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12 Ways to Know If You Are Totally Hooked on ‘Hamilton’

via Hamilton Twitter

via Hamilton Twitter

I have yet to see “Hamilton.” But, last month—after returning from our year in Israel—I bought the Original Cast Recording. I had to see what all this hype was about.

Here is how we listen: We turn it up. Really loud. And then, well, it is as if we are sitting in the Richard Rodgers Theater in New York City.

Have you listened yet? Have you seen it yet? Are you worried the music (or the show if you are so lucky to have seen it) has taken over your life? Do any of these sound familiar?

1. You begin to think that maybe $800 for a seat in the balcony is not that much.

2. You decide that it is a perfectly good idea to explain to your 7-year-old what a “bastard” or “son of a whore” is. At least now she will shut up and let you listen. It is in the name of art, after all.

3. If you see another award-winning musical, you can’t even focus on it. You think, “Wow, ‘Hamilton’ is so much better. I wish I were seeing that now.” NO songs stick in your head, except the ones from “Hamilton.” You even walk out of “Matilda” humming “Satisfied.” (So sorry, “Matilda”! You were such a good show, even if my kids asked me if I brought “Hamilton” to listen to during intermission.)

4. You think it is adorable when your 7-year-old belts out songs in Whole Foods. Even when her lyrics of choice are: “LADIES! So many to deflower!” (Try explaining the word “deflower” to your 7-year-old. Tip: Just say it means to give ladies flowers. It totally makes sense in context.)

5. When your kids talk and laugh with each other in the car, you snap. You scream at them to be quiet. Why can’t they just be quiet so you can listen to “Hamilton”?!?!

6. Maybe $1200 for a seat isn’t that much…

7. Whenever someone says anything that even remotely resembles a lyric in the show, you burst into song:

“Mommy, can you go throw away my trash?”

“I am not throwing away…my shot!”

“What?!”

“Hand over your trash…”

8. At 2 a.m. when you get up to pee, you hear yourself humming. When you fall back asleep, you dream of driving around in your minivan listening to “Hamilton.” With no kids in the car. *sigh*

9. You get way too excited that you have three daughters. The Schuyler sisters were a three-girl family, too! What a crazy coincidence!

10. “Hamilton” just surpassed Selena Gomez in your family. They now ask for “Aaron Burr, Sir.” No more “Kill ‘em With Kindness.”

11. You consider asking your husband to grow a pony tail.

12. You cancel plans and stay home to enter the 9 a.m. lottery for $10 seats (10 DOLLARS! Hamilton is on that bill! I get it!! Good idea, Lin-Manuel Miranda!) and then set your alarm for 4 p.m. Obviously you have to be available to check your email immediately to see if you’ve won. You haven’t yet. But maybe you will.

If you have not heard the music, have a listen. Just beware, you will be hooked. After a while, $11,000 will seem like a perfectly reasonable price for one obstructed view ticket to see “Hamilton” on Broadway.


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