1. Getting ready with Robert Ramos, who does my hair (his assistant Lorena took the picture). Yes, I am wearing a Star Wars T-shirt. We ordered vegan Thai Iced Teas and listened to Neko Case’s “Fox Confessor Brings the Flood” and “Blacklisted” albums. Fancy Assistant Brandon and I did some emailing catch up and then he left us all to finish getting me ready.
2. Team Mayim: Robert again, make up artist Linda Cowan (who worked on “Blossom” and also does my make-up on TBBT), and stylist Ja-Niya Walker (who also styled my Cliche magazine shoot and styles me for “Candid Camera”). The sheet on the floor is because my house is under major construction and not only did we get me ready on a dusty dust-coated floor (hence the sheet I am standing on), the demolition of an entire bathroom literally above our heads went on for the entire three and a half hours we were getting me ready. The whole team agreed that it was the most unusual preparation for an awards show they had ever participated in.
3. In the limo, finally. I was late leaving, but there was no traffic, so we got there in plenty of time.
4. Except then the driver got lost and drove around for a full 30 minutes. I almost lost my mind, since I had to get to the red carpet to meet my publicist and I felt like a caged animal, except one in a gigantic itchy crinoline dress. It was bad news for those 30 minutes. This is how I felt about it as it was happening.
5. My Erickson Beaman necklace. Ja’Niya helped me add my tiny little amethyst stone Magen David charm which I showed in my Kveller post a few weeks ago. She thought the color fit perfectly and I had her place it on the side of my necklace right over my heart. It felt so good to be wearing it. Better than I even imagined!
6. Ja’Niya is a really down to earth woman. She’s not a fancy stylist who insisted I wear any crazy shoes, because I hate crazy shoes and I am so proud to say she got me these Zara shoes. Not too high, not too pricey; I’m proud she and I agreed that it’s okay to be comfy on the carpet!
7. Here’s me on the carpet. Oliver Tolentino put pockets in the dress as a “modern” flare (who knew that pockets make a dress modern? Not I!). He showed me how to pose, and Ja’Niya reminded me to hold my Swarovski clutch in the same hand as my Marcia Moran ring and put the other hand in the pocket. Done. (My HTC did not fit in the clutch but my lipstick and lipgloss did fit. So that’s bigger than a clutch that fits an OB tampon, but not big enough for my phone. Kind of a compromise.) Some people HATED my dress, but everyone I spoke to loved it, so whatever. I was comfy. I did sweat a LOT because it was pretty muggy (and my body make-up on my chest started to drip down my cleavage and had to be blotted with a tissue repeatedly…). I was able to walk up and down stairs in the dress in a not-very-lady-like fashion, but I was self-sufficient. Many people stepped on my train by accident but I didn’t trip or fall at all. I came close once. But coming close isn’t the same as falling!
8. Here’s me in the limo after. Extensions are in my hand, not someone’s tiny head. I am wearing my compression glove for my hand. My heels are off; truth be told, I took my heels off in my seat before I made a mad dash out of the theater. I walked to valet shoeless (my date graciously carried both my heels and my clutch).
9. I usually tuck my bosom away, but this dress allowed my to look like a real grown-up with breasts. These little “cutlets” are what made that happen. At almost 40 and with Hungarian and Polish genetics, trust me, those cutlets were needed to put everything where people think they should be. Sigh.
10. The morning after. I didn’t go to any parties. I watched an action movie and ate a vegan kale casserole and went to bed. It’s a huge honor to be nominated. Jim Parsons won. I introduced myself to Billy Crystal and thanked him for his inspiration. Mark Ruffalo who sat behind me consoled me when I lost and I returned the favor when he lost. My mother emailed me right after Allison janney won in my category for her role on “Mom.” Her email read,”‘Mom’ my heinie.” Thanks, mom. I know you didn’t mean it to be funny, but it lightened my mood for sure.
Jimmy Fallon said hi to me. Katherine Heigl sat next to us and was super nice. Julia Roberts was spitting distance away. Liev Schreiber was just far enough away from me that I was certain I wouldn’t try to pounce on him which might have been a tad embarrassing for all involved.
So the morning after, I ate leftovers and am going to see my boys, who probably won’t care that I lost. They also wouldn’t care if I won, though. Because they are kids. They are not actors. They don’t know about winning or losing because a group of people vote on your art.
I wish I still had their innocence most days, and especially today. Ever wish you didn’t care if you won or lost something? Maybe I’ll be there next year!