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Feb 1 2011

Mama Makes a Change

By at 12:09 pm

I made some drastic changes like disabling email, Facebook, and Twitter on my cell phone.

I hit my limit on Sunday.  As a result of the snow day on Thursday (don’t get me started on the snow), I had spent almost an entire week with the girls.  (Kudos to all of you stay-at-home-parents—I don’t know how you do it. Unless you’re addicted to something, in which case I don’t blame you at all.)

Although the girls and I had a lot of fun diapering baby dolls (the toddler), chewing on rattles (the baby), mainlining Diet Coke (me), and reading Fancy Nancy over and over and over again (who, by the way, I strongly suspect is Jewish—anyone else find the clue in Fancy Nancy Bonjour Butterfly?), by Sunday I was done.   As in get-these-kids-out-of-my-face-before-I-go-completely-psychotic done.  We put the baby to bed, Josh took the big girl to the neighbor’s house, and I sat down and banged my head on the dining room table a few times.

And then I decided to make some changes.  I immediately found a Jewish boarding school that accepts kids in diapers.

I wish.

In all seriousness, though, I decided that some things have got to change.  I shouldn’t turn into a crazed bitch after just a few short days with my own daughters.  I can’t change them, but I can make some adjustments to my own attitude and perspective, so I decided to start there. I reflected on how I spend my time, and whether or not I’m really taking care of myself. I already know that I don’t get enough exercise, and I’ve increased my visits to the gym at the JCC. Despite the fact that Josh and I don’t use technology on Shabbat, I spend way too much time with my face in front of a screen, whether it’s the TV or my computer or my cell phone or my iPod Touch or my iPad. (Pretty pathetic, I know.)  As much fun as it is to feel connected 24 hours/day, I just don’t think it’s good for me.

So, I decided to make some small, but drastic changes. To start, I disabled email, Facebook, and Twitter on my cell phone.  (Yes, I still need a smart phone, because it has my address book and calendar in it. Also, I have a rep to maintain.) I put the iPad and iPod Touch in the corner of the office, well away from where the girls and I play. The TV is also in the office, not in the living room, so it’s never on when the girls and I are hanging out.

The temptation to constantly check my email or Facebook or Twitter is gone. It’s only been 24 hours, and the difference is amazing, and I don’t miss it at all. When I was with the girls today, I was more fully present with them, more patient, and more able to focus on enjoying our time together—and we had a great time.  The big girl and I gave the baby a bath, we had a lovely dinner together (by which I mean, I ate, the baby ate, and the toddler soundly rejected everything except the blueberries), and bed time went relatively smoothly.

So, that’s small change number one: limiting my access to technology, as clearly I can’t be trusted.  As this next storm approaches, what helps you get through long winters with little kids?

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7 Responses to Mama Makes a Change

  1. Vicki says:

    I read this as I’m nursing my one-month old…I had the grand ideas before he was born about spending our nursing time really focusing on him, but…it gets boring. :) For now, the technology is keeping me sane.

  2. jos says:

    I admire you for taking this step. For me, technology is one of the things that get me through. It helps me feel less isolated and more connected with other mom. Both of which help me be a better mom. Granted, I’ve never had a phone that can do anything but make phone calls . . . but still.

  3. Betsy Naumburg says:

    Not the long winters, but when I had smaller children,(in an age before facebook, twitter and even email) I definitely found that when I let go of any expectations that I would get anything else done and just really focused on being with my kids, it was so much better. Now obviously one cannot do that all the time and conduct life, but not multi-tasking for a portion of every day, made the whole day much better.

  4. Sharon Gorberg says:

    Hi Carla,
    I am totally with you on unplugging the technology. This morning I sat in the living room and lit 2 BIG candles. Now I know you probably can’t do that with the little ones around but I found it very calming.

    Maybe if the candles are up really high?

  5. jlfmama says:

    I’ve been thinking about the same things. Although for me it’s become less about FB and Twitter and more about getting other stuff done. It’s still hard, especially when we’re stuck inside, but I’m hopeful it’s going to lead to more fun and less stress, and happier all of us. :)

  6. tobia says:

    What do I do to get through the long winters?
    We have been building a playspace for the kids. That was a mistake. Now all of the contents of our playspace lives in our living room, hallway and playroom. HOWEVER. I am fairly certain once that playspace is done, the kids will be so blown away by the awesomeness of it all (you know, all those organized toys) they will never want to come out. :)
    Perhaps I should try your technology thing…

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