“It’s gut shabbos, right?” Meg, played by Meghan Leathers, asks her Jewish fiancé David (Jon Bass) in the movie “Bad Shabbos,” out in theaters in New York this week. “Because your mother keeps correcting me.” Meg, whose Wisconsin parents are about to meet their future Jewish in-laws, is clearly equally terrified and determined to make a good impression on her future Jewish mother-in-law.
That mother, we’re about to find out, is played by legendary actress Kyra Sedgwick (herself a Jewish mom). Sedgwick plays Ellen, the Jewish matriarch, and she takes Shabbat dinner very seriously — the challah has to be from the right Upper West Side shop, the brisket has to be perfect, nobody is allowed to drive over from far-off Brooklyn and her husband, Richard (David Paymer), is not allowed to nosh from her Shabbat fare in the kitchen (though he inevitably does). Unfortunately for her, a prank her youngest son, Adam (Theo Taplitz), plays on her daughter Abby’s (Milana Vayntrub) annoying boyfriend Ben (Ashley Zuckerman) has some Shabbat-dinner-related devastating consequences that put Ellen in fierce Jewish mother lioness mode. On the bright side, it also reveals to her just how much Meg genuinely cares for her family — and this Jewish mother, who at first seemed deeply upset by the fact that her son has a non-Jewish fiancée, has her own Shabbat awakening by the time the candles burn out.
This Jews-behaving-badly (but hilariously!) comedy is Sedgwick’s first big Jewish mother role, and it is such a hilarious triumph. It comes more than three decades after the last time she helmed a movie with a Jewish role, “Miss Rose White,” in which she plays a Jewish immigrant rediscovering her own Jewish roots. It’s a role that, she tells me, helped her prepare for saying the Shabbat blessings and wishing everyone “gut shabbos” in this movie.
And while Sedgwick doesn’t have Shabbat dinner with her kids in her real life, she says she feels like a Jewish mom deep in her kishkes. I’ve been a fan of Sedgwick for a long time. She’s an actress who always brings me great comfort, from her on screen performance as Brenda Leigh Johnson in “The Closer” with her clicking high heels, drawer full of Ding-Dongs and kill them with kindness attitude, to her recent online videos where she’s singing to a bunch of farm animals with her daughter actress Sosie Bacon and husband Kevin Bacon or reenacting TikTok memes with her son, musician and creative Travis Bacon. She is someone who just instinctively fills me with delight, and while they say you shouldn’t meet your heroes, I found her just as delightful as I expected her to be in our conversation about “Bad Shabbos.” We talked about classic Jewish shop Barney Greengrass (just as comforting as Sedgwick and also heavily featured in the film), Jewish mother stereotypes and what you do when you find mystery matzah at your doorstep.
This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.
You are such a funny Jewish mom in this movie. How do you connect to the “overbearing Jewish mother” stereotype?
I really take umbrage at the word “overbearing.” She just doesn’t feel that way to me. [In] my career over time, so many things that I’m attracted to have to do with family. And I think, who else is going to get in the fucking ring with you and fight the tiger, other than your mom? Nobody. So, you know, you better hope she’s a badass Mama Bear! Because no one else is going to love you, try to protect you, as much as your mom. I love her. I don’t find her overbearing. I am a Jewish mother, and I grew up with a Jewish mother. I love Jewish mothers. They always want to make sure you’ve eaten it. “It’s cold, make sure to wear your sweater.” You need these tips.
Your need your Jewish mother in your head at all times.
Exactly. And the truth is, I find myself to be a very nurturing person, and it really helps in life. I see my kids being nurturing because they were nurtured. So I’m a big fan.
Me too. And as much as she can be critical, they also really want to be with her, every Friday night.
Right? That’s the crazy thing. That’s what I love about the family — what I love about this movie — because there’s just so much love for each other at the end of the day. They really just desperately want to take care of each other. That’s a beautiful thing. Their actions are questionable, but it’s for the good of the family
I mean, it’s like you said, she’s like a fighter in the ring for her kids. Is she always doing the exact right thing?!
