This Hebrew Word Is Like the Opposite of Schadenfreude

There’s a Hebrew word that doesn’t have a direct translation in English. It’s a word that I love and that — forgive me for being hippy-dippy — I think that when used as a life philosophy, truly allows you to live with humility, joy and community.

If you’re a Hebrew speaker, you might have guessed that the word is “firgun,” a noun, and the accompanying verb, “lefargen.” It means finding genuine joy and pride in another person’s — or your own — achievements, joys and accomplishments. Some have described it as the opposite of the German word schadenfreude, which means to take pleasure in someone’s pain or suffering.

Lefargen, which has become a pretty ubiquitous word in modern Hebrew, making it into music, poetry and literature, as well as everyday conversations, actually comes from the Yiddish word “farginen,” which comes from a German word that means to grant someone something. The Jewish English lexicon defines it as “to not begrudge, not envy; to celebrate someone’s success,” and in the excellent episode of Streetwise Hebrew about the word, host Guy Sharett found that “looked in a good eye at something, saw something as positive.”

Influencer Vusi Thembekwayo wrongly defined it in a 2023 viral video as an insular concept, one that leads to supporting one another only inside the Jewish community and in business. It’s a definition that, as Zach Golden rightly asserts in the Forward, can feed into antisemitic stereotypes. But the truth is that the word is about fostering a sense of selfless generosity of spirit, even when it’s hard. It’s about celebrating another person’s accomplishments without comparing them to your own.

For some people, firgun, sometimes spelled fargin, comes naturally. For others, it can be a conscious effort, especially in certain sensitive situations — a friend getting pregnant when you’re still struggling to conceive, a colleague getting a promotion when you feel stuck at work.

The word can also be turned inward. The expressions “fargen le’atzmecha” or “farginen zich” means to allow yourself to do something. It’s like the equivalent of the “Parks and Recreation” catchphrase “treat yo self.” You might use it when you’re out shopping with a friend and they debate whether to get a pair of shoes they really want, or if they’re wondering if they should take a day off work and go indulge in a little spa session. You can “lefargen” something to someone, like a celebratory cake or bouquet, a tchotchke you saw them eyeing while out together, a bottle of delicious wine or a surprise outing to some place they’ve been wanting to go.

But you can also use it about yourself: when you’re treating yourself, or boasting about a new purchase, vacation or anything else you might want. The song “Mirror, Mirror” by Sharon Haziz is about a woman who takes herself for granted and needs to look in the mirror and see “the one who needs to learn how to ‘lefargen’ to herself.” It’s all about women’s tendencies to ignore their own needs or not do things that make them feel good just for the sake of doing them.

What I love about the concept of “firgun” is that it isn’t just about being deserving of something, or needing to earn something or being owed something. Sure, when we do it in relation to other people’s achievements or our own, we want to acknowledge all the hard work it took, but firgun is also about finding joy — in other people’s happiness, and in the things that make you feel good — and grasping it, simply because life is too short and full of bitter things not to.