How My 3-Year-Old Took the News of Another Baby on the Way – Kveller
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How My 3-Year-Old Took the News of Another Baby on the Way

So with Jordana birthing her absolutely beautiful baby girl last week, somebody has to keep the Kveller baby boom alive so it might as well be me. I’m just finishing up the longest, most tiring first trimester of my life but we’re thrilled to welcome another little one in May. In case you had any questions,

….nope not an accident

….nope not just trying for a girl

…..yes we will need a bigger car

…yes we are staying in our two-bedroom apartment

….no I have not been feeling well

….yes I’ve lost weight, dry heaving day and night will do that but don’t worry I’ll get fat soon enough

…yes I’m still nursing

….yes we will find out the sex

And probably the most commonly asked question, “How did Owen take it?”

One of the reasons we wanted to have closer spacing between this next baby was because our 3-year-old has made it abundantly clear through his behavior and, well, just plain telling us, that the birth of his brother has ruined his life. We’ve called this past year “calculate misery” all leading back to the birth of our second son. Owen acts out for weeks on end; we swear we need an exorcist or at least a brain MRI and then, bam! Out of nowhere at the dinner table he says, “So when can we take Gil back to the hospital?” OVER A YEAR LATER.

We waited to tell him about the new baby until we were ready for the world to know, because let’s face it, secret keeping is not something he’s capable of. We sat him down this past weekend and figured we’d capture what we hoped would be an adorable conversation on camera. Excitement, maybe throwing out a few choice names, general cuteness…

Instead we recorded this lengthy conversation full of critical thinking where he asked totally unprompted:

1)      If we were going to give him another sibling could he send his brother back.

2)      If I could give birth to a full grown child clone of himself.

3)      If I were considering a home birth.

4)      If I were going to be present when the baby was actually born.

5)      If he jumps on me hard enough, will the baby go away.

It really is a gem (that will no doubt end up in his bar mitzvah video), if nothing else than to prove that he has vivid memories of his brother’s arrival and knows the consequences of a new sibling all too well. Gil on the other hand just giggled so clearly we made the right choice in getting knocked up before he was old enough to be an accomplice in his brother’s evil plans to have the baby deported or exchanged for playmate.

Owen wakes up every single morning and says, “So is there still a baby in there?”

Yeah, buddy. Still a baby. Now let’s carve that pumpkin and call a therapist.

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