Sometimes you’ve gotta punch someone in the balls.
So obviously, none of us have been to a chaotic Shabbat dinner quite like the one in this movie. I hope. But what does Shabbat dinner mean to you?
I wish that I observed it, honestly, I really do. I’ve been to a couple of Shabbat dinners that people have invited me to and whenever I go, I’m like, “This is so great. This is so wonderful.” I probably wouldn’t go super extreme with it, but the idea of putting down your phone and making family and quiet and gratitude a priority. Priority setting — it’s so hard to do right now, especially with the constant influx of information and the constant influx of people thinking that they can get to you at any time at all hours. I love the idea of [Shabbat]. And I love the observance of something holy, even if you’re not religious. What is holy to you? What are your primary purposes in life? For some people, that’s family.
What was it like preparing to say the blessings you have to say in this movie?
I am familiar! I did a movie a thousand years ago, in 1992!
“Miss Rose White!”
Yes, I had to learn it for that, though I confess, I barely remembered it. I did watch some really great videos, don’t ask me what rabbi I watched — they were all women and they were amazing. And weirdly, it feels very familiar to me. I have a lot of Israeli friends, and they speak Hebrew and I just love the sound of it.
As a native Hebrew speaker I thought you were amazing.
I appreciate that. Zohar Tirosh, she’s a really good friend of mine, she helped me do some pronunciation.
Would you say this is your biggest Jewish role since “Miss Rose White?”
Oh, for sure!
What draws you to a role like this that has so much Judaism in it?
I don’t know! I’m a big fan of Jews! [Laughs.] I really love them so much… I love and appreciate the focus on family and the focus on ethics. The promises that you make as a Jewish person feel very much in line with the kind of human, as well as family member, that I want to be.
What else do you love about the role?
And I love sitting in the theater and hearing people laugh. I just think it’s freaking hilarious. The way your family drives you crazy like nobody else, but you love them so much — you can’t choose them, but like, they are the loves of your life, if you’re lucky. But you just get on each other’s nerves. I love the bickering. People relate to this movie. They laugh so much at not just the jokes, but the ways in which the family interacts. I’ve never been in a movie where people laugh so hard, consistently, from the minute it starts.
It’s just joltingly funny! You’re like, I can’t believe what I’m seeing on screen!
Your mouth starts hurting and people are missing jokes because they’re laughing so hard.
Well Jewish humor — which is also so much at the center of our identity and this film — is all about finding the laughter in the darkness.
All great humor comes from pain. There’s a lot of pain in this. I think the director, Daniel [Robbins], and the writers Daniel and Zack [Weiner], did such an extraordinary job. The way it’s resonating with audiences — I really have never seen anything like it. So I’m really hoping that people will go see it in the theaters, and take your friends and take your family.
The communal experience of watching a funny movie in the theater is unbeatable!
I think it’s cathartic and deeply important right now, when we all feel so divided. I really feel like it’s going to heal us. I also think that Jewish people need to laugh right now, more than anything.
And it also shows the beauty in Judaism. I love the journey Ellen goes through with Meg. Meg’s character brings Jewish wisdom and connection as she’s becoming part of this Jewish family.
Me too! And so often you can really appreciate something when it’s from an outsider’s perspective. And yeah, it’s like, Ellen’s biases against her get totally eradicated, and for many different reasons. It’s so interesting.
It’s interesting that Ellen just doesn’t like any of her kids’ spouses, for very different, and sometimes misguided, but ultimately loving reasons.
Yeah, it’s funny. Like, if you mess with my kid, I’ll fucking kill you, you know what I mean? Or you’re dead to me, you know! That is always a clear truth that everybody knows, and no one even questions it. It’s clear from her behavior.
Are you the same way?
I’m sorry, but yeah! I like you in so far as you are nice to my kid and lovely, and if you’re not, you’re gone, you’re dead to me.
You better watch your back!
I can’t help it. It actually feels right to me. It doesn’t feel wrong or bad or mean or anything. It doesn’t mean that I’m not completely loving and welcoming to them because I am, but it’s like — I’m not going to question my alliance. Especially if they hurt my kids, forget it.
I love the Jewish ritual objects, and also the challah and the food in this movie. What are some of your favorite Jewish foods?
I love challah. I have to say that brisket — when it’s done well, and it’s really hard to do well — it’s out of this freaking world. I love a lot of the stuff that’s in Passover. I love a lot of those, like the sweet and the spicy…
The charoset and the chazeret?
Yeah, I like that stuff. I love smoked salmon. I love bagels. It’s so funny, because the other day, Daniel was talking about Barney Greengrass and about how this guy has been invited to all these famous people’s weddings and bar mitzvahs and stuff like that. And I said, “What do you think that’s about?” And he goes, the P of the B. And I was like, “What the hell does that mean?” He goes, “The power of the bagel.” I mean, how amazing is that?!
I love that! What’s your bagel order?
I like pumpernickel with Nova [lox] and cream cheese — regular.
Yum. Is Barney Greengrass your go-to place?
I’ve been going there since I was little. My grandmother went there. I’m a fourth generation New Yorker.
I love it, like you’re in a time capsule, a delicious time capsule.
It’s very specific to the Upper West Side, the whole movie, in a great way.
You’ve talked about your love for Passover in the past — is that your favorite holiday?
I love Passover, and I never get invited to people’s seders, and it’s really depressing. I used to, we used to do them when I was with my stepfather; he died and we stopped doing them. My sister used to do them, and she stopped doing them. I got invited to Daniel’s this year, but I wasn’t able to go.
Do you just get a little box of matzah to celebrate?
Actually, someone dropped some off at my house in California. I have a place there too, and it said, blessed by the rabbi, something or other. And I dug into it. It was great. My husband was like “Are you sure about that?” and I said, “Yeah, I trust it.” I trust it, I do!
Do you have a favorite Yiddish or Hebrew word?
“Oy gevalt.” I say “oy” constantly. “”Meshugana,” “putz,” all the derogatory words. And kvell, what about kvell?! Kvell is honestly my favorite. To me, it’s an overwhelming feeling of joy, and it’s a feeling I have all the time.
It’s so Jewish mother coded! Do you kvell about your children a lot?
My God, all the time! Just being with them, I’m kvelling, sitting there. It’s really kind of ridiculous. It’s probably too much.
But it’s the best part of being a mom! What do you think makes your character in this film so connected to her Jewish identity? What do you feel like it means to her?
Oh, I think it means everything to her. I think it feels really, really important to her. That thing she says about [Judaism to Meg] — I got this house plant from my mother, and she got it from her hundreds of years of [Jewish ancestors] and I’m handing it to someone — she’s very judgmental in that moment — who took an online gardening course. I think that she feels like, if you haven’t grown up with [Judaism] as a priority — the traditions, the ways of being [Jewish] in the world, that outlook on the world, the history, the suffering… I think that it just feels very important to her. And Jews, we are still a minority, this small group, so it feels important to have more children. It’s critical to her. The idea that you’re going to mess with that… It’s obviously not something I feel at all. But I know for some people, it’s critical, it’s really important. And it feels like… they wouldn’t chance marrying a non-Jew because of that.
I love how this movie does show in the end that Ellen changes her mind. We see her embracing her son marrying a non-Jewish person.
Yeah, it’s so great. And what a great message to be putting out there, especially right now when we’re intolerant of each other. We don’t want to be putting out a message of, like, let’s be more intolerrant of each other.
I also love that the Jewish mom trope is often shown as one of the most inflexible characters — she has this idea in her mind set for what she wants for her kids and she won’t budge, but in this movie, we see the opposite of that. We see her grow and change, all in one night.
For a character to learn something — it feels so important to me. As a filmmaker, as a person, as an actor, I always want to make movies about people that change. I’m like, so uninterested in people that don’t change, that start shitty and end shitty… We need to learn something. We can all learn things. I think it’s something that’s very important to remember at this time.
“Bad Shabbos” is now out in select theaters. You can find showtimes here.
