Jill Kargman on Making ‘Influenced,’ a Joyful Jewish Movie

Jill Kargman’s new movie, “Influenced,” out in theaters this week, is hilarious, star-studded — and supremely Jewish.

The “Odd Mom Out” creator and writer stars in the movie as her longtime online character Dzanielle, a wealthy Upper East Side Jewish mom and social media influencer trying to get the town’s celebrity dog walker to walk her dog, navigate the charity circuit, grieve her divorce with her handsome ex-husband (swoony Jewish actor Justin Bartha) and most importantly — try and organize her twins’ joint b’nei mitzvah ceremony.

Hollywood’s finest can be seen making an appearance — Drew Barrymore, Kargman’s ex-sister-in-law, plays herself in a sweet cameo. Gwyneth Paltrow plays Dzanielle’s beloved cousin over FaceTime, and the movie is worth watching just for Gwyneth’s hilarious Long Island accent. David Krumholtz, who most recently played a very Jewish talent agent in “The Studio,” is a homeless former rockstar who wears exclusively hand-me-down bar and bat mitzvah swag. And that’s just the tip of the fancy name iceberg.

But this movie isn’t all about the glitz and glam. Directed by Rachel Israel (“Keep the Change,” “The Floaters”), the new queen of the Jewish feel-good movie, it is also a movie with big (Jewish) heart. Dzanielle is utterly devoted to her two children, who are both ridiculously good eggs, chanting their Torah portions perfectly and taking in Jewish values that help bring people together.

Kveller spoke to Kargman about what this film means to her, her favorite Upper East Side joints and her three children’s bar and bat mitzvah themes.

“Influenced” is all about the Upper East Side — your neck of the woods — and its upper crust, but I do love that through Dzanielle, we get some Long Island Jewish representation, too! What made you want to bring Jewish Long Island culture to the fore?

I gotta say, my kids went to summer camp in Maine with all Jewish people, and at first, I’m going to be honest, when I met some of the moms, I felt like — even though we’re all Jewish — I felt like I didn’t connect. 

They just felt very flashy, and that’s never been the way that I was raised. We did an episode of “Odd Mom Out” about it, and I felt like, I’m not gonna like these people. But I learned, as I got to know them through the years, that they really love their kids. 

Yes, there’s some stuff that I am not wild about in terms of the flash, but they are good mothers and they love those kids. So I really wanted to show that, yes, Dzanielle’s a little over the top, but she also really cares about Jhhhared and Dzakota.

I also love that you recruited Gwyneth Paltrow to be Dzanielle’s Long Island cousin! How did that come about?

Yes! Gwyneth is what I call a “who knew Jew.” 

We grew up together. I met her when I was 11 years old. We went to Spence together; we were in an a capella singing group together. I just figured I’d ask, and it was so nice of her to say yes. 

I’m really cringy about asking favors. It just makes me feel like, filthy and dirty, like I need a Silkwood shower. But with this project, I just felt like, you know what? You don’t ask, you don’t get, and if they say no, it’s not a big deal. I just balls out and asked everybody, and they said yes. It was super lucky.

I love the bar bar/bat mitzvah circuit representation in the film.

I was happy to lean into the bar mitzvah stuff. I wish we had a big enough budget to do what people actually do, like the crazy over-the-top ones.

Have you been to any of those?

I’ve been to some, and I will say they’re fun… but at the same time we also think, you know, I’m glad ours were chiller.

What was the most insane thing you’ve seen at a bar or bat mitzvah?

I guess everyone has different levels of insane, but I’m pretty uncomfortable with like, the party motivators having 10 dancers carry in the child in a Cleopatra tent — I think it’s BFTJ, bad for the Jews. So that’s not for me. [I don’t like] crazy excess and throwing iPads at 12 year olds.

What were your kids’ bar and bat mitzvahs like in contrast?

One of my daughter’s bat mitzvah was in a Chinese restaurant, and it was really, really fun. My other daughter’s bat mitzvah was in the Central Park Boathouse, which was really pretty. They didn’t have themes. 

