heard about or thought about. I love that we have Jewish and non-Jewish readers on Kveller who like to learn about how other people live religiously. It’s wonderful for us to have this forum to share. And second, I hope to give support to women who may be similarly struggling with some of the more subtle aspects of divorce by talking about the uncomfortable and inevitable decisions that often come with being traditional in a nontraditional situation.
In other news, I am doing great. I am not a sad sack of potatoes, at least not all of the time. My boys are doing great, their dad is doing great. We are okay. The struggles I am sharing are struggles that I hope have universal aspects to them, but I am working through all of it with support of friends and a great therapist and lots of nourishing myself with time for music and art and adjusting.
I appreciate the virtual support I get from everyone who knows me from Kveller and in the media, and I also appreciate the privacy being given to me and my family that is so important in this transitional time.
Shabbat Shalom!
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Jun 4 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 1:51 pm
My crocheted kippah.
This is the first in a month-long series of posts Mayim will be writing about the Jewish aspects of divorce. Up first: head coverings.
I was raised in a traditional Jewish household attending a Reform synagogue. My mother was raised Orthodox but left traditional Judaism pretty much as soon as she could.
When we lit Shabbat candles, my mother covered her head with a doily and I had a matching one so I could be like her.
My mom’s older sister was very religious, so she and all of her daughters covered their heads all the time in tichels (headscarves), hats, and, for special occasions, fancy wigs. To me, head coverings were for super religious people. I had no problem wearing a small kippah sometimes when making blessings as a child, and one of my cousins in Israel even crocheted me one with my name on it which I treasured and still have and treasure. I saw nothing strange about women wearing kippahs, since in Reform and Conservative circles, it was acceptable. Why not? Read the rest of this entry →
May 31 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 4:40 pm
This week’s most popular posts from Raising Kvell, in case you missed them.
- Alone & Freezing My Eggs–This is Not What I Expected. Sallie never thought she’d find herself single, alone, and freezing her eggs in a fertility clinic. But after a cyst tore her ovary in half, she knew what she had to do.
- The Secret of Parenting: Do Less. Could the secret to good parenting be benign neglect? Jordana makes the case to stop doing things for your kids and teach them how to do it themselves.
- The Story of a Pretty Dress & a Creepy Guy. Sarah wouldn’t consider herself a damsel in distress, but there are still times, as a single mother living alone with her kids, when she gets scared. Like when a strange man camps out on her front porch.
- My 5-Year-Old Thinks Vegan & Jewish are the Same Thing. After leaving a non-Jewish friend’s house who still had Christmas lights up, Mayim’s 5-year-old son Fred asked if they were “half-vegan.” Which is when she realized that he thinks being “vegan” and “Jewish” are the same thing.
By Mayim Bialik at 2:01 pm
I am officially on summer hiatus from The Big Bang Theory. After a month of travel (I traveled every week for at least three days for the past month, including a trip to Paris, two trips to Denver, a trip to San Jose, St.Louis, and New York), I am home.
I am happy to be home. I am organizing my house, spending time alone, and spending time with my kids. I also have seen two movies in one week! That’s a lot for me, since I’ve seen maybe one a year for the past eight years.
I saw Iron Man III yesterday. I love comic books and comic book movies, and I loved the first two Iron Man movies and was very excited to see this one. Truth be told, it was not my favorite: too many plot lines, too much similarity of the lead character to Osama Bin Laden and I sort of felt like it was “too soon” for a movie about the War on Terror showing a lot of graphic stuff about terrorism. But I’m sensitive about terrorism stuff; I don’t know.
I should say that I don’t tend to be bothered by violence in movies in general and some of my favorite movies are very violent and graphic. Django, for example, and movies like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels for example are terrific for me. So I don’t mind violence per se.
However. Read the rest of this entry →
May 29 2013
By Mayim Bialik at 3:57 pm
I bought a new dishwasher. It’s sitting in the living room waiting for me and Fancy Assistant Brandon to install it.
In the meantime, my beloved Peterbald cat, Esau, is thoroughly enjoying rolling around on the insulation. I guess if I had no hair, I’d do the same.
