breastfeeding

Woman Says ‘F Off’ to Mom Guilt in Powerful Instagram Post

breastfeeding

Mom guilt is the worst. One mom recently wrote all about it–and it rings true for so many. Siobhan Rennie, an Australian mom of two and a blogger, recently posted a photo of herself on her Instagram feeding her 13-month-old daughter, Aoife, with a bottle. Seems pretty ordinary, right?

Well, it’s not. What makes it extraordinary is the fact that she’s using her platform as a way to fight against the mom guilt that often accompanies mothers’ breastfeeding decisions. Rennie wrote in the caption:

“I still feel guilty every day that I’m not breastfeeding Aoife anymore. Because mum guilt is a HUGE BITCH.

At four months we called it quits, and it was such a painful decision. Life definitely got easier; we were all a lot happier. But I still, eight months on, think I gave up too easily. I didn’t, I know that, but I still can’t help being really hard on myself…”

What makes it worse, however, is the fact that strangers have added to her sense of guilt–as if it’s anyone’s business how she chooses to feed her own child. She continued:

“The thing is, FED is best. Aoife was (and still is) more satisfied on the bottle. It doesn’t matter how we feed our babies, as long as it’s safe and they’re nourished and happy.

Never doubt your choices, you have to do what’s right for you and your whole family ― whether that be breastfeeding until they’re toddlers or never being able to even start, And tell mum guilt to just F OFF.”

This is also why she began promoting other moms by supporting them through her Instagram account and blog, MeOhMy. She told the Huffington Post:

“There’s too much judgement out there about the different choices a mom can make. As long as it’s safe for the baby, why should we judge another mum for however she chooses to ‘mom’?”

It’s not always just about breastfeeding, either. Daycare also causes controversy, as Rennie explained that she faced criticism when she decided to increase her son’s daycare hours. Apparently, one mom told her online, “Why have another baby if you can’t even take care of the one you have already?”

I still feel guilty every day that I’m not breastfeeding Aoife anymore. Because mum guilt is a HUGE BITCH. I had my reasons for stopping. So many reasons (she took hours to B’feed, it wasn’t fair on Harry, so many latching probs meant too much air then too much wind and reflux, ohh and my PND and anxiety…). At 4 months we called it quits and it was such a painful decision. Life definitely got easier, we were all a lot happier. But I still, 8 months on, think I gave up too easily. I didn’t, I know that, but I still can’t help being really hard on myself… Add to that the stare I got from a woman today at the park when I pulled out Aoife’s bottle… Jesus, it was SO judgey. The thing is, FED is best. Aoife was (and still is) more satisfied on the bottle. It doesn’t matter how we feed our babies, as long as it’s safe and they’re nourished and happy. Never doubt your choices, you have to do what’s right for you and your whole family – whether that be breastfeeding until they’re toddlers or never being able to even start. And tell mum guilt to just F OFF 😜😂 [PS I’ve found the comfiest ‘I don’t have to change bras before leaving the house’ wire free bra that actually holds me up properly – prior to finding these I was still wearing my old grotty maternity bras around 😂 🙈#sohotrightnow Thanks @bfreeaustralia 🙌🏼] #fedisbest #bottlefeeding #uniteinmotherhood #nofiltermum

A photo posted by MeOhMy: raw&beautiful mum life (@meohmymum) on

Rennie is totally right when she calls everyone to question why we judge each others’ choices–because in the end, it’s not helping anyone, even if it gives momentary validation for your own choices. She wrote:

“Daycare or not, breastfeeding or not, it’s all the same ― we make the right choices for us and our family, and it’s no one’s business but our own. I know it’s partly inherent, but if you have an opinion and it’s negative, just keep it to yourself,” she said. “You don’t need to criticize anyone publicly, or stare disapprovingly. We’re all doing the best we can, and no one is perfect.”

These are words to live by, not just for parenting, but for life in general. We should always try not to judge others, but think the best of them.


Read More:

Genetic Testing of Embryos Raises Big Ethical Questions

Mayim Bialik: There’s No Reason You Shouldn’t Get Screened for Jewish Genetic Diseases

My 7th Time Giving Birth & Everything Was Different


Joanna Valente

Joanna Valente is the Editorial Assistant at Kveller. She is the author of Sirs & Madams The Gods Are Dead, and Marys of the Sea (forthcoming), and received her MFA at Sarah Lawrence College. You can follow her @joannasaid on Twitter, @joannacvalente on Instagram, or email her at joanna@kveller.com.

The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. Comments are moderated, so use your inside voices, keep your hands to yourself, and no, we're not interested in herbal supplements.

Jewish Baby Name Finder

Gender

First Letter

Submit