But my son was due on Halloween, and he came early, so his bar mitzvah was on October 24. So we did a haunted [bar mitzvah theme] — we did “Little Shop of Hora,” and we had a thriller flash mob, and then the hora chair was an electric chair. He was in a skeleton costume; every single person was in costume. Instead of doing dance off prizes, he gave out costume prizes. It was so great. 

And all the blood was dripping on the [logo] font. It said Little Shop of Hora in a “Rocky Horror”-type font. We made a million sweaters for the kids. A lot of people took them, but we had a ton of leftovers. We volunteer as a family at a food pantry in Queens, and so I brought them, and everyone grabbed them. There wasn’t one left. And then two years later, I was walking by a construction site and I saw a guy in the wild wearing one. So that’s how I got the idea for Gary — the unhoused guy [in the movie] — wearing exclusively bar and bat mitzvah cast-off swag.

Are the bar and bat mitzvah shirts he’s wearing really real?

Yeah! I just put a thing on Facebook and my phone blew up. I had the costume department go to a million Park Avenue addresses to scoop up the swag; [we were] laughing at how funny it was. The “Weiss Weiss baby” swag was from some Jewish kid’s rap-themed bar mitzvah.

Something else I really love about this film is the Upper East Side “upstairs, downstairs” feel. We see all the working people who make these rich people’s lives work, we see the homeless man on the street. Why was that important for you to incorporate?

I really wanted [to highlight that dynamic] because it just is so important to see the dog walker, the pedicurist and all these people that like, keep the neighborhood afloat. 

Part of the genesis of the character [Dzanielle] was during COVID. I would post all these stories in that character, kvetching about the pandemic. And I had heard about this speakeasy beauty salon in the back of a supermarket, and everyone was whispering like, you walked down aisle eight and moved the plastic fettuccine, and there’s nails, hair everybody could get finally, like, get their gray pubes colored out.

What are your favorite Jewish Upper East Side haunts?

Whenever we got sick, we would get PJ Bernstein’s. It’s a deli, and my mom, like many Jewish mothers, calls matzah ball soup or chicken soup Jewish penicillin. So we would always get PJ Bernstein’s. And now my kids, when they’re sick, they order PJ Bernstein’s.

L’dor v’dor! Zabar’s also gets a shoutout in the movie, as does the steep price tag of the food there!

It’s expensive, but it’s just really, really delicious. I go there often. And Eli Zabar is there all the time, stocking the shelves, saying hi to the employees — the guy works so hard. And I kind of love that. I think of him as such a Jewish Upper East Side icon; he just really works. He’s not farming it out to people. I think that’s why their quality is so good.

This movie gives us a pretty positive outlook on social media influencers, a world you’re pretty immersed in. Has it been hard being so overtly Jewish on social media for you?

I don’t really engage with anybody about politics. I get a million hate messages. I’m called an ugly Jew cunt. I don’t really care. But it’s the violence and the threats that I don’t like. But, you know, I just block them. You have to have a thick skin right now, if you’re Jewish. Even more if you’re more outwardly Jewish. I live in London in the summer, and it’s pretty scary. It’s a scary time. I never thought we’d be here.

In contrast, what are the things bringing you Jewish joy right now?

I love bar and bat mitzvahs. I love dancing as a family, and you don’t really get to do that for many years [after the bar and bat mitzvah season], until you go to weddings. My kids are all adults and legal in Europe, so we go to clubs when we’re in Europe. We’re all dancing around together.

I love Central Synagogue. Rabbi Angela Buchdahl, who’s our rabbi, has the most beautiful voice. We went to college together. She was a really well-known singer at school. Every time I listen to her, it’s like a gift. I can’t believe how lucky we are. It’s like going to a Broadway show. So that’s joyful. 

And honestly, on the Upper East Side, I just feel like there’s a nice community. I feel cozy here.