I'm Outsourcing My Job to My 10-Year-Old – Kveller
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I’m Outsourcing My Job to My 10-Year-Old

I just can't work today.


Assets via Getty Images, Canva

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I’m sorry, guys. It’s 150 degrees, I’m still catching up after vacation, and I just couldn’t newsletter this week. Luckily, I have a bored kid on summer break who needed an assignment — so I’ll turn it over to her.

Hi guys,

My name is Romi and I’m 10 years old. My mother is supposed to be writing this newsletter but she says “she can’t take it anymore” and can’t concentrate with us in the house. She took away my iPad and it’s too hot to play soccer, and she told me I could clean up my room or “help out around here.”

I think maybe she thought I was joking when I offered to do some of her work, but here I am.

So, what would you like to know about me? I like Ronaldo more than Messi (it’s a soccer thing) and I know all the lyrics to Slim Shady by Eminem (but my mother probably doesn’t want you to know that because there are a lot of bad words, but then she shouldn’t have yelled at me and given me her job to do).

My favorite show is “The Simpsons” and I’m now on season 34. But don’t worry, I definitely didn’t watch all the seasons because that would mean that I have watched 229 hours of “The Simpsons” and I definitely have not done that, obviously that would be a real waste of time.

Whenever I say that I’m bored my dad yells at me to read. But when I ask for books, he tells me they aren’t “appropriate.” It’s so annoying. I asked for “A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder” and he suggested “Little Women” instead?!! Yesterday, my parents bribed us to go to the library alone by telling me and my sister that we could get boba on the way.

At the library I checked out the “Hunger Games” and I’m already on chapter 11. It is sooooo good and full of murder AND mystery and my parents haven’t yelled at me for reading it yet. I assume they haven’t noticed because they are always so busy “working.”

I just did a word count and I’m now up to 314 words so is this long enough yet?

Well, thanks for letting me take over this week. If you have any questions for a 10-year-old girl from Brooklyn (who has also lived in LA and really prefers LA but whose parents made her move back to NYC) I am here for you.

Also, please tell my mom to get me a phone!!

-Romi, Daughter of Kveller founder and Chief Content Officer at 70 Faces Media Deborah Kolben

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