Skip to Content Skip to Footer

me time

It Took Me 18 Years to Finally Schedule in Some ‘Me Time’

vigoda

“Why don’t you come back to Israel early?” my 17-year-old son texted me. He continued, “You must be SO BORED… I mean what are you doing there? Nothing?”

Well, almost nothing. My 9-year-old daughter and I are spending the summer visiting my family in California, and my 14-year-old son joined us for a couple of weeks to attend a wheelchair basketball camp. Nonetheless, compared to the last 18 years of my life, I do indeed feel like I am doing exactly what I need to do: a heck of a lot of nothing.

This period wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. I was planning to spend the summer in San Francisco working remotely while my daughter attended day camp. However, a day before my scheduled flight and a mere four days prior to my 48th birthday, I shocked myself. After eight years of service in a non-profit, I walked out of a particularly tumultuous work meeting and resigned my position.

In a matter of minutes, I was thrown into an abyss of “nothingness.” After 18 years of raising and advocating for four children, each with his/her unique needs, marriage to a wonderful partner but one whose professional life limited his time at home, and my own encompassing but “flexible” full-time employment, I was presented with an entire summer of “nothing”: one and a half kids, no work, and no husband.

I was flooded with previously unknown amounts of “me time” and I am relishing in it. In fact, I have been so busy doing nothing that I couldn’t write or even reflect until now.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family and assume that I will one day, soon, pursue a meaningful vocation, but this break is truly a gift (that I fully understand not many women are fortunate enough to be able to enjoy).

There are days I go to the gym, days I just hang with my parents or brother, days I meet old friends and sip cappuccinos, and days that I do literally nothing but drive around and enjoy my own company.

I am amazed at how much I am learning from all this “nothingness.” For the first time in nearly two decades, I am putting my own physical and emotional needs first, reaching for the oxygen mask before trying to help others.

Parenting and partnering inherently involve a degree of sacrifice but nonetheless, even after this summer of nothing, I intend to design a new and better paradigm whereby my role as a life partner and mother as well as my career will not erase my rediscovered self. Modeling these newly learned lessons for my children is in itself an independent goal.

I looked at my cell phone and answered my beloved son from across seas and continents, “No, honey, we won’t be coming home early. I have another 10 days of nothing to accomplish. I love you.”


Read More:

Bracing Myself Against My Son’s Severe Mental Illness

Mayim Bialik: Why I Support This Mental Health Organization & You Should Too

Why This Rabbi Uses Martial Arts to Help Kids with Cancer


 

Skip to Banner / Top Skip to Content