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These Bette Midler Quotes Will Make You Laugh and Cry

bette midler

Bette Midler is the ultimate “triple threat,” in that she sings, dances, acts — and she’s amazing at all of it. Her movies and songs have spanned all topics — divorce, motherhood, loneliness, spunk. Midler has won three Grammy Awards, four Golden Globes, three Emmy Awards, and a Tony Award. She’s also sold more than 35 million records worldwide, and she’s still going strong, currently performing in the Broadway production “Hello, Dolly!”

In honor of “The Divine Miss M,” I’ve compiled some of the best quotes from a woman (and a mother) who is truly a living legend.

On being passionate:

“Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn’t take anything drastic. You needn’t be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!”

“Life is not fair. And you have to choose your battles, because there are some that you cannot win. If you’re passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.”

Embracing your difference:

“If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.”

“Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.”

“Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to — or can’t — join the Big Parade.”

On working hard:

“People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.”

“My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.”

“Self-esteem is something you have to earn! The only way to achieve self-esteem is to work hard. People have an obligation to live up to their potential.”

And just being downright sassy:

“I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.”

“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?”

“I want it all — and I would like it delivered.”

“A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.”

“I feel like a million tonight — but one at a time.”

“My whole life has been spent waiting for an epiphany, a manifestation of God’s presence, the kind of transcendent, magical experience that let’s you see your place in the big picture. And that is what I had with my first compost heap.”

“I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.”

Celebrating the holidays:

“I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. If it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.”

How she learns:

“I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It’s helped me a lot.”

Success and jealousy:

“The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.”

Growing up:

“I had a hard-scrabble childhood with my parents. I have a lot of baggage. To come down to the footlights and accept the audience’s affection inside a Broadway theater — that didn’t come easily to me.”

Also, can we just point out how much her daughter looks like her? Amazing.

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