Whether your sleepless nights are due to a nursing newborn, a teething baby, a sleep regressing toddler, or a 4-year-old with a cough, it all leads to the same result…sheer exhaustion. But never fear, this article can give you some ways to think positive about your soul-sucking fatigue.
1. Sleep is boring.
I mean, what are you really accomplishing during those precious, delightful hours of slumber? Nothing exciting, right? Not like reading that Elmo pop up book for the 75th time to your 2-year-old. Woo hoo!
2. You can’t burn calories while you sleep.
Actually, a quick search on Google says that you do. Also, you need sleep or else your appetite grows into a massive wildebeest of destruction. But hey, do you believe everything you read online? Carrying a toddler around while you eat a granola bar has to be better than just sleeping for eight wonderful hours.
3. Sleep is bad for your looks.
I mean, look how messed up your hair looks after a glorious full night of sleep. And your face is all puffy. You look way more attractive with huge bags under your eyes and a twitch from too much coffee.
4. Sleep is time that you can’t be having sex with your husband.
But you know what’s a real aphrodisiac? Having a coughing baby in your bed. So we’ll call this one a toss up.
5. Sleep gives you nightmares.
Like that horrible one where you’ve been awake for 36 hours, and you go out in public with two mismatching shoes and your sweater is on backwards. Oh wait, that happened last week. Twice.
6. Sleep is lonely.
Imagine, eight or even nine luxurious hours alone in your bed, under the warm covers, without even one kid pulling on your arm saying, “Up Mommy, I hungry”? Boy that would be awesome, I mean, awful.
7. Sleep is time you can’t be enjoying your beloved children.
It’s much preferable to spend every minute of every 24 hour period ministering to their endless needs, even if you have to be a zombie to do it. For real. Ask those old ladies that keep telling you that “it goes so fast.”