Aren’t you tired of the whole bathroom debate? I am. Because I don’t think there’s much to debate. If you don’t remember what exactly it is, North Carolina passed a law in March that requires transgender people to use the bathroom that corresponds to the gender on their birth certificate, not with how they identify. Recently, single dad Philippe Morgese explained why it’s ridiculous in an interview with Babble.
While it’s easy to think it doesn’t affect you if you or your child isn’t transgender, it actually does. If you have young kids, this means they might be going into different “gendered” bathrooms all the time. Morgese highlighted this, stating:
“‘Daddy, I need to use the bathroom!’ When I hear those words away from home, I begin to panic. Immediately I start scanning my environment. I have three choices: I let my daughter use the woman’s bathroom by herself, I bring her into the men’s bathroom with me, or she has to hold it until we get home. All have their ups and downs, and I’m sure I’m not the only parent to go through this.”
As of now, Morgese’s daughter Emma is 9–which means they’ve definitely been put in awkward situations when it comes to the bathroom. Of course, family bathrooms are preferred, but as Morgese points out, not all places have one:
“At least in there, our odds of it being clean are better. Most places don’t cater to families, and I understand why. The square footage is valuable and the cost of an extra bathroom doesn’t make sense.”
While Emma doesn’t necessarily need Morgese to go in with her anymore, he still faces a lot of judgment from other people when he waits for her outside the women’s bathroom, stating:
“I can see the look in the eyes of women that approach the bathroom. They scan me with their eyes and evaluate my threat level, as I do the same to them. After all, they are about to go into the same bathroom my daughter is in.”
Of course, as a single parent, Morgese is especially concerned with his daughter’s safety. While he may seem overprotective to some by waiting outside the bathroom, he also doesn’t want to take chances. That being said, now that Emma is getting older, their dynamic is changing, and Morgese also wants to prepare for that:
“It’s awkward bringing a nine-year-old girl in the men’s room with me. At what age is it no longer OK? At what age will Emma no longer feel comfortable? Those are the kinds of things I consider.”
Can’t argue with that.
Read More:
No One Prepared Me for My Son’s Bris
9 Surprising Women Who Are (Or Were Raised) Orthodox Jewish
I’m in the ‘Divorce Buffer’ Phase And It’s Actually Not That Bad
Can we ask?
It's important to us to keep the warm, joyfully Jewish community on Kveller accessible for all. Reader donations help us do just that. Can you spare a few to keep Kveller free? (We'll love you forever.)
Joanna Valente is the former Staff Writer at Kveller. Joanna is the author of Sirs & Madams, The Gods Are Dead, Xenos, and Marys of the Sea, and received an MFA at Sarah Lawrence College. You can follow @joannasaid on Twitter and @joannacvalente on Instagram.
