Every time I struggle to shove my comforter into its duvet cover, I think about how I ended up being part of a duvet household as opposed to a flat-sheet household. The reason is simple: When my husband was growing up, his parents told him, “Jews don’t use top sheets.”
Now, of course, he realizes this is not true, but the loyalty to a duvet cover has stuck.
As a parent, I can imagine a million scenarios where I could use this line. “Jews don’t watch ‘Cocomelon.’” “Jews don’t get phones until they’re in high school.” “Jews don’t leave their string cheese wrappers in the couch cushions.” (Just my kids?)
My husband isn’t the only one whose parents made sweeping statements about what Jews do and don’t do. We polled Kveller readers on this topic and the more than 500 answers we received were fascinating — and many of them overlapped. Here are some of the most common things that Jews supposedly don’t do (and some theories as to why).
Jews don’t eat mayonnaise/Jews don’t drink milk
This was by far the most common response, with many people saying they were shocked and appalled when they were served milk at friends’ houses. The milk thing makes a certain kind of sense to me; maybe these families kept kosher at some point up the family tree, and no one ever got on board with drinking milk with meat — or at all. “Jews don’t eat mayonnaise” is less clear, but mayo does feel like dairy, so I wonder if that has something to do with it.
Jews don’t whistle
Several people said their parents forbade them from whistling. One person said, “I later found out that it was because Cossacks used to whistle during pogroms.”
Jews don’t donate their shoes
A handful of readers responded with this myth. “It’s like someone ‘walking on your soul,’” said one reader.
Jews don’t have baby showers
This one, while of course not true for all Jews, is an actual superstitious custom practiced by many Jews; a way to avoid “ayin hara,” or the evil eye.
Jews don’t do Girl Scouts
Another common answer — one person thought her parents might have found it a shade too similar to Hitler Youth.
Jews don’t have pets
One reader thought Jews didn’t have dogs because Cossacks used dogs to attack during the pogroms. Another reader’s parents told her that Jews didn’t have pets because the food wasn’t kosher. “I found out otherwise when I was babysitting for Rabbi Levinson’s four daughters and their pet dog!” they said.
Jews don’t live on main streets
One person told us their realtor told them this; others learned it from their parents. My first thought was that a desire to be hidden is completely valid — but then someone brought up Jewish “Real Housewife” Dorit Kemsley insulting a fellow housewife by saying: “You don’t exactly live like the Queen of Sheba. You live on a fucking main road,” which makes me wonder if the “Jews don’t live on main roads” started as a way for Jews to establish themselves as “upper class” at a time when they struggled to find a place for themselves.
Jews don’t get tattoos
The idea that Jews don’t get tattoos may be the only entry on this list that can be traced to Jewish law. But the idea that Jews can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery if they have a tattoo is a myth — in 2008, the New York Times interviewed eight rabbinical scholars from across denominations who all said this was an urban legend, probably started because one Jewish cemetery had such a policy.
Jews don’t ride motorcycles/ski/camp/hunt/go on cruises/do basically anything where something could go wrong
I guess the anxious Jewish mom stereotype is a stereotype for a reason, though these answers are polarizing — just read the comments on this post!
Jews don’t use top sheets
My husband is not alone — many people responded this way. One reader said: “Top sheets aren’t used in many European countries, so after emigrating here, Jews saw Americans use top sheets and thought it was a non-Jewish thing.”
