I am coming to you live from Los Angeles this week where I sat down with a group of three tweens and teens to talk about all of the important aspects of Adam Sandler’s insanely popular and insanely Jewish new Netflix movie “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah.”
A few things to know, if you haven’t watched this movie: This discussion might not make sense. If you have watched the movie, this conversation might not make sense. What’s not included here are the bazillion times the participants interrupted each other and the 17 times I yelled at them to stay focused and put their phones down.
A quick who’s who: Sisters Romi (10) and Mika (13…”but actually I’m almost 14”) and their cousin Elle (12).
OK, girls, let’s jump right in. Is this a good movie?
Romi: It was enjoyable to watch, but there are some parts that I didn’t quite agree with.
Mika: What do you mean you didn’t agree with? That doesn’t make any sense.
Romi: I feel like they made all Jews seem rich and have a blow out bat mitzvah party and hardly anyone does that.
Elle: Romi! You’ve hardly been to any bat mitzvahs!
Mika: I have been to bat mitzvahs and some are like that.
Elle, you’re studying for your bat mitzvah right now. Did this make you think differently about the event?
Elle: It made me think I need to practice for my bat mitzvah! After the movie I started practicing Torah trope.
Mika, you’ve had a bat mitzvah, what did you think of the movie?
Mika: I thought the movie was really fun, but the fight with her friend was over the top because it’s really not how drama and fights go. It was too fake, that never really happens. Also, parents would watch stuff before they put it up for everyone to see. I found it relatable because I already had my bat mitzvah and I had similar struggles to Stacy when I was practicing.
Let’s talk about Rabbi Rebecca.
Elle: I didn’t like her! She was scary. I wouldn’t want her as my rabbi. It seemed like she didn’t have any rules and I don’t like when people don’t have rules.
Mika: Yeah, she was cringey, like her songs.
Was the movie realistic?
Elle: I feel like the fight over the boy, what they did to each other, wasn’t realistic. I don’t think people would have done that. Also, Stacy didn’t send the video, the mom was the one who sent it.
Mika: Yeah, the mom is the one who made a mistake.
Elle: I like Idina Menzel. Do you know why I like Idina Menzel?
[Mika and Romi stare blankly and do not respond]
Elle: Because she was Elsa!
Was there a lesson in this movie?
Elle: To not fight over a boy.
Mika: I’d say to not fight over a crush. You know, it’s more inclusive that way.
Romi: Teenage girls can be stupid.
Elle: Is it just me or why is Stacy always like [Elle curls her lips together in and out like this].
Romi: Oh yeah, you’re right. She IS always doing that.
Mika: The lesson is to put your friends over crushes and even if you get into a fight try to make it better.
Elle: Yeah, don’t keep adding to the mistake.
In movies we don’t usually see so much Jewish stuff, right?
Romi: Well it was a Jewish movie by Adam Sandler, of course there is Jewish stuff!!
I get it! But how do you feel seeing Jewish stuff in a movie?
Romi: They got a lot of it wrong.
Mika: What do you mean they got a lot wrong?
[Romi is silent and gives death glare.]
Is that what Hebrew school is like?
In unison: NO!!!
Really? OK, moving on. Were those realistic 7th graders?
Romi: They wouldn’t be kissing.
Elle: They didn’t look like seventh graders, they looked like teenagers.
Mika: Elle hasn’t even been in seventh grade!
[Note to reader: Elle started seventh grade two days after this was recorded.]
Elle, your bat mitzvah is in May. Do you want yours to look like that?
Elle: I like the DJ, I mean I’d like to have a DJ, maybe not Shmuley.
Romi: I think he was the cheapest DJ and everybody just hires him because they already spent so much money on the party.
If people had never seen a bat mitzvah before, would this give them a good impression?
Romi: [Says something difficult to decipher, seems intended to bother her sister.]
Mika to Romi: Don’t be a DJ Shmuley!
Mika, what does that mean?!
Mika: It means don’t be annoying!!
Anything you hated about the movie?
Mika: I hated that her pad fell off, that was really embarrassing. And that Red Sea dance was so unrealistic. They don’t make Red Sea dances on TikTok.
Elle: They will now!!
Is Adam Sandler funny?
Elle: Yeah, I like Adam Sandler. I mean, not like him, I mean he’s a good actor.
Mika: Who is Adam Sandler?
Elle: He was not looking good, you know?
Romi: Yeah, he’s seen better days. Wait, don’t include that, I don’t want Adam Sandler to be mad at